My Daughter Used to Love Me For My Boobs... she loves me for my cracking wit and sophisticated dress sense. Who am I kidding, I don't think she even loves me for my boobs anymore! Unless of course it's 4 o'clock in the morning. Ungrateful I tell ya!

Punky is a total Daddy's girl. 100 percent, unashamedly, a Daddy's girl. I know she loves me too, as much as a 10 month old can show love for someone other than reaching for a hug and covering you in slobber (liquid love), but I'm pretty sure she loves her Dad way more than she loves me.

Let's consider the evidence before us.

Exhibit One - When Dave gets home from work Punky is beside herself with joy to see him. Her smile lights up her face. Her arms reach towards him. She crawls at breakneck pace to get to him.
What Daddy & Daughter time looks like, all together now "Awwwwwww"

When I get home from work she looks at me and sooks. FFS!

Exhibit Two - When Dave feeds her dinner she laughs and smiles and chats away happily. She eats just about every mouthful.

When I feed her dinner she looks at me and sooks. FFS!

Exhibit Three - When Dave changes her nappy she laughs and smiles and is content to let Daddy do what he needs to do.

When I change her nappy she sooks. And squirms. FFS!

Exhibit Four - When Dave is hanging out with her she is happy and content. She plays nicely either by herself or with Dave.

When I am hanging out with her she looks at me and sooks. FFS!
On the left, we have me being bashed on the head with the dummy she refused to take and now uses as a chew toy
On the right, don't be fooled by the sweetness, that is the look of a child who is about to launch herself at my head, teeth bared!
To be fair, she doesn't sook all the time, but when she is with me she is more sooky than she is with anyone else. I don't know why. She will be happy as Larry all day when I am at work and she is being minded by whoever, but the minute I walk in the door it's like she knows she no longer has to be on her best behaviour and can sook as much as she wants. She saves the sooks for me!

Sidebar: who the fuck is Larry anyway and what makes him so damn happy?

This last week or so teething has been an absolute BIATCH and the sookiness from seperation anxiety has increased ten fold! Combine that with my own PMS and you have a very special kind of hell. One where Mummies go to burn for thinking horrible thoughts about their offspring, such as "I wish she would just Go the Fuck to Sleep" (hmmm, there's a book in that somewhere), "What the Fuck is wrong with you" and "Why do you keep farking whinging???WHY!!! Please stop before I pinch you and really give you something to whinge about! STOPPPPPPPPP!"

I feel so very bad for even thinking it, let alone saying it publicly on the interwebs, because I really do love my daughter dearly, and would never harm her or wish harm on her in any way, but there have been days lately where just the sound of her beginning to whinge makes me want to pop her outside to look at the birds and the planes so I can go lie down under a rock for the rest of the day.

As I type this Dave is feeding her dinner and in between each mouthful is the sound of sooking. If I didn't know that she had just devoured a ridiculous amount of mashed sweet potato, carrot and silverside I'd swear the child was sitting there protesting the lack of food and starving, such is the level of whinging going on!

Ok. So perhaps she does sook for Dave sometimes.

Seriously people, how I am I supposed to deal with the joys of the terrible twos if I can't handle the teething whinging? Most of the time I feel sorry for the poor little poppet, obviously these teeth are giving her hell and if it was me I would be in a foul mood both days as well, heaven knows I'm a bitch on wheels when it's that time of the month! But when I try to comfort her and all she does is just push me away as if to say "Get out of ma face woman!", well, I definitely feel unloved then!

I think it's rather ungrateful of her, what with the fact I gave up my body and my boobs for her. Although if I'm honest there wasn't that much to sacrifice, but still! You'd think a 10 month old could show a little more appreciation for a mother! Heaven help me in about 6-12 months time. If you come looking for me I'll be the woman crouched in the corner, rocking back and forth.

F. F. S!

Oh well, I suppose it's only fair. I did give my own mother hell growing up. She's loving this.
Yep. I bet this is exactly how my Mum is feeling right now!

So I'm left with only one thing to say...

...Fuck You Karma, you really are a bitch!

Just in case it wasn't obvious, this is a tongue in cheek post, I don't really expect my 10 month old child to be showing me gratitude. *raises eyebrow* Or do I?

And seriously, who the fuck is Larry?

Linking this post up for some awesome Friday ranting with Dear Baby G, the creator of the best named blog hop around!
Dear Baby G
I might also link this up for Grace's Flog Yo Blog Friday blog hop, coz I'm a whore like that and I want everyone to see my boobs blogs!
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Talia said…
Lol! I love this post. Have through these things a few times myself!!!
Parental Parody said…
Love it! Larry's identity will be one of the universe's unanswered questions until the end of time. While Larry is off somewhere crapping himself with glee.

I survived my first teething terrible two's by having Daycare deal with it a few days a week while I worked, which seemed enough of a 'break' to help me get through the rest of the days.

Then I had the twins and karma was a total and utter vindictive bitch to me too.

There's a reason I rate wine as highly as my family....
Unknown said…
Oh I'm with you! We have a little of this going on at our house at the moment too. HB came home from work last night and said 'what do you want to do with Maggie?' I said 'Please put her in the bin' x
Tam said…
Boys are even worse. Once the boobs are no longer the miraculous giver of delicious life-sustaining milk, they're out of here. It's all cars and mud and wrestling. Until it's boobs again. Not mine though, hopefully.
Anonymous said…
wasn't Larry the cucumber?
Catherine Rodie said…
My toddler G is turning in to a daddy's girl. I don't mind when it's 5am and she just calls "Daddy! Daddy!" until he goes to see her!
Jodi said…
This is my life too!! :( I must have been a shit of a kid, as my mum used to always say "I hope you have a daughter just like you!" I do have a daughter like me.......and yes, karma is a bitch! :( lol
Ai Sakura said…
Aww she's a real cutie!! :)
Feel the same with my girl sometimes too haha

Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Yvette Bowyer said…
oh!!! What a great FFS post!! LOVE IT!!

popping over from FYBF :)
Kylie Purtell said…
I think you may be right. He is definitely a veggietale of some description!
Me said…
LOL - this is so funny !!!! K used to think A was the best thing since sliced bread - then she hit about 14 or 15 and now at 20 she spends more time rolling her eyes at him and for the past couple of years, I am her new best parent !!!
We used to have a copper necklace (I know it sounds dangerous and cruel but it actually wasn't) and that worked a treat when she was teething. Having said that she only started teething when she was about 15 months - I was so worried she wasn't going to get teeth I took her to the dentist for him to reassure me that she would !!!! He said the longer they keep their baby teeth the better - I think she lost her last baby tooth at 14 (about the time her Dad started to really p*ss her off !!!)
Have the best day !
ann said…
Kids are so ungrateful!! If its any consilation my boys thing their dad is the best thing ever and it drives me nuts!!
Grace said…
I heard that children will play up to those who they feel most closest to and spend the most time with (i.e. usually their mothers).
My boys go nuts when their dad walk through the door after I've dealt the entire day of tantrums...FFS !
Unknown said…
sitting here nodding away! my girls are such daddy girls it shits me to no end!!!! im jealous. but hey we do the cooking showering poop-diapering etc so we get to!
I totally identify with this. My boys love their Daddy and are angelic in his presence (I console myself with the belief that they play up for those they are closest to, as Grace outlined previously). And although at times I get a little jealous, it's also a nice excuse to let Daddy to take over sometimes and give me a break :). It could be worse, she could dislike her Dad...
One Mother Hen said…
Totally relate, my 10 month olds whinging does my head in too, not to mention when the nearly 3 yr old chimes in too. It's a mum thing. At least your hubby feeds and nappy changes, mine is as useless as tits on a bull. It's hilarious though to see her head down, bum up, sprinting in her walker when her nanna walks in.

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