Patience is a Virtue. So Here's to a Virtuous 2013 | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Tuesday, 1 January 2013

Patience is a Virtue. So Here's to a Virtuous 2013

Patience is apparently a virtue. But I wouldn't know. I don't have any. Not anymore.

I have never been a very patient person. I've always been quick to temper, and I get frustrated with things and people, especially stupid people, very quickly.

I always knew this was going to be a problem when it came to having kids, and in the final months of being pregnant with Punky it was something I was consciously working on.

The first 6-8 months of Punky's life I continued to work on this and I found it easy to have patience with her. How could I get frustrated or angry with this sweet, little, defenceless baby I'd created?

I got complacent about practising my patience however. And these last few months, as Punky has grown older and more independent, my patience has really been put to the test.

A test I think I'm failing. I'm finding this stage of Punky's development the most amazing, but also the most challenging.

It's such a privilege to be able to see her learning new things every day, to be able to almost see the cogs turning as she figures out how things work and how to do things, as she understands more and more of what we say to her.

But with these developments come the challenges. The fierce independent streak that no doubt comes directly from me. She wants to do everything by herself. She wants to walk and run wherever she pleases, not where I need or want her to go. She wants to touch and explore everything around her, even if its dangerous, a word she has no comprehension of. She does not want to be helped, she does not want to be shown, she wants to do it all herself, and when she can't? The tantrums and her own lack of patience become sorely evident.

She is becoming much more like me than I ever thought she would and its not a great thing. I know she's only 13 months old, but I see myself in the way she gets frustrated, loses patience so quickly. I know, well at least I hope, that as she gets older she will develop more patience, but I worry that this might not be the case for her like it is with other kids. And I worry that it's my fault.

I'm not usually one to make New Years resolutions. I've never seen the point and never been able to keep the few that I have beyond a few days in to the new year.

But this year, in 2013, my resolution is to work on my patience, to model it to my daughter. To keep my quick temper and frustrations in check, in the hope that Punky might learn good things from my example and not bad things.

I not only want to demonstrate more patience with her, but more patience with Dave and the things that I do around the house. She is watching me and soaking up everything she sees like a sponge and I want her to see and learn good things from me, not bad tempers, impatience or any of my other bad traits.

That's my resolution for the year. So here's to a hopefully virtuous 2013, one I can be proud of, and one in which some day, my daughter can be proud of me too.

Do you struggle to find your patience like me? Are you worried about the bad things your kids might be learning from you? Do you have any strategies I can use to help me in my quest for patience? I'd love to hear your tips!

And because its Tuesday I'm blogging. Because the awesome Jess knows that it's essential to blog on Tuesdays and I hope you have too! I'm also very excited to be a brand new member of Team IBOT in 2013 and can't wait to get around to all your awesome blogs and get commenting! Happy New Year and Happy IBOT!

38 comments:

  1. I do worry about the things the girls are learning from me. Hopefully, they are noticing the good things too. I don't have a lot of patience either but I am sure you are doing a wonderful job. Rachel xx

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  2. I need more patience too, I am very conscious of how I behave in front of the boys, but sometimes I just cant help but be annoyed at yet another spill, or lose my patience with them for not listening to me. This parenting thing is rough.

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  3. I am a massive struggler of patience... I need more.. to the point my hubby was going to name our son patience if he turned out to be a girl!!! I want it all now.. I need it all now.. and tomorrow or 2 hours can not wait..


    This year however I am working on the word 'encourage'.

    #teamIBOT was here :)

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  4. Firstly congrats on team IBOT. Secondly, having more patience is exactly what I'm planning to pursue this year. My 16 month is most challenging as into everything also and wants to what his 3 year old brother does, who is frustrating in his own way because is so sensitive, the poor wee mite. Then I have No.1 who is a chatterbox. I'm working so hard on being patient because like you a want to be a good role model for my children. Have a great day! Emily @ http://havealaughonme.wordpress.com/

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  5. littlebirdlittlebee1 January 2013 at 11:45

    Children do teach you patience. I try not to react immediately. Count to 10 before you react - it does help! Happy new year!

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  6. I'm just like you, I'm not naturally patient but trying to be more so. I found that allowing myself a LOT more time to be places took the pressure off a bit as I was able to stop battling with G over everything and let her do things at her own pace.
    Happy new year to you love xx

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  7. Patience isn't usually easy for me either and something I have to make a connected effort with. Here's to a wonderful 2013 and welcome to #teamIBOT :)

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  8. I myself tackled paitence last year and its an ever evolving goal with children! All the best for 2013!!!

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  9. Oh I struggle with this, I swear I thought parenting would be a lot more awesome days in the sun doing craft and a lot less tears and tantrums (mostly mine). Patience is a big one, it's so easy to forget too,

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  10. Funnily I have all the patients in the world for other peoples kids but for my own kids I don't. The older they get the less patient I get. It is a bad habit that I need to work on.

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  11. I've already failed at this with J! His most commonly used phrase is "This is taking so long!" I wish I had the awareness that you have, but I think its too late for me!

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  12. I struggle with this. I didn't with the first, but with the second I find some days extremely trying on my patience. The best way to keep my cool is to get the kids outside. They happiest and easiest to deal with when they're busy outside riding their bikes, swimming or playing with their trucks. Good luck with your resolution :)

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  13. I feel you, I am dealing with the same independent/adventurous stage of toddlerhood right now, and you are right, it is soooo challenging. I have to keep reminding myself he is not wild or crazy, he's just curious and wants to figure out the world around him. Plus really energetic, but I think I would be worried if he wasn't energetic. The best thing I find to help my patience is to get out of the house and go do something fun, like just let him run at the park!!

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  14. Without a doubt this is the biggest challenge in parenthood. I challenge you to find a parent who DOESN'T feel this way! Just wait until she's 4.5, talking incessently, and is really cranky when she doesn't get what she wants! My son is 4.5 and OMG it is both amazing and hair-pulling at the same time! He says the funniest and cleverest things, but he acts out when something doesn't go exactly as he wants or thinks it should. He even has some of my characteristics when this happens. ooooh it is frustrating, scary and also a little funny! I think most of the time we forget he's only 4 and a half and expect him to act 34 and a half. Just be gentle with you both! Cut yourself some slack (and her! I know, easier said than done!)

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  15. Lara at This Charming Mum1 January 2013 at 22:09

    That's a great resolution Kylie. I hate it when I see my kids getting frustrated with a game or with each other - huffing and puffing, hands on hips, gritted teeth - and knowing they are behaving exactly the way I do when I lose patience with them! Congrats on your appointment to Team IBOT and happy new year :)

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  16. I actually have a draft blog post called "If patience is a virtue, why don't I have any?" - I SO get this. I have had to develop patience for the special needs of my kids, but otherwise, there is pretty much none to spare. I too am hoping to work on my patience (or lack thereof!) during 2013. Congrats too on your new role with Team IBOT!

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  17. Congrats on joining Team IBOT! And good luck with your goal ... never easy ... but worth it for the sake of your munchkin :-)

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  18. This rings so true for me. My son is 3.5yrs and he definitely has my lack of patience and quick temper. I try to take a step back, take a deep breath and reassess the situation but some days after a long and trying day it can be hard. I do think thought that lack of patience comes with the territory of being a toddler. They have all of this independence bubbling inside but they just can't do it all.

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  19. My patience varies depending on the situation and a whole range of other things. There are certainly times I need more of it though. Wishing you all the best for the new year.

    Congratulations and welcome to #teamIBOT

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  20. It's weird how some things can get me so worked up but other things I can have all the patience in the world for. And it's not sally the things I expect!


    Very excited to be part of the team!

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  21. It must be so hard to be a toddler I often think. So many things to do and learn but they just can't quite do it all yet.

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  22. Thanks Janet! It will definitely be worth the struggle in the long run, I'm sure of it!

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  23. Thanks Kirsty. That is an excellent name for a blog post! It's definitely the thing I've found hardest since becoming a Mum, that's for sure!

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  24. Thanks Lara! Its amazing how much they pick up from us without us even realising isn't it. Amazing and not just a little bit scary!

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  25. The park is definitely a life saver. I've been telling Dave we need to do a bit of work on the backyard so she can go outside and have a play when she is starting to get a bit of cabin fever because she loves to be out there but isn't always happy to come in when I need to go to the bathroom or get dinner on!

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  26. Yep, outside is definitely the go. We got Mia a trike for Christmas and so far she loves it. Looking forward to when she can actually peddle herself around on it too!

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  27. I am the same! Absolute patience for other kids (and husbands!) but for Mia (and my own husband), not so much!

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  28. Haha, yep, it certainly isn't all rainbows and sunshine that's for sure.

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  29. Thanks Taraleigh, it certainly is an evolving goal, one I'm not sure I'll ever master but will always try to!

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  30. That's a great idea! I am thinking taking a moment to just breathe is another strategy to add to my arsenal!

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  31. Thanks Emily!


    I can't imagine what my patience will be like when I have more than one, that's why I figure I should start working on it now!

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  32. I am the same Yvette, I must have it all now! Once an idea is in my head I must do it/have it/ try it. Encourage is a good word. Look forward to hearing about how you go.

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  33. It certainly can be rough. I said to Dave yesterday, she is understanding so many words now but despite the fact that she knows full well what no or stop means she chooses to ignore them and continue what she is doing! Cheeky bugger!

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  34. I do hope Mia picks up some of my good habits and not just the bad ones. The independence is certainly one thing that is a double-edged sword!

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  35. You know being aware of it and wanting to get better is a huge thing, and I think that already puts you ahead. She might struggle with it, but if she can see you get better, it will give her a huge heads up.


    And for what it's worth, stupid people annoy me too :)

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  36. Sounds like a good resolution! I hope you're successful. :-)

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  37. We are so much alike (and apparently so are our children!).
    It took us a long time to get this entrenched in our loss of patience, so I think we need to cut ourselves some slack and just keep trying :)

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  38. I struggle with patience too... which isn't great when you are a mum or a teacher and I am both!


    Having laid it out here in black and white, it will surely make it easier to remember to keep working on it.


    Good on your for thinking ahead and preparing your little one for life.


    From B from #teamibot - how cool that we are on this team together!

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