Opinions are like assholes. Linky Lovin' Friday {17th October 2014} // Blogging | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Friday, 17 October 2014

Opinions are like assholes. Linky Lovin' Friday {17th October 2014} // Blogging

It's a funny online world we live in. There are so many things that amuse me. So many things that I read and just shake my head about. I learnt pretty quickly when I used to read The Punch on a daily basis to either stop reading comments sections on blogs run by big-name newspapers and media outlets or just skim one or two. It wasn't worth the feeling of needing to shove something through my eye because of all the stupid.

After so many years online I've discovered that much like in offline life, sometimes it's far better and easier to not say anything at all, rather than start a flame war because some person somewhere will always take things the wrong way. Tone is such an important thing when it comes to communicating with our fellow humans, and it's ridiculously hard to accurately convey tone online. Just another reason why we really need to get on the designing of that sarcasm font pronto. While we're at it we should probably do some work on a satire font and an irony font too!

I admire people who are willing to put it all out there, express opinions that they know are not going to be popular. I am a lot more outspoken and opinionated in my offline life than I am online. Some people may think this is being dishonest or disingenuous. The thing is, I really just have an aversion to drama. I just can't be bothered with it, especially online. It's why I often won't bother wading in to an argument online unless it's something I feel really, really passionate about.

In my offline life I know the people I interact with on a daily or regular basis. They know me. I know what things I can and can't say to some people without them being hurt or offended. It doesn't mean I don't say anything at all, it just means that the way I frame things about a certain topic or issue will be different depending on the person I'm talking to. Because I don't want to cause and deal with drama.

There are people in my offline world who have issues with Muslims and tar them all with the same Islamic State brush. Same goes for asylum seekers. Generally I try to avoid talking about those issues with certain people all together, but when it does come up, I think very carefully about how to word my thoughts and opinions so as to not insult them or get them worked up. I've learned that a discussion works much better if you don't just spew thoughts from your head and get people's backs up. If you're calm, and present your opinion in a rational and respectful way, people are much more inclined to listen and not shut you down.
Yes, I actually did take this photo. Back in 2010, on a hens night. Walking down a street in The Rocks, minding our own business.
When we came across this.  As if I wasn't going to take a photo!

The thing about an opinion is that just like assholes, everybody has one. And when you express an opinion on social media particularly, you need to be prepared to take the heat when people misinterpret the meaning or tone of your opinion. Of course, there are just some people who like a good verbal attack and will have a go no matter what or how you say it, and love to debate the people rather than the point. If you are happy to deal with the drama that expressing an opinion on social media brings then by all means, go straight ahead.

Every time I write something online I always expect someone to take issue with it and prepare for that. Thankfully it hardly ever happens. There have been occasions when I've written posts with very strongly-worded opinions and I know before I even hit publish that some people are not going to agree and will get het up. I also know that even a seemingly innocuous post can get people riled.

I do think sometimes though, in some circumstances, that opinions on some things just don't need to be shared. It's just not worth the time or the energy. For me, I choose the things I do and don't want to fight about, and some things just aren't worth it. Some things are just better left unsaid to certain people for the sake of your own happiness and sanity.

To be honest, I've gotten to a point now while writing this post that I'm not even sure what kind of point I'm even trying to make anymore. This is what happens when you have a tiny seed of a thought and you just start writing.

So, on that confused note, on to my links of choice for the week. Articles and writing that actually have a point, and people who know exactly what they are trying to say!

(And in case anyone was wondering, this hasn't been inspired by anyone or anything, it's just something that has been brewing in the back of my brain for a while, maybe most of the year actually).
I nicked this post from Lara's post (link below), who in turn nicked it from this article
Shame About That Bass by This Charming Mum

...I think All About That Bass is a wasted opportunity to put forward a truly equitable message about being comfortable in your own skin.

Love, love, love this post from Lara. She writes about some of the things that haven't quite hit the mark in the hit song All About that Bass. You can also read my mini-rant in the comments section once you're done reading her well-thought out post.
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Minimalism: I threw out more than 20,000 items by Brooke McAlary

And on top of that was the stuff we already owned. It was suffocating. Years of accumulation. Wardrobes overflowing with clothes I never wore. Years of hard fought credit card debt. A double garage so crammed with crap that no car had ever been in it. Boxes of which I knew not the contents. None of it was worth it.

This post was shared by a few bloggers and facebook friends and I really loved it. It struck a chord with me. For the last couple of weeks I've been feeling overwhelmed by everything that I've got going on and all the "stuff" in this house. I realised the other day that part of what makes me stressed, and puts me in a bad mood, is being surrounded by crap all the time and the stress of having to clean and tidy it all. There are some days when I just want to put 99% of the stuff in this house on the front lawn and let the people and the council pick-up have at it.

I need to get rid of so much of this stuff and this article made me realise why.
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Recovering from blogger burnout. Losing myself in shaping my blog by Carly Findlay

It's silly isn't it? Feeling the most pressure from ourselves.

I love Carly's blog. She always writes such good stuff and makes me think about things in ways I maybe hadn't before. The comment that Carly received on her blog that she talks about in this post is gold, and goes to the very essence of personal blogging and why many people are drawn to it, both as writers and readers, in the first place. Which leads me to the next link...
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Image nicked from the article linked directly below
Why personal blogs can never really survive monetisation by Jennine Jacob

Your life will become your job.

Carly referred to this article in her post and I found it very interesting and it rings true in more ways than one, even for those who aren't fashion bloggers exactly, but whose blogs revolve primarily around themselves and their life. An interesting read.
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49 Brilliant Uses for your smartphone's camera

And finally, this is a fun little article to end this week's Linky Lovin' Friday on. The comments on this post are just as good as the article itself. Many of these I do already, but some of it had me shaking my head and thinking "How do people come up with this stuff?!"

So, what do you think? Do you think some things and opinions are just better left alone and unsaid? Have you read anything fabulous this week that you think I should check out?

17 comments:

  1. Oh, I'm all about the little seed that fizzles out the more I write, you've done so much better than I usually do.


    Very, very rarely will I comment when something gets my goat on social media, it's not that I don't have an opinion it's more that I don't want to get drawn into a war. Having said that, I did recently jump in on a buy and sell site on FB when one person was incredibly rude and hurtful about another person's spelling and grammar (totally irrelevant and just plain nasty) and said I thought she should remove her unkind comment and show the lady some respect and I did silently shake my head in despair at her response - 'It's not hard to write with correct English grammer!

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  2. I fortunately haven't attracted any trolls yet, but then again I am careful not to express any out there opinions just because I can't bear the thought of letting someone elses negative vibe get inside of me or to have to try and deal with them. I just don't have the spare energy. People are just vicious for sport purposes online. It's rather disappointing.

    On a positive note, I look forward to some reading thanks to your recommendations! x

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  3. My blog is almost entirely my opinions. I've actually found opinions really great for friend-sorting. If I express an opinion on facebook and someone vehemently opposes it to the point of rudeness and ad-hom attacks- BAM! Delete! I have no problem debating a subject (in fact, I LOVE a good debate!) but I do not appreciate people who cannot support their point of view and instead use strawman arguments and personal insults to express their disagreement. I

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  4. I'm not interesting enough to be hated yet which I suppose is a good thing. I have strong opinions but only voice them when I feel they will be taken the right way and not as criticism. Everyone things every comment is an attack against them but it's not. The whole world has gone a little PC in regards to having an opinion, a FB thread I started to read last week with more than 100 comments - this person said something and WOW did it turn into a shit storm. The post by Carly looks like a good read, off I go. Thanks, happy weekend x

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  5. One of the very first articles I ever wrote was (I thought) a fairly non-controversial article about the history of bottle feeding and how we should stop bitching about breast is best and just be grateful we have a viable alternative these days. It was published on Mamamia and PHEW talk about a baptism of fire!


    It hasn't stopped me from having an opinion though. I'm with you, however - opinion needs to be backed up by something. The unwritten rule in my grandfather's house was always 'You can have any opinion you like as long as you're prepared to defend it to the death!'.

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  6. Thanks for sharing. I try to NEVER read comments on news items cos the drive me mental. Of course I fail so hyperventilate while I contemplate the idiocy of the majority of Australians...


    As for me - I just write about books and crap so rarely garner any haters. Plus my blog's small so I fly under the radar.

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  7. I haven't attracted too many 'haters' yet either. I've had some negative comments on FB but nothing too bad, but then again I haven't really put myself out there. This week I posted a few controversial topics, some of which I thought might to come back to bite me...but so far so good!!

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  8. I've been thinking a lot of similar thoughts lately Kylez. There are something's that don't need to be said, and others that can only be said in actual conversation with people who know you're heart. Context makes opinions much more palatable I feel, plus having a genuine respect and relationship with someone is so important for controversial topics.

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  9. I agree, there needs to be a sarcasm font or something to convey the tone. People can very easily get upset at something that wasn't intended that way. In the same instance I think if you are going to say something inflammatory you need to be thick skinned and ready for people's responses. Also a side effect of being online is that you are opening up to the world and are asking for people's opinions. That photo - gold!

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  10. I am a raving ranting lunatic offline but I don't bring it online at all. I just figure that I wouldn't bring it to my workplace so somewhere that I take seriously, like my blog, gets professional like behaviour. Sort of, I am still me and I still swear and talk about copious wine consumption but I am careful not to pass judgement or strong opinion because there is enough of that around and my skin is tooo thin for the backlash I will get. It's a form of self preservation and I think as a blogger you need to protect yourself when you need to. I love bloggers that let it all hang out though, It's just not me. xoxoxo

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  11. As the SMM for an organisation I spend hours each week carefully deciding what will or will not be shared publicly, trying to find the things that are least offensive, but no matter how I try there is always one little unhappy camper that likes to send me a private message to give me their opinion.

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  12. Great links! Am off to check out that minimalism one...

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  13. I've done so many rant posts over the two years I been blogging and possibly only ever published one, although even that one was watered down. I need to work out how to do this in real life. I have a huge case of foot in mouth syndrome at the moment.

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  14. I used to be a lot more reckless in my opinion online. Like you though, I just don't have the energy or time to deal with the fallout of disagreeing with everything that I see. More often than not I'll just send a link to a friend and say WTF have you seen this.

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  15. Thanks so much for linking up to my mini rant Kylie. I'm still ranting in private on the topic. In fact I might even write a follow up post soon and see what people have to say. Lots of people have commented on the issue of fat/skinny shaming but almost no one commented on the issue of conforming to a certain look for the sake of blokes. Eg. 'boys like a little more booty to hold at night...' But as a general rule, I'm too much of a scaredy cat to be controversial. I enjoy a good debate, but it takes the fun out of the blog when people yell at me. I admire people who can truly stand up for their convictions!

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  16. I have many many opinions, but I more often than not keep them to myself, especially if online as there is so much room for them to be taken the wrong way or used against me. xx

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  17. Same here. Just can't be bothered getting into a debate with dullards and pinheads - there is no point and a waste of energy. Don't mind a lively discussion but impossible to do that with trolls. Also thanks for the links, always on the look out for some good stuff!

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