The most important words I say to my Husband {and it's not "I love you"} | Love | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

The most important words I say to my Husband {and it's not "I love you"} | Love

I'm no expert when it comes to relationships and psychology, but I have learned a thing or two in the fourteen years that Dave and I have been together.

When we first started dating I was 20 and he was 21. We've spent basically all of our adult lives together. There have been ups and there have been downs. There are times when we are so loved up it's sickening. And there are times when we can barely stand to be in the same bed together (can anyone say snoring and restless leg syndrome?!).

If there is one thing I have learnt in that time
it's that relationships take work. It's not enough just to love each other. You have to work at it. You have to understand that there are ebbs and flows, and some days are sunshine and roses and other days are shit sandwiches with extra peas (Gosh I hate peas!).

Our relationship has gone through a lot of changes over the years. From young and carefree 20-somethings with no responsibility to anyone but ourselves, partying all weekend long; to first-home buyers saving for our wedding and living like hermits; to the parents of two young children, barely managing to keep our heads above water some days.

We aren't the most romantic of couples. We don't tell each other "I love you" ten times a day. Sometimes we don't say it once a day. But I don't need to hear Dave say it to know that he feels it. He says it in everything that he does for me and the girls.

When he gets up early with them and lets me stay in bed. When he comes home from a 12 hour day at work and cooks me dinner. When he takes the girls outside to play so I can finish getting my work done. When he lets me put my legs on his lap while we are watching TV. When he sits and watches My Kitchen Rules with me, even though he's not a fan.

All of those things let me know he loves me and he cares for me. Which brings me to what I believe are the two most important words you can say to your partner.

Two tiny little words. Two syllables. 8 letters.

Thank You.

There's nothing worse than feeling unappreciated. Feeling unappreciated can cause all sorts of issues, the least of which is feeling taken for granted. When I say thank you to Dave it's because I want him to know that I appreciate him and everything he does. Whether it's his job/responsibility to do those things or not, saying thank you can go a very long way in a long-term relationship.

I don't need to be thanked for every thing I do for our family and neither does Dave. But saying thank you for those things is more than just words. It's feelings too. It's letting each other know that we appreciate the other. That we don't take each other for granted. It lets me know that he loves me and cares for me.
Dave & Kylez circa. 2003 - 2015

When I say thank you to Dave it's not even just about the task that I'm thanking him for. It's thanking him for being there. For noticing. Thanking him for being an amazing Father. Thanking him for loving me, even when I don't love myself. Especially when I don't love myself. I know this because it's what I feel when he says thank you to me.

Don't underestimate the power those two little words can have. Some days hearing those words can turn a shit sandwich with extra peas kinda day into a sunshine and roses kind of day.

When we say thank you to each other we're also saying "I love you", "I appreciate you" and "I don't know what I'd do without you".

Do you say "thank you" to your partner? Do you think it's as important as saying "I love you"?

Want more posts about love & relationships? Click below...
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