Saturday, January 21, 2012
Keep Left...or Right...Just Keep to One Side!
When walking the streets in Australia, if you see someone coming towards you, you usually move to the side, whether it be the left or right, you try to take up less space, and it's usually mutual, both parties walking towards each other take evasive action to avoid walking into each other.
Not so in America. I thought maybe it was just a New York thing when we first got there, it seemed to me that even when you made eye contact with the person coming towards you, they just kept on walking towards you and it was up to myself and Dave to move out of their way. But I can tell you, it's not just a New York thing....it's an American thing. People were the same in Anaheim. And it was only the Americans. People of other nationalities made an effort to share the path, but the Americans, they want everyone else to move for them.
And it pissed us off BIG TIME! It's just so friggin rude! Now I know this is a fair generalisation, and perhaps we just went to places where the Americans were just so oblivious to everyone but themselves, but the same thing did not happen in Canada, or even in Hawaii as much, I guess because most of the people around Waikiki are tourists and a high proportion are not from the Continental US. A lot of them are from Japan, and they understand sharing the footpath.
The funny thing is, since becoming a member of the Pram Posse, I'm starting to realise that perhaps it was only me that moved out of the way. That perhaps this mutual moving to the side that I thought happened in Australia, didn't. Because now that I have less manoeuvrability and find it less easy to move out of someones way, I find that people here don't move to the side. I haven't done a lot of shopping with Mia and the pram or stroller, but the few times I have, I find that people just don't give a damn that it's harder for me with a pram to make room than it is for the other person with nothing but themselves to move. Even when they see you coming from a mile off they still continue on their same course, not making any effort to avoid the pram or stroller.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting that everyone should make way for the queen with her pram, but they could at least move to the side a little so I don't have to come to a complete stop and wait for them to come face to face with me and then move. I've tried to be very careful when getting about with the stroller, and make sure I keep out of people's way as much as possible, and don't block walkways or doorways or high pedestrian areas, but sometimes there is only so much you can do. I could just run the pram into people's shins, but I'm above that. For now.
Maybe it's just me, but when I see a man or woman with a pram, or a man or woman in a wheelchair, or a man or woman pushing anything for that matter, I automatically move to the side to allow them greater room to get through, as it's easier for me to manoeuvre than for them. To me it's just common courtesy, but I'm discovering that apparently that courtesy isn't actually that common!
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| I'm not a member of this Pram Posse! |
Not so in America. I thought maybe it was just a New York thing when we first got there, it seemed to me that even when you made eye contact with the person coming towards you, they just kept on walking towards you and it was up to myself and Dave to move out of their way. But I can tell you, it's not just a New York thing....it's an American thing. People were the same in Anaheim. And it was only the Americans. People of other nationalities made an effort to share the path, but the Americans, they want everyone else to move for them.
And it pissed us off BIG TIME! It's just so friggin rude! Now I know this is a fair generalisation, and perhaps we just went to places where the Americans were just so oblivious to everyone but themselves, but the same thing did not happen in Canada, or even in Hawaii as much, I guess because most of the people around Waikiki are tourists and a high proportion are not from the Continental US. A lot of them are from Japan, and they understand sharing the footpath.
The funny thing is, since becoming a member of the Pram Posse, I'm starting to realise that perhaps it was only me that moved out of the way. That perhaps this mutual moving to the side that I thought happened in Australia, didn't. Because now that I have less manoeuvrability and find it less easy to move out of someones way, I find that people here don't move to the side. I haven't done a lot of shopping with Mia and the pram or stroller, but the few times I have, I find that people just don't give a damn that it's harder for me with a pram to make room than it is for the other person with nothing but themselves to move. Even when they see you coming from a mile off they still continue on their same course, not making any effort to avoid the pram or stroller.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not expecting that everyone should make way for the queen with her pram, but they could at least move to the side a little so I don't have to come to a complete stop and wait for them to come face to face with me and then move. I've tried to be very careful when getting about with the stroller, and make sure I keep out of people's way as much as possible, and don't block walkways or doorways or high pedestrian areas, but sometimes there is only so much you can do. I could just run the pram into people's shins, but I'm above that. For now.
Maybe it's just me, but when I see a man or woman with a pram, or a man or woman in a wheelchair, or a man or woman pushing anything for that matter, I automatically move to the side to allow them greater room to get through, as it's easier for me to manoeuvre than for them. To me it's just common courtesy, but I'm discovering that apparently that courtesy isn't actually that common!
Friday, January 20, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Six Week Shake-Up
I'm not gonna lie to you.
This last week has been hard. Very hard. Mia has just been up and down and all over the place. She basically spent Saturday doing nothing but being fed, refusing to sleep and crying, crying, crying. Thank God Dave was off work coz I don't think I would have handled it on my own.
I have no idea what was wrong, except for maybe a delayed reaction to her needles that she had on Thursday, but she was fine after them and on Friday so I don't think it was that. She didn't sleep the best, she was waking up every two hours Friday night/Saturday morning, which is not like the usual routine of sleeping 4-5 hours, then waking for a feed, then sleeping another 3 hours and waking for another feed, it was barely every two hours and she was hungry!
My Mother-in-law did say when she was first born that at around 6 weeks babies tend to have a growth spurt and want to feed more and sometimes get quite whingy too, so I am hoping it is that and not something else.
The poor little munchkin has a fungal infection on her neck, in one of the folds of skin, so we have to clean it and put cream on three times a day and she is not impressed with it to say the least! But it's gotten so much better in just a couple of days so being 'cruel to be kind' is paying off.
I also took her to the doctor today to have her eye looked at because it's gotten a bit gunky and gross and she thinks it's a bacterial infection so now we have to give her eye drops as well. She doesn't seem as fussed by the eye drops though. To be honest, I think it's the fact that we have to hold her still to do her neck that she dislikes most, so as long as I am quick with the drops and get it in there while she is holding her head still herself she shouldn't be too fussed by it.
I don't like the whingy sookiness though, it makes me worry that there is something I'm doing or not doing to make her cry, and it breaks my heart hearing her. We spent a lot of time on Saturday trying to keep her occupied and interested in different things, and by the time I put her down for bed for the night I can say we both breathed a sigh of relief!
I'm prepared for the fact that there will most likely be plenty more days like that in the coming years, but I certainly hope it's a little while before it happens again! I'm sorry to say that I didn't handle it as well as I should have, I think the sleep deprivation of the previous week just caught up to me, and by about midday I was sitting on the bed crying while Dave tried to get her to sleep; he managed it, although she only slept for about half an hour and then wouldn't re-settle. I just felt so powerless to do anything and like I was doing something wrong that she would just be crying for nothing, as there was no obvious reason why she was so upset. Plus, I admit I got a little annoyed at Dave earlier in the day and took some of my frustration out on him which made me feel even worse.
The truth is, I sometimes feel a little jealous of Dave, going off to work where he doesn't have to be 'on-call' for Mia, and he doesn't have to worry about feeds and nappy changes, and he gets to come home and sleep all day without any interruptions; he can go to the gym whenever he wants without having to time it just right. It's been 7 weeks now and I haven't slept more than 3 continuous hours in a row, or had more than an hour to myself to go get a quick haircut and it's really starting to catch up with me.
And the worst part is, I feel guilty for feeling this way, and wanting to take a break, because I know that if given the choice I wouldn't want to leave her and go off to work or anything like that, but even just 4 hours of unbroken sleep, or a couple of hours to myself without worrying about being available for feeding, would be so good right now. But this is what I signed up for, and I knew (as well as you can) what I was getting myself in for so I have to suck it up.
I am so lucky to have my little munchkin, there are so many people who don't ever get to have what I have and I am so very thankful for that.
This last week has been hard. Very hard. Mia has just been up and down and all over the place. She basically spent Saturday doing nothing but being fed, refusing to sleep and crying, crying, crying. Thank God Dave was off work coz I don't think I would have handled it on my own.
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| I just can't get enough of this face! So cute! |
I have no idea what was wrong, except for maybe a delayed reaction to her needles that she had on Thursday, but she was fine after them and on Friday so I don't think it was that. She didn't sleep the best, she was waking up every two hours Friday night/Saturday morning, which is not like the usual routine of sleeping 4-5 hours, then waking for a feed, then sleeping another 3 hours and waking for another feed, it was barely every two hours and she was hungry!
My Mother-in-law did say when she was first born that at around 6 weeks babies tend to have a growth spurt and want to feed more and sometimes get quite whingy too, so I am hoping it is that and not something else.
The poor little munchkin has a fungal infection on her neck, in one of the folds of skin, so we have to clean it and put cream on three times a day and she is not impressed with it to say the least! But it's gotten so much better in just a couple of days so being 'cruel to be kind' is paying off.
I also took her to the doctor today to have her eye looked at because it's gotten a bit gunky and gross and she thinks it's a bacterial infection so now we have to give her eye drops as well. She doesn't seem as fussed by the eye drops though. To be honest, I think it's the fact that we have to hold her still to do her neck that she dislikes most, so as long as I am quick with the drops and get it in there while she is holding her head still herself she shouldn't be too fussed by it.
I don't like the whingy sookiness though, it makes me worry that there is something I'm doing or not doing to make her cry, and it breaks my heart hearing her. We spent a lot of time on Saturday trying to keep her occupied and interested in different things, and by the time I put her down for bed for the night I can say we both breathed a sigh of relief!
I'm prepared for the fact that there will most likely be plenty more days like that in the coming years, but I certainly hope it's a little while before it happens again! I'm sorry to say that I didn't handle it as well as I should have, I think the sleep deprivation of the previous week just caught up to me, and by about midday I was sitting on the bed crying while Dave tried to get her to sleep; he managed it, although she only slept for about half an hour and then wouldn't re-settle. I just felt so powerless to do anything and like I was doing something wrong that she would just be crying for nothing, as there was no obvious reason why she was so upset. Plus, I admit I got a little annoyed at Dave earlier in the day and took some of my frustration out on him which made me feel even worse.
The truth is, I sometimes feel a little jealous of Dave, going off to work where he doesn't have to be 'on-call' for Mia, and he doesn't have to worry about feeds and nappy changes, and he gets to come home and sleep all day without any interruptions; he can go to the gym whenever he wants without having to time it just right. It's been 7 weeks now and I haven't slept more than 3 continuous hours in a row, or had more than an hour to myself to go get a quick haircut and it's really starting to catch up with me.
And the worst part is, I feel guilty for feeling this way, and wanting to take a break, because I know that if given the choice I wouldn't want to leave her and go off to work or anything like that, but even just 4 hours of unbroken sleep, or a couple of hours to myself without worrying about being available for feeding, would be so good right now. But this is what I signed up for, and I knew (as well as you can) what I was getting myself in for so I have to suck it up.
I am so lucky to have my little munchkin, there are so many people who don't ever get to have what I have and I am so very thankful for that.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
One Month Old
My beautiful little munchkin was a month old last week.
I can't believe how fast time has flown by since she was born. I said to my girlfriend it's so unfair how it feels like your pregnant for so long, but then the baby is born and time just goes at warp speed!
Things have been going very well, although I have discovered that Mia really doesn't like to sleep!
I've managed to bring her witching hour forward from midnight to 4am to much earlier, and some nights we can be in bed by 11pm/midnight, and once she is in bed she sleeps really well, only waking two or three times for a feed, and she barely even wakes for the feed and goes straight back to sleep.
But trying to get her to sleep during the day has been a challenge, especially if we have gone to Mum's or somewhere else. I think when we are out it's a bit to do with being in a different place and there being so much to see and take in. Her eyes can be practically slits, but she will resist going to sleep.
At home it's a little easier, but I've found that if I don't get her down before she gets really tired it becomes so much harder to get her to settle and off to sleep, so the first two weeks of the New Year I am making it my mission to stay at home as much as possible and work on the sleeping and helping her learn to start putting herself to sleep too.
I've been following the Tresillian recommendations on getting bubs to sleep, and a friend has given me a Wrap Me Up sleep suit, and so far it all seems to be working but I've only been doing it a couple of days. I'm hoping with a bit of consistency and a couple of weeks with not much to do we'll get some good habits happening.
I can't believe how much Mia has grown and changed in 5 weeks. She's so different to the little girl I bought home. So much more aware, she makes eye contact for longer and follows you around, she's started to make the cutest little noises, and best of all, we've started getting the most gorgeous smiles from her!
She's also starting to work out that her hands are attached to her and she has control over them and she has managed to get her fist into her mouth to suck on it quite a few times now (which I am not complaining about as she refuses to take a dummy, so sometimes that fist in the mouth is a very good thing! Lol)
The child and family health nurse came and did our home visit last week and Mia had put on 1.5kgs in 4 weeks, so we know there is nothing wrong with my milk! She's is a little piggy I must say! Thankfully we really seem to have gotten the hang of breastfeeding and it's going really well. We are also slowly getting longer intervals between feeds, sometimes we can even go 4 hours!
All in all, I'm feeling a little more confident and less worried about doing things wrong and it feels good. Every day is a little bit easier and Mia grows and changes a little bit more and it's such a joy!
Looking forward to starting the new year with my little munchkin and seeing her grow and change.
Happy New Year everyone!
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| Mia - One Month Old - 23.12.11 |
I can't believe how fast time has flown by since she was born. I said to my girlfriend it's so unfair how it feels like your pregnant for so long, but then the baby is born and time just goes at warp speed!
Things have been going very well, although I have discovered that Mia really doesn't like to sleep!
I've managed to bring her witching hour forward from midnight to 4am to much earlier, and some nights we can be in bed by 11pm/midnight, and once she is in bed she sleeps really well, only waking two or three times for a feed, and she barely even wakes for the feed and goes straight back to sleep.
But trying to get her to sleep during the day has been a challenge, especially if we have gone to Mum's or somewhere else. I think when we are out it's a bit to do with being in a different place and there being so much to see and take in. Her eyes can be practically slits, but she will resist going to sleep.
At home it's a little easier, but I've found that if I don't get her down before she gets really tired it becomes so much harder to get her to settle and off to sleep, so the first two weeks of the New Year I am making it my mission to stay at home as much as possible and work on the sleeping and helping her learn to start putting herself to sleep too.
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| Daddy & Mia on Christmas Day |
I've been following the Tresillian recommendations on getting bubs to sleep, and a friend has given me a Wrap Me Up sleep suit, and so far it all seems to be working but I've only been doing it a couple of days. I'm hoping with a bit of consistency and a couple of weeks with not much to do we'll get some good habits happening.
I can't believe how much Mia has grown and changed in 5 weeks. She's so different to the little girl I bought home. So much more aware, she makes eye contact for longer and follows you around, she's started to make the cutest little noises, and best of all, we've started getting the most gorgeous smiles from her!
She's also starting to work out that her hands are attached to her and she has control over them and she has managed to get her fist into her mouth to suck on it quite a few times now (which I am not complaining about as she refuses to take a dummy, so sometimes that fist in the mouth is a very good thing! Lol)
The child and family health nurse came and did our home visit last week and Mia had put on 1.5kgs in 4 weeks, so we know there is nothing wrong with my milk! She's is a little piggy I must say! Thankfully we really seem to have gotten the hang of breastfeeding and it's going really well. We are also slowly getting longer intervals between feeds, sometimes we can even go 4 hours!
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| Mia maxed out on Grandma's bed on Boxing Day, in the gorgeous dress my good friend C made for her |
All in all, I'm feeling a little more confident and less worried about doing things wrong and it feels good. Every day is a little bit easier and Mia grows and changes a little bit more and it's such a joy!
Looking forward to starting the new year with my little munchkin and seeing her grow and change.
Happy New Year everyone!
Friday, December 30, 2011
First Christmas
All ready to go and see Santa!
Mia wasn't impressed enough with Santa to wake up properly and smile!
Monday, December 12, 2011
27, 360 Minutes and Counting
So it's been 2 weeks and 5 days since my little munchkin Mia was born, and it's been a very interesting 2 weeks and 5 days.
I had no idea that you could run the gamut of so many emotions in a 24-hour period. Every day has been a combination of incredible joy, love and happiness, worry, guilt, anxiety and irritation.
Joy, love and happiness don't need much of an explanation. I can't believe how much love I have for this little girl I've been lucky enough to be blessed with. She changes so much everyday and I wish I could record every minute so I don't forget a thing.
However of course there is a flip side to those good feelings, and I suppose if you're a mother those other emotions don't really need much explaining either.
Worry - It's hard not to worry that Mia is ok and that I am doing the right thing. Though I try not to, it's so hard not to second guess every little thing I do and worry that I am doing it all wrong and setting both Mia and Dave and I up for harder times in the future.
There is so much conflicting advice out there about the best way to do things and while one thing might say you should be trying to do things in a certain way, others say just go with the flow, follow your child's lead, etc.
Because of my control-freak-perfectionist tendencies I find it really hard to just 'let-go' and to not have any kind of routine or basic set of rules to follow. And Mia is so all over the place that I don't know how I would even go about starting up any kind of 'routine'. My heart tells me not to worry too much about a routine anyway, so I am trying to listen to that. She's not even three weeks old yet!
One day she'll have big long feeds and then sleep for longer periods, but then other days she'll only have shorter feeds and sleep for shorter periods, making those days just feel like all I am doing is constantly feeding her! She seems to want to feed on average though between every two-three hours, which is totally normal, but I just had no idea how all-consuming breastfeeding would be. Sometimes it feels like all I am is a mobile milk machine and all Mia wants me for is to feed!
The last few nights she has also decided that she doesn't want to sleep in the bassinet. She's been a pretty good sleeper, and with a few exceptions she can put herself to sleep, she doesn't need to be rocked or held to get to sleep, but for some reason, the last couple of days she has just decided she doesn't want to sleep in the bassinet. She's happy to sleep in my arms, or on the play-mat on the floor, on the changing table pad on the floor in her bedroom (because I haven't properly cleared the stuff off her cot yet), even the bouncer (without actually bouncing), but she doesn't want to sleep in the bassinet. And when it comes to our bedtime, it's so hard to transfer her into the bassinet without her waking up. She just seems to know when she has been put in the bassinet and wakes up. The only time she seems to be ok with going back to sleep in the bassinet is in the mornings, she usually wakes up for a feed between 6-8am and then is happy to go straight back in to the bassinet and sleep for another 2 hours before waking for another feed.
One good thing is we seem to have gotten the hang of breastfeeding pretty good. She latches on well most of the time (sometimes we have a false start or two) and she seems to feed really well, but it is still a bit all over the place, sometimes she'll feed for 20mins, other times only 10mins, but I have no idea if the difference is because she is just having a lazy feed sometimes and taking her time and other times she is really hungry and gulping it all down all what. I haven't had a chance to take her to get weighed again (will be doing so this week) but I know she is definitely gaining weight so I'm not too concerned.
Guilt, anxiety and irritation - This has all come about because of her seeming dislike for wanting to sleep in the bassinet and the fact she finds it harder to get to sleep at night. The last couple of nights she has been quite fussy and crying, right when it's time for bed after feeding (usually some time between 10:30pm and midnight), she'll pretty much fall asleep right after having a feed, but as soon as I put her down in the bassinet she's waking up and won't settle and it takes ages to get her to sleep again, even though the rest of the time throughout the day (and the early hours of morning) she has no problem nodding off to sleep. I'm still trying to figure out what the problem might be, and tomorrow I plan on tidying her room and clearing her big cot and seeing if she'll be happy to sleep in there. And if she is then she might be making the transition from bassinet in our room to big cot in her room a lot sooner than I thought (or want!). But if she's happy to go to sleep in the cot, then so be it.
Anyway, this post ended up being a lot longer than I expected or anticipated. I'm loving being a Mum, I knew before that having a baby was going to be an overwhelming experience, and one that is a lot of hard work, with huge rewards, but it's true that nothing can really prepare you for how much hard work there ends up being and the emotional roller coaster you'll be riding. But I will say, I'd much rather be doing this work than any other coz the pay-off, having such a gorgeous little girl, makes it all so worth it in the end!
I had no idea that you could run the gamut of so many emotions in a 24-hour period. Every day has been a combination of incredible joy, love and happiness, worry, guilt, anxiety and irritation.
Joy, love and happiness don't need much of an explanation. I can't believe how much love I have for this little girl I've been lucky enough to be blessed with. She changes so much everyday and I wish I could record every minute so I don't forget a thing.
However of course there is a flip side to those good feelings, and I suppose if you're a mother those other emotions don't really need much explaining either.
Worry - It's hard not to worry that Mia is ok and that I am doing the right thing. Though I try not to, it's so hard not to second guess every little thing I do and worry that I am doing it all wrong and setting both Mia and Dave and I up for harder times in the future.
There is so much conflicting advice out there about the best way to do things and while one thing might say you should be trying to do things in a certain way, others say just go with the flow, follow your child's lead, etc.
Because of my control-freak-perfectionist tendencies I find it really hard to just 'let-go' and to not have any kind of routine or basic set of rules to follow. And Mia is so all over the place that I don't know how I would even go about starting up any kind of 'routine'. My heart tells me not to worry too much about a routine anyway, so I am trying to listen to that. She's not even three weeks old yet!
One day she'll have big long feeds and then sleep for longer periods, but then other days she'll only have shorter feeds and sleep for shorter periods, making those days just feel like all I am doing is constantly feeding her! She seems to want to feed on average though between every two-three hours, which is totally normal, but I just had no idea how all-consuming breastfeeding would be. Sometimes it feels like all I am is a mobile milk machine and all Mia wants me for is to feed!
The last few nights she has also decided that she doesn't want to sleep in the bassinet. She's been a pretty good sleeper, and with a few exceptions she can put herself to sleep, she doesn't need to be rocked or held to get to sleep, but for some reason, the last couple of days she has just decided she doesn't want to sleep in the bassinet. She's happy to sleep in my arms, or on the play-mat on the floor, on the changing table pad on the floor in her bedroom (because I haven't properly cleared the stuff off her cot yet), even the bouncer (without actually bouncing), but she doesn't want to sleep in the bassinet. And when it comes to our bedtime, it's so hard to transfer her into the bassinet without her waking up. She just seems to know when she has been put in the bassinet and wakes up. The only time she seems to be ok with going back to sleep in the bassinet is in the mornings, she usually wakes up for a feed between 6-8am and then is happy to go straight back in to the bassinet and sleep for another 2 hours before waking for another feed.
One good thing is we seem to have gotten the hang of breastfeeding pretty good. She latches on well most of the time (sometimes we have a false start or two) and she seems to feed really well, but it is still a bit all over the place, sometimes she'll feed for 20mins, other times only 10mins, but I have no idea if the difference is because she is just having a lazy feed sometimes and taking her time and other times she is really hungry and gulping it all down all what. I haven't had a chance to take her to get weighed again (will be doing so this week) but I know she is definitely gaining weight so I'm not too concerned.
Guilt, anxiety and irritation - This has all come about because of her seeming dislike for wanting to sleep in the bassinet and the fact she finds it harder to get to sleep at night. The last couple of nights she has been quite fussy and crying, right when it's time for bed after feeding (usually some time between 10:30pm and midnight), she'll pretty much fall asleep right after having a feed, but as soon as I put her down in the bassinet she's waking up and won't settle and it takes ages to get her to sleep again, even though the rest of the time throughout the day (and the early hours of morning) she has no problem nodding off to sleep. I'm still trying to figure out what the problem might be, and tomorrow I plan on tidying her room and clearing her big cot and seeing if she'll be happy to sleep in there. And if she is then she might be making the transition from bassinet in our room to big cot in her room a lot sooner than I thought (or want!). But if she's happy to go to sleep in the cot, then so be it.
Anyway, this post ended up being a lot longer than I expected or anticipated. I'm loving being a Mum, I knew before that having a baby was going to be an overwhelming experience, and one that is a lot of hard work, with huge rewards, but it's true that nothing can really prepare you for how much hard work there ends up being and the emotional roller coaster you'll be riding. But I will say, I'd much rather be doing this work than any other coz the pay-off, having such a gorgeous little girl, makes it all so worth it in the end!
Friday, December 2, 2011
The Longest, Most Amazing Day of My Life
This is the story of the most amazing day of my life...
On Monday 21st November I had my final OB appointment before my due date (23.11.11) at 10am. I was 39 weeks 5 days pregnant. He examined me and said I was about 2cms dilated already. I was pretty happy about that, needless to say. As I said to Dave, I was 20% of the way to fully dilated! He wanted to book me in for an induction at 7am on my due date, Wednesday as he was worried about the size of bubs because of my gestational diabetes. However he was pretty confident that I would go into labour before needing the induction, but he booked it anyway, just in case.
So I woke up on Tuesday morning the 22nd November around 7am with contractions that weren't too intense and around 10 minutes apart. Spent the rest of the day sitting on the fit ball and wandering around the shops with Dave, trying to help move things along as the contractions seemed to just come and go throughout the day, without much rhyme or reason to them, some worse than others, but mostly bearable.
By 10pm that night however they'd really started to pick up in intensity and frequency, varying between 5-8 minutes apart. I pretty much sat on my glider chair, breathing, rocking and counting through each contraction. Dave mostly did Sudoku puzzles (I knew he'd become addicted once I taught him how to do them!) and tidied up around the house.
By about 2am contractions were really starting to become intense and close together and Dave was a real help, counting through each one for me. I found the counting helped to keep me focused and not panic or anything from the pain, plus it was a good indicator to me when one was about to finish so I could look forward to that.
At 3am I felt like I was ready to go to the hospital, I didn't feel out of control, but I felt like I needed to be somewhere with people who had been through this before and could tell me how everything was going. I said all along that I wanted to try and stay at home as long as possible and it's like my body kind of knew when it was time to go. Plus I wasn't really looking forward to having contractions in the car so I figured the sooner we left the better.
We got to the hospital about 3am and I stood out the front of emergency breathing through a contraction while Dave parked the car and grabbed the bags. A security guard escorted us to the maternity ward through emergency. He asked me if I wanted to take the stairs or the lift. My answer "You don't have to wait for stairs". So up the stairs we went and were directed straight to the delivery ward.
Kirrily was the midwife on duty and she showed us to our birthing room and waited patiently for me to breath through another contraction. She then asked me if I'd prefer to stay in my clothes (I was wearing trackies and a pink top) or if I'd like a gown. I chose the gown. I knew things were gonna get messy and didn't want to have to bother washing and soaking clothes when I got home.
I climbed up on the bed so the midwife could get a monitor on my belly to see how the baby was doing and as I got up there my waters broke. Best timing ever. Dave's comment was "Thank God that didn't happen earlier, you would have ruined the glider!". I just looked at him and the midwife laughed. She got me set up on the baby heart-rate monitor and then went out to start getting paperwork ready.
The contractions were really ramping up now and I started to find it harder to deal with them being stuck on the hospital bed with the monitor strapped to me. When Kirrily came back she asked if I wanted to try the gas and air and I was like "Yes please!" I swear, it did nothing but dry my mouth out and make me feel a bit like I was stoned or tripping out or something, the pain was still there, but at least it gave me something to bite on! Poor Dave was doing his best not to cringe with every contraction as I squeezed his hand so hard and he counted through everyone for me as I was past the point of being able to count myself.
Kirrily came back to do an internal examination and take off the monitor about 45 minutes after we'd arrived and I said I was hoping for a big fat 10! Unfortunately I was only 5cms dilated, but she said my cervix was nice and ripe and progressing really well. Small comfort when you suddenly think you've still got hours more of the pain to go!
It was at this stage that I started to really feel like I was losing control of the pain, the contractions just seemed to be getting stronger and stronger (if that was possible!) and closer and closer together. When Kirrily next came in I told her I wanted an epidural but she suggested it might be a good idea to wait a little longer as it might slow things down. She left the room and came back a few minutes later and I told her I really needed something for the pain and she asked if I would like to try some morphine. I said yes, anything, just make it hurt less!
However, before she'd even had a chance to organise any kind of pain relief I suddenly felt the most overwhelming urge to push. I said to Dave "I gotta push, I gotta push" and thankfully the midwife walked back in the room at that time and I told her the same thing. The contractions were just coming one after the other and it felt as though the only thing that would help would be to push.
She was a bit skeptical so said she would examine me again, as it had only been about 15mins since she'd last checked and I was 5cms. Sure enough, she had another look and I was fully dilated (Thank God!). She asked me if I'd had a baby in a previous life as that was the fastest she'd ever seen anyone go from 5 to 10cms with their first baby. I just asked her to Get. It. Out!
She told me to start pushing if that's what I wanted to do, then ran out to ring the OB so that he would get there in time and wouldn't miss it. About half an hour before this I'd messaged my Mum to let her know that I was in the hospital and it was all systems go and it turns out she was awake and jumped straight in the car to come over. Good thing she did too, as she had to get from Campbelltown to Windsor (about a 45 min drive) and somehow she made it with about 15 mins to spare.
I pushed for about an hour and a half and it was probably the longest hour and a half of my life. I don't know what I would have done if Dave wasn't there, I could not have done it without him. He just kept telling me what a good job I was doing and that I was almost there, and it was hearing his voice that stopped me from being totally freaked out by the entire situation.
Finally, at 6:05am, 2 and a half hours after arriving at the hospital, my beautiful little Mia was born. It was the most surreal thing when they handed her to me, I just couldn't believe she'd come out of me! The look on Dave's face was one of pure amazement. Neither of us cried, we were both just so overwhelmed that we had somehow managed to make this little wriggling baby and that I'd pushed her out! I just could not take my eyes off her.
It took the OB about 40 mins to stitch me up as I had a torn perineum as well as internal tearing as Mia came out with one arm up around her head with the umbilical cord all wrapped up around so it wasn't ideal and did a bit of damage, something I'm sure she will hear about for the rest of her life! Lol!
My Mum was blown away by the whole thing and I also think a little overwhelmed as well, it being the first time she'd experienced childbirth from that perspective and not being the one actually giving birth! Dave's parents got there about an hour after Mia was born and needless to say they were pretty excited!
It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, one that I know I will never forget. It's true when they say that the memory of the pain fades and dims, because if it didn't, I couldn't write this story now. I must admit for the first day or two afterwards I think I was in a little bit of shock, it's weird how something so amazing can also be a little bit traumatic when you stop and think about what actually happened and the pain you went through. After going through that, I'm not sure if I would like to go through it again without an epidural, but ask me in a couple of years, when we decide to have another one and I'm sure I won't even care, I'll just want another baby! Because holding that little baby at the end of it was the ultimate prize!
I think one of the best things about having Mia is seeing Dave as a father. It's the most beautiful thing to see. He is just so in love with his little daughter, he just can't get enough of her. He is willing to do anything, change the dirtiest of nappies and is more than happy for me to express a bottle of milk during the day so that he can get up and do one of the night feeds. In the 9 days since she's been alive he has copped exploding poo and projectile vomit all over him and it hasn't fazed him once. If it's possible I'm even more in love with him now than I was before.
And needless to say, I am so in love with my little girl, I just can't get enough of her and just think she is the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life! If I could I would just sit and look at her all day. So would Dave!
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