Don't Sweat the Big Stuff

Some people say 'don't sweat the small stuff'. What a lot of those people imply when saying this is that we shouldn't 'sweat' or worry about the small stuff, but instead should worry about the big stuff. I assume that the people who imply this haven't read the book either (I haven't but I know the book is not really implying this) and so I am going to run with this oft-quoted meaning of the phrase.

What these people think we should be sweating about is a mystery to me but I think 'they' are wrong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

Why do I think these people are wrong? Allow me to tell you.

There are some small things in life that really shit me and get on my goat...

Like Dave leaving a dirty bowl or dish sitting in the sink, directly under the tap. Man that shits me! Seriously, if you're not gonna put the fricking bowl in the dishwasher then at least move it out of the way of the tap, so I can rinse something or get a glass of water without having to move your dirty dish out of the way and get manky dirty-dish-water all over my fingers when I move it. And for the love of God, please don't leave one on either side of the sink, not even giving me the option of using the second side of the sink! Just stop it!...

Like people leaving one square of toilet paper hanging over the roll in a shared bathroom. Just use that last square and change that mother-flippin' roll, for Pete's sake! No-one has ever sustained brain-damage from changing an empty toilet roll. And if they have? Well, I suspect they may have already had some form of brain damage to begin with!...

Like really out of date advertising on the back of buses. Sitting in traffic is boring enough without having to see crappy old advertisements for The X Factor series that finished 4 frigging months ago. Update that shit bitches!...

Like cockroaches. Seriously, why the fuck has someone not figured out a way to eradicate those little shits yet? Why!!!...
{Image Source}
Like people that drive along doing 70km/h in an 80 zone, and then, when the speed limit drops to 60km/h, CONTINUE TO DRIVE AT 70 FUCKING KMS AN HOUR! What. the Fuck. is with that!!! (Can you tell this one really pisses me off?!). Seriously sunshine, if you don't do the fecking speed limit when it's 80 then you sure as heck better do the speed limit when its 60 and don't fucking speed! 70km/h is not some magical cover-all speed to be used anywhere from school zones to motorways. Don't do it. Just don't!

I sweat this stuff because its fun to complain about, I feel much better when I have a little rant about it to Dave or you on the interwebs or facebook, and it's something we can all relate to.

In the end, the small stuff that we rant and swear about has an edge of humour to it. We can make fun of this crap and feel a little better getting our frustrations out there, knowing that we are not alone in our loathing of cockroaches and old bus advertising.

But the big stuff? Sometimes you can't sweat it. Shouldn't sweat it. Sometimes it's just a better idea, both mentally and emotionally, to just let it go.

Like that fucker, cancer. That evil bitch that took my Grandma. Took my Dad's friend. Took my friends father. Tried to take my cousin and tried to take my Dad. And is currently in the process of taking my friends Dad, my Aunty, my Uncle, and countless other people that undoubtedly you all know.

When I think about the amount of people that are affected by this insidious disease it does my head in. It breaks my heart in to a million tiny pieces and makes me weep for the pain, suffering and heartache that millions of people feel at the hands of cancer.

So I can't sweat it. I can't scream, yell or rant at anyone about it. I can't find anything humourous in it. So I don't sweat it. I support the people I know who are affected by it. And I donate as much money as I can to cancer research in the hope that one day no-one will have to sweat it and we can be rid of this bitch.


I wrote this post last week before the shooting that happened in the US last Friday. That terrible, terrible tragedy is another thing that I just can't sweat. I spent all weekend thinking about those poor children. Those poor parents. Those poor surviving children who now have to deal with what they witnessed that day, the terror they felt. Those poor parents of the surviving children, who have to try and explain something that no parent should ever have to.

Things like this do my head in. I just can't understand how another human being can be so cruel to a fellow human being, let alone a child. A child. A sweet, innocent child. I couldn't help but dwell on the senselessness of it all weekend. As I think about the horror those children must have felt in their last seconds on earth, my heart breaks into a million pieces and I get so angry that someone could do this. I get so angry that someone must have had such a shitty life that they were driven to do this.

But eventually I have to let it go. I have to stop thinking about it, sweating it. Because if I didn't, it would pull me under.

There are many things that if I sweated them, and I thought about them and worried about them, they would pull me down in to a deep, dark, cesspit of horrible thoughts and emotions. So I do what I can, I donate money, food or time, I buy things to support the cause. I hug my little girl tighter, and make sure I make her days as happy as they can be. I make practical changes in my own life, like changing how I eat or spend my money, so that I can have a clearer conscious and be able to sweat the small stuff, knowing that in the grand scheme of life, the big stuff will one day, hopefully, be worked out, and the millions of people who don't have a choice but to sweat this big stuff everyday won't have to any more.

This may seem like denial, or a callous attitude, maybe an immature attitude to some, but it's how I deal. How I cope. I don't live in total denial, and I don't stick my head in the sand. But I do what I can and I have to know that to the best of my ability I've done what I could.

If I sweat the big stuff I'll go mad.So I sweat the small stuff, so I can get my rant on, blow off a little of the steam that the big stuff has built-up within me, and swear a little (or a lot!) in the process.

I don't sweat the big stuff, so I can keep my heart intact.

On this last #IBOT I want to wish you all have a very Merry Christmas and a super Happy New Year. I hope and pray that you aren't having to sweat big stuff in your life right now, and if you are? My wish is that 2013 brings you a break from the big stuff, a chance to relax, have some happiness, and maybe, just maybe, have a day where the worst thing you have to worry about is dirty dishes in the sink and old advertising on the back of buses.

Linking this post up, as I do almost every Tuesday (my absence last week was unavoidable I'm sorry!) with the awesome Jess over at Essentially Jess for I Blog on Tuesday. Because blogging on Tuesday is da bomb and you should totally do it! Just not next week though, coz it's Christmas bitches! Christmas!


Unknown said…
In regard to the shooting in the US, I am the same, I have wept for those innocent lives, and their families, and the heroes. But I can't keep thinking about it, I am avoiding news sites and newspapers. It does my head in too, it would drag me down somewhere my kids don't need me to go.

I am the same with other news stories of tragedy's that happen to children, the accidental drowning, the starving, the fires, the accidental hanging and car accidents. Those things stay with me forever, and I have a hard time shutting those thoughts down.

Amy xxoo said…
I am trying to avoid writing about Sandy Hook because as a mother I just cant process that right now. I was watching the news while in was breastfeeding Tully and burst into tears, and I'm just not willing to do that again for another day or two. So instead I'm doing fun memes and being all sunshiny, and focusing on what makes me happy, not devastated....
Rhianna said…
There is a lot that I just block out and don't bother thinking about because my head may just implode otherwise. I like your theory behind this one. May you have a wonderful Christmas and New Year, filled with fairy wishes and butterfly kisses

Lydia C. Lee said…
There is a saying along the lines of Holding onto anger is like drinking a cup of poison and expecting the other person to die. It's a little like that.
As for the shooting, I'm like you Amy, trying to avoid thinking about it as it's too hard to process. I'm at a loss for words. I will say I'm disappointed with the media for (a) interviewing kids and (b) photographing people in their grief.
Roslyn said…
Kylie I know what you mean about stopping yourself thinking about it, because other wise it would pull you under. I've put myself on a self imposed media ban after the US shooting. I was glued to the media in September during the Jill Meagher disappearance/murder case and it just affected me too much. Sleepless nights, fear. It didn't help that it occurred in a neighbourhood very close to mine. But sometimes you have to protect yourself. I acknowledge and mourn those poor people but it will not help them or me to watch every second of coverage about it. And I don't want my 4yo to see it either.

On a cheerier note, wishing you a very Merry Christmas x
EssentiallyJess said…
Yep, I get this. Senseless tragedy is awful, but we often cant do much about it. We can change the fate of dishes in the sink though ;)
Redcliffe Style said…
Great post Kylie! I completely understand, when it's too big and bad, I have to let it go or it will consume me. Rachel xx
Ai Sakura said…
The post brought this prayer to mind,

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference

Love this post Kylez. Wish for you and your family a very Merry Christmas too!

Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Anonymous said…
I love a good rant! I love a good bitch session! I agree with everything you said here.
Let's hope Barack can do something to stop the senseless shootings over in the US. That in our lifetime we see a breakthrough for cancer. That we start to see a change in the world that is for the better, rather than the worse.
Becc via #ibot
My problem is I sweat all the small stuff and my blood pressure goes through the roof. But probably like you say, as a distraction from sweating the big stuff. Lately I've just been sweating everything!! I need a break!!
Mandie said…
I think you have said it all - you allow yourself to sweat the big and the small stuff, sit with the tragedy, happiness, uncomfortableness and then let it go when it has to go, for whatever reason that may be.
It's a coping mechanism. I think we all need let go before it consumes us sometimes.
Great post.
I am so guilty of over-thinking the small stuff.. and blocking out the big stuff.. I'm looking forward to going away and relaxing for a week over Christmas and just thinking about my family. Merry Christmas :)
Catherine Rodie said…
This reminded me of a chapter from Steve Covey's book The 7 habits of highly effective people. Do you know it? there is a chapter on the circle of influence and how you shouldn't worry about things that are outside your control. Check it out if you haven't come across it xx
Anonymous said…
when a country is in one war after another, when one of its leaders says it is ok for its soldiers to kill children a few weeks ago, when a secretary of state said that it was ok if 50,000 children died in iraq, one should not wonder why this does not translate to dying in schools. i firmly believe that killing dulls some minds to pain. constant killing outside of ones borders is killing but that is the small stuff i suppose that one should not sweat about.
Kel said…
Seriously, the same amount of effort is required to put the dish in the dishwasher, rather than the sink. Just bend, open, place, close. Done. Too easy. Grrrr.
I had to stop reading about the massacre because it was just eating me up. Those poor children. Those poor parents. Those poor teachers. This world that we live in is a scary, scary place.
One Mother Hen said…
It shits me too when my hubby leaves stuff in the
I saw the school shooting on the news briefly and didn't revisited it again, anywhere. I spared myself, otherwise it would have consumed me, so senseless.
Great quipture... Sometimes it's the dishes in the sink that really matters
Grace said…
Your last IBOT post for the year is probably my most fave post of yours.
No matter how big or small, whatever shits us, after a good rant, we just gotta let it go x
Jay said…
My hubby doesn't leave dishes in the sink, but recyclables on the bench even when there is room in the bin. That gives me the shits.

Worrying changes nothing x
Anonymous said…
I always say to hubby that if I complain, it's a sign that everything is good. I think it's important to let things out. As for the big stuff, I agree with you, it's difficult to find the right words to describe our anger... I cried over last week-end tragedy, there are no words to describe this nightmare...
Anonymous said…
My favorite piece of advice this year is "if you can't change it, stop worrying about it". I've been trying to do that and it's made a made a big difference.

Merry Christmas beatch - thanks for being part of my II posse!
I get where you're coming from. There are some things we can't change, or are bigger than us. We have to find our own small way of dealing with them or helping where we can. Like hugging our kids x

Merry Christmas x
... and I hate it when my husband says "well if that's the worse thing that happens in your life...."
rhian @melbs said…
First time I have read your blog and totally understand what you mean. It is too hard to even compute these horrible things that take our loved ones from us, be it sensless shootings, or horrendous diseases. I would go mad just wondering the 'why' of it all. What is the purpose for it - too hard to think about.
Found you from IBOT.
Anonymous said…
You are a bloody legend, and I'm with you on everything - especially cockroaches, how the hell can they live without their heads for 30 days?!
Seriously though WTF is it with everyone and their inspirational words, sometimes it's nice to just have say to someone, 'let it all out and bitch away'.
It's the small stuff that has such an impact on our lives which is why we sweat it!
Unknown said…
"Like people that drive along doing 70km/h in an 80 zone, and then, when the speed limit drops to 60km/h, CONTINUE TO DRIVE AT 70 FUCKING KMS AN HOUR! "

OMG this annoys the crap out of me! Especially when they give you filthies for slowing down!

And yes, I agree with you. The big stuff doesn't change if you worry about it or not. :(
myshelomitashop said…
I hate cockroaches! Everytime I see one of those nasty little creature my killer instinct rises instantly and I will grab anything reachable and start banging it to that yucky little monster while screaming "You DEAD!..DEAD!!".. Oh well I am glad you mention it :)

I do feel sorry about the freaking incident too. It always breaks my heart when children are the victims. I am sending a lot of prayers for all the family that must lost their little sunshine due to this tragic event. RIP. :(

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