I'm Having a Baby!

So if the title didn't clue in you in, I'm pregnant. 11 weeks and 5 days pregnant if we want to be exact about it.

And I'm terrified.

I know it's silly and there is not really any big reason to be, but I just have this terrible fear that it's not going to work out and I will go to my OB appointment on Thursday afternoon to be told that I've miscarried.

I've had some spotting, nothing heavy, it's been quite light, with no cramps or anything like that, just the spotting. In week 6 for a few days, then again for 3 days at 9 weeks & 3 days and then a little on Sunday night just gone. Just the Sunday night.

I've googled bleeding and spotting in pregnancy and while everything I have read has, to some degree, made me feel a little better about it (some people are just 'bleeders' and it doesn't necessarily mean anything has gone wrong) it's still really hard not to worry. This is the first time I've been pregnant and so I have no experience to gauge any of this by. I'm trying to think positive.

I've already had one ultrasound, at about 7 and a half weeks, a dating scan, where everything looked perfectly normal and I even heard the heartbeat! Can I just say how amazing that was! Just WOW! I didn't know I could get so excited and overwhelmed over a 'sound'.

This is something I have wanted for so long and I never realised how a person could be both excited and terrified at the same time. It's a little overwhelming.

I've been feeling ok for the most part, though I've had some rough days where I've just felt absolutely rotten and spent most of the day dry-retching(sp?) and feeling absolutely crap. And I've been sooooo tired. I'd read about the tiredness but I had no idea just how tired I could be till it hit me. I've gone from bedtimes of about 1-2am most nights with about 6 hours sleep to sleeping for 12 hours at a time and still feeling like I could sleep some more.

I've been having some pretty vivid dreams too, and weird dreams! Some of them are so vivid I wake myself up by sitting bolt upright in bed, or even jumping out of bed and it takes me a minute to realise what's going on and where I am! Never had that before!

Before I had the dating scan I was having these horrible dreams of miscarriage, of waking up covered in blood or being at the ultrasound place and being told my uterus was filled with blood, and I would wake up almost in tears. And that all went fine, so as I said, I'm just trying to think positive.

Fingers crossed it all goes well on Thursday and I can hopefully start to relax just a little.
Find me here:


Cathie said…
oh my goodness Kylie!! yay!!!
don't be terrified, it'll be the most wonderfulest (is that a word) experience.
enjoy the ride. don't use Mr google too much & it will get better, dreams are normal like that. don't over analyse them though.
yay you!
I wish you a smooth pregnancy with lots of rest.
big hugs Kylie ♥
Kylie Purtell said…
Thanks Cathie. Staying away from google is exactly what my girlfriend K told me to do as soon as I told her. She's like "Google is our friend, but in pregnancy it becomes the enemy!" So true!
Amy xxoo said…
A big congrats to you Kylie - how exciting! It wasnt that long ago really when i was in your position, and yes i was a huge Google-r too. I'd stay away from generic Googling, but i do recommend www.babycentre.com.au ... it was a really helpful and (mostly) uplifting website where you can see, week-by-week, what is going on on the inside.
Also, i had a bleed at about 8 weeks which scared the sbsolute shit out of me ( just being honest ) and the doctor i saw said its normal for some women to have a "break through " bleed around the time their period would normally be due... i'm gona cross my fingers for you, and am so looking forward to sharing in your journey towards mummy-hood!
melissa said…
Congratulations! What lovely, lovely news. Best wishes for a smooth, enjoyable pregnancy.

I agree to stay away from google, though that's so hard. I drove myself crazy googling when I had some worries in early pregnancy.
Romina Garcia said…
Hooray!!! Congratulations!!
Time to stay away from Google now.
This is the most difficult time. The part where you worry the most. Although if you've had the scan and have already seen the heartbeat then that is a very positive sign.
I bled heavily with my first pregnancy. Nothing with the second and third, but this little girl that I'm currrently carrying gave me quite a scare. Keep positive and keep us updated. Congratulation again, very exciting x
Nicki said…
Congratulations again my friend. Everything will be fine, you will see. Try to relax ( easier said than done I know), stay positive and enjoy the ride!
Kakka said…
Congratulations and all the best for Thursday, being pregnant can be a scary thing, even more so now with social media and Dr Google and all that. Try to relax and go with the flow, I found that helped all those years ago when I was having my babies. xxx
Nitisha said…
Amazing news! I have the biggest smile. :)
Congratulations, and I hope you have a brilliantly happy pregnancy. :)
Adalita said…
Congratulations - I hope things go well, my thoughts are with you during this exciting and nervous time!
Anonymous said…
Congratulations!! We must be due at similar times. I'm 12 weeks. Look forward to following your journey. xx
Bel said…
CONGRATULATIONS! That is freaking awesome. Much love to you and your growing family! I look forward to your pregnancy blogging

Kylie Purtell said…
Thank you very much for all your kind words ladies. The whole thing has been a little overwhelming but I'm slowly starting to relax a bit and really look forward to what's to come.
Kellyansapansa said…
Oh wow, massive congratulations! That is so exciting and I can't wait to hear all about your pregnancy journey. xx

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