I am so pleased to have a new-to-me blogger guest posting today for Confessions of a New Mum. Mez blogs over at Listen Sookie and I have to say, I was stoked when she emailed and asked if she could write a Confessions post because it led me to her blog and I can't believe I haven't found her earlier! Mez has written an awesome post about the struggle of being a new, first-time Mum and can I just say, I relate to everything she has written. In fact, I could have written this post myself! So here it is...
I wasn’t burping her.
For the first few weeks of Addison’s life I somehow forgot that babies need burping before, during, after a feed. I’ve been around babies my whole life for heaven’s sake, I knew this. But for whatever reason I forgot or was so damn sleep deprived and shocked, my brain didn’t compute this little fact. And so for a while I had no idea why my baby girl would just cry and cry after a feed, or stop mid feed and refuse any more. I toyed with giving up, I consulted a lactation consultant, I read books, I drove myself fecking crazy researching via the internet. And it wasn’t until my Mum reminded me about the burping that it clicked. Suddenly she started feeding with an unseen fury, and has been ever since.
I was desperately trying to regain a sense of control early on. I read books, I begged for advice, I drove myself spare searching for the correct way of doing things. When, really there is NO correct way. No perfect way, no right way. Schedules, clock watching; my classroom type routines weren’t gonna fly and I struggled, oh boy did I struggle to let go. I turned to online shopping to try and get some normalcy. It helped a little. I fantasised about going to the shops for the day alone. Or just lying on the couch. I wasn’t depressed. I was simply adjusting. The best advice was that given to me by my Mum, “This too shall pass, you will get through this and it will get easier.” And I now know, had I just of let myself relax a bit; the adjustment would have been faster. (And much easier on my wallet, oops.)
Hindsight, hey? That tricky little bugger. Next time I will treat the first 12 weeks as the ‘4th Trimester’. No attempting schedules, no worrying about sleeping on me instead of in the cot, or fitting tummy time in or meeting weight goals from the blue book. Blah, blah, blah. No. I’ll listen to my baby, instead of other people who tell me what I ‘should’ be doing. The same way after about 6 weeks I started to listen to Addison. Once I let all the external crap go, things got a lot easier, a lot faster.
I don’t think anyone really knows what they’re doing as a parent. We’re all just doing the best we can; doing the best for our little ones. And if someone tells you they do know it all, well, tell them where to go because they’re lying. I knew I’d hit the jackpot when the Mums in my Mother’s Group all started asking and sharing and being honest; really honest about the truths of parenting. Because believe me, there are many women who will have you believe it is all perfect for them. And I guess if it truly is seamless and easy and perfect for you, then lucky you! But there is no shame in being honest and admitting it’s hard work. Becoming a mother to Addison is the best thing I have ever done, hands down. I am smitten by her. Some days I love her so much I can’t stand it. Alongside the hard times are the amazing ones and believe me, there are plenty! And every day I get a little bit better at this parenting gig, and learn a little more about her and myself, too. I may not be the same Mez I was pre-Addie but that’s ok because I think the Mez I am now is stronger, more relaxed and so grateful for what I have.
My advice for new parents if asked? Don’t buy those stupid nappy disposal bins, Dr Google is the devil and for Christ’s sake, burp the baby.
Confessions of a New Mum Part Two - Stitched Up
Confessions of a New Mum Part Three - The Part-time SAHM
Confessions of a New Mum Part Four - Mum Appreciation
Confessions of a New Mum Part Five - Losing My Confidence
Confessions of a New Mum - Kelly from Handmade Tears and Triumphs (Guest Post)
Confessions of a New Mum - Bron from Big Brother, Little Sister & the Baby (Guest Post)
Confessions of a New Mum - Jenn from Mountains & Musings (Guest Post)