Empty Contradictions | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Empty Contradictions

I have so much swirling around in my head right now...
...but nothing to write about.
I feel so much excitement about the things going on in my life and my future...
...but so much terror and fear and uncertainty.
I want to laze around on the lounge all day, nap and doze and just generally do nothing...
...but I clean, and I mother, and I do everything that needs to be done.
I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed to have the friends and family that I have...
...but an incredible anxiety and loneliness that I just can't talk about or explain to them.
I project confidence and self esteem and loudness and an ability to talk till the cows come home...
...but inwardly I second-guess myself, don't rate myself, wish I could reign in my personality and keep my mouth shut.
I feel so full of happiness...
...but at the same time, empty.
I lack motivation and willpower when it comes to things in my life like weight loss, cleaning and budgeting...
...but when it comes to making sure I don't sink beneath the emotional waves, I have all the motivation and will power there is.


The name of my blog is A Study in Contradictions.
The story of my life is a study in contradictions.
I'm up and I'm down at the same time. An extroverted introvert. A mentally motivated, physically lazy bugger.
I'm looking up at myself looking down.

7 comments:

  1. I think, that it sounds like you are perfectly imperfect and all together very human! Much love xx

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  2. Thinking of you. I know pretty much exactly how you feel. xo

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  3. I think how you are feeling is the same as many women out there, I am one of them.
    Chin up, know that you are not alone. At some point in time we all feel this way. Hugs to you xoxo

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  4. I have so been there sister! But being able to acknowledge how your feeling, even to only yourself, is the first step to moving along...

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  5. You could be talking about me here! I just hope I can instil confidence in my children so they don't have all the self doubt I carry around with me.

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  6. You just described exactly how I feel...

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  7. Never ever ever reign that personality of yours in, my dear, the world would be far worse off without it. xx

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