The Lazy Girl's Guide to... Vanishing! | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

The Lazy Girl's Guide to... Vanishing!

This post bought to you by Vanish

By now you should well and truly know that I am a lazy girl. Well, if you're a regular reader you would know. I hate cleaning. I hate shopping (unless it's online of course!). I hate cooking. And I really hate laundry!
My lounge room as it looked at exactly 11:01pm last night! #keepinitreal
And yes that is a potty you can see next to the coffee table!
When we moved in to our house we had no clothesline so we bought a couple of clothes horses and hung all of our washing on those. Then in August 2008 when we were away on our honeymoon, my parents came round and installed a clothesline on to the side of the house for us.

In the 5 years since we've had the clothesline I've used it about 5 times. Maybe once a year.

There's nothing wrong with the clothesline at all. It's really good, it's in the perfect place to get sun all day and it's the perfect height for me. It's just the extra effort it takes to get the clothes in to a washing basket and walk over there to hang them, usually through waist-high grass that gets me (waist-high may be a slight exaggeration but I am married to a lazy boy). The worst part however is that when I hang clothes on there I often forget about them. Because it's not in my line of sight from the kitchen window, and I get sidetracked very easily.
My drying station
The ultimate evidence of my lazy girl status can be found in the fact that I once hung a fitted sheet on the clothesline to dry and it didn't get taken off for about 3 months. And by then it was no good anymore and needed to be thrown away. In my defence, it did happen when Punky was a newborn and I was suffering from an extreme case of baby-brain but still! That really is almost beyond lazy, I do admit!

So now, even though we have a clothesline, the washing almost always is hung inside on the clothes horse. Or if it needs to dry quickly, it goes in the dryer. So our house constantly looks like a Chinese laundry. But that is not the end of my laundry laziness.
Clothes, clothes, everywhere!
I'm shit at actually folding and putting away said laundry. What about ironing I hear you ask?  Don't even go there. Clothes only get ironed in this house if they absolutely require it for the occasion (like say a wedding, funeral or baptism) and even then most wrinkles fall out of clothes after an hour or so of wear anyway! But the mountains of clean washing that requires folding and putting away is often taller than me.

So when it comes to actually doing the laundry, soaking, putting it in the machine, etc I need something that is quick, simple, easy to use and gives good results. That's where Vanish cleaning products come in. I've been using them for years. They are super simple and easy to use and haven't let me down yet. Especially with 2 kids who are World Champion pooers and spewers!

One of the piles of clean washing in my house, waiting to be folded. Yes, there is more than one!
My favourite Vanish Napi-San products are the spray and the power shot things that are the coolest shade of pink you ever did see. I actually feel like I am prettying up my wash when I drop one of those bitches in with the load. I also love the carpet foam but that has nothing to do with laundry...

When I need some heavy-duty stain removing muscle I have to go with the powder. I just dissolve some of that in the tub with hot-water and leave the poo clothes to soak overnight. Gets rid of those poo stains nicely and it's also proven more than up to the task of removing ink and blood stains from Dave's work uniforms.
I could have taken a really nice, styled product picture, but in the interests of keeping it real I have photographed the laundry products in their natural environment... my un-finished 'laundry-in-the-garage'. Note that I'm so lazy I couldn't even be bothered throwing out the empties!
Now the carpet foam. It's great for cleaning spew and where it really paid for itself was after Dave's 30th birthday blow-out in 2010. Imagine a lot of drunk adults, one of whom had consumed way too much red wine, and then passed out in the spare room. The next morning, while still drunk from the tequila shots I may or may not have consumed at 6 in the morning, I walked in to the spare room after everyone had left, to be greeted by what looked like a murder scene. Only it wasn't blood.

Said red wine consumer had done an epic spew through the night, all over the carpet beside the bed. And when I say epic, I mean epic. I've never seen such a large area of vomit, and so red! It explained why she had apologised so profusely to me as she was leaving, in between spewing in to a plastic bag. She was dusty to say the least.

In my still drunken state I just did not have the stomach to deal with that mess so I sprayed the shit out of it with the Vanish carpet foam, opened the window, shut the door and left it overnight for future, sober Kylez to deal with, pretty certain we'd have to actually replace the carpet, it was that bad! When I built up the courage to go in and vacuum the foam the next day it had removed all but a few spots. So I sprayed it again, left it another night and after the second vacuum the stains and the smell were gone. Damn you Vanish, you cheated me out of an excuse for new carpet!

It's weird to think that room is now the home of a newborn. My how things can change in a few short years!
The only difference is the furniture. It's just as messy now as it was before we cleaned all the junk out!
And wouldn't you know it, there's some more clean clothes on the bed just waiting to be folded and put away!
So to make a really long story short (too late!), anything that saves me time and effort when it comes to any kind of cleaning task, especially the laundry or dealing with red-wine induced voms while drunk and/or hung-over, gets my tick of approval. So the Vanish range of stain remover products certainly gets this lazy girls biggest tick!

Now if only it would actually vanish all my bloody housework without me having to actually do anything that would be awesome!

And now that I've aired my (dirty) laundry, literally, it's time for you to fess up. What's the worst thing you've neglected when it comes to housework and laziness?

Disclaimer: I was sent some Vanish Napi-San stain remover laundry powder & spray to use {but not the power shots :-( } and I was paid to write this post. However this did not sway the opinions I've expressed as I've been using Vanish products for years {and loving them!}, long before I ever thought someone would pay me to blog about them! You can read my disclosure & PR policy here.


  1. Love a keeping it real post!! I hate getting the washing in off the line and putting it away, we live out of baskets!! Just this morning I got into trouble for there not being any clean socks or singlets. There are just in the dryer!!

  2. I spot mop my floor between mops. Between mops could last years though... ahem.
    Laundry actually doesn't bother me. Folding, putting away, everything, all good. It's everything else that sucks.

  3. I'm horribly with laundry too!! Dumping them in the washing machine is easy but it's the hanging and folding that I really loathe.. I barely iron too haha although it's gotten much better since we bought a steam iron. No need to bother with the heavy ironing boards. When we were students, hubs and I used to place heavy books on really wrinkled t-shirts and leave overnight to "iron" them out hahahah

    Ai @

  4. I don't iron either. Hubby does his own. My big hate is cleaning the bathroom. Sometimes my kids do their own washing...but they never hang. Love your brutal honesty!

  5. Ironing what is that never ever Iron do not even own an iron. Im lazing at cleaning the bathrooms especially now with two kids. Thanks for this now I know at least I am not the only one who lives in mess.

  6. I need some of that Vanish stuff for my boys school shirts. They are white. WHITE. Or supposed to be. Who was the genius who came up with that idea for a school uniform? On a side note, I'm loving those archways in your house. Nobody has those anymore. And I have no idea why this suddenly went into italics. I wasn't trying to shout at you, I promise! Sorry!

  7. Okay, it's not in italics anymore. Ignore me. Disqus is weird. Or I'm weird. One or the other. Ahem.

  8. Windows. We have so many window, and beautiful glass bifold doors. They are accessorised with finger and and prints, plus muddy paw prints and other general dirt and gross. Such a shame... I wish they would glisten...

  9. I hate hanging the laundry out/bringing it in - my husband will often hang it out in the morning before he goes to work & when he asks if I've bought it in I will pretend I didn't know it was there...

  10. Oh man you make me feel do much better about life in general! I've met a kindred spirit, but one brave enough to fess up to reality.

    I also am averse to the clothesline. I know it's bad, but once I go out there, clear dog dumps underneath then get rid of cobwebs and dirt off the line- well who could be arsed hanging stuff after that? #teamIBOT

  11. I am a bit of a lazy girl too (I also have empty washing containers on my machine), but one thing I can't cope with is clothes horses in the house. We have it a lot in the wet season, and it drives me bonkers! Which would probably make my mother in law so proud, that at least something does ;)
    The plus side though, and this is where I do think you are on to something, is a house full of freshly washed clothes always smells nice and clean :)

  12. Oh I have been meaning to try out those Power Shots! Clothes line is really a thing of the past here too - dryer or hung over everything and anything in the house - most often the stairs!

  13. Kylie you just made me feel good about my floors being dirty! I love Vanish too especially when you have kids. I need to get some of that carpet foam. It sounds awesome!

  14. You'll hate me but I'm a washer and line and then iron kind of girl. That doesn't mean I don't have a couple of closets that you would not DARE open for fear of being killed by the avalance of stuff shoved in there.

  15. This post makes me feel so much better about my drying room! Living in Melbourne means the days that you can actually hang washing outside to dry are a bit limited!!!! xx

  16. You are classic! I really hate clothes racks because they fall over so easily, but that's probably because I have cheap shitty ones. I'm too tight to buy that pink nappy san, I get the homebrand shit and then wonder why it doesn't work :( I am also married to a lazy boy and while I do keep up with washing etc I never iron and if you looked in my cupboard wardrobes you will find all the stuff I can't be bothered sorting through chucked in there. So outwardly I appear very tidy, but really I'm not :) xxx

  17. I have a pretty tidy house but I don't even own an iron!

  18. My current load of washing has been on the line for about two weeks..and I often just buy new clothes rather than washing again. It rained for about 5 minutes today, so of course the clothes had to stay there for one more day ;)

  19. And I thought I was messy (although I have to say, it all looks clean enough) - I love hanging clothes on the line but this time of year my spare room turns into a laundry room and I never iron - school shirts get hung on hangers straight from the washing machine and they look fine.

  20. I too am a lazy girl married to a lazy guy...glad we are not alone xx

  21. Gawd, I hate laundry too! The worst... with a newborn it seems to just be constant. I have considered hiring someone just to do the laundry. I usually have great fort like mounds of dry clothes requiring attention hanging around for days before I begrudgingly put them away. I however love my clothes line as I hate clutter in the house (which totally contradicts what I just said about the clothes piles). My head always feels cluttered when my spaces are too cluttered. This mother gig is detrimental to my head feeling sane....

  22. I hate laundry so much too. You've managed to remind me there are towels on our 'line' outside - it's so small that I rarely bother to use it and when I do I just forget about whatever's out there. o would absolutely hire someone to take care of the washing, hanging, bringing in, folding and putting away.


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