Empty Contradictions | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Empty Contradictions

I have so much swirling around in my head right now...
...but nothing to write about.
I feel so much excitement about the things going on in my life and my future...
...but so much terror and fear and uncertainty.
I want to laze around on the lounge all day, nap and doze and just generally do nothing...
...but I clean, and I mother, and I do everything that needs to be done.
I feel so incredibly lucky and blessed to have the friends and family that I have...
...but an incredible anxiety and loneliness that I just can't talk about or explain to them.
I project confidence and self esteem and loudness and an ability to talk till the cows come home...
...but inwardly I second-guess myself, don't rate myself, wish I could reign in my personality and keep my mouth shut.
I feel so full of happiness...
...but at the same time, empty.
I lack motivation and willpower when it comes to things in my life like weight loss, cleaning and budgeting...
...but when it comes to making sure I don't sink beneath the emotional waves, I have all the motivation and will power there is.

The name of my blog is A Study in Contradictions.
The story of my life is a study in contradictions.
I'm up and I'm down at the same time. An extroverted introvert. A mentally motivated, physically lazy bugger.
I'm looking up at myself looking down.


  1. I think, that it sounds like you are perfectly imperfect and all together very human! Much love xx

  2. Thinking of you. I know pretty much exactly how you feel. xo

  3. I think how you are feeling is the same as many women out there, I am one of them.
    Chin up, know that you are not alone. At some point in time we all feel this way. Hugs to you xoxo

  4. I have so been there sister! But being able to acknowledge how your feeling, even to only yourself, is the first step to moving along...

  5. You could be talking about me here! I just hope I can instil confidence in my children so they don't have all the self doubt I carry around with me.

  6. You just described exactly how I feel...

  7. Never ever ever reign that personality of yours in, my dear, the world would be far worse off without it. xx


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