One Perfect Moment {Sleeping Beauty} | Life

One Perfect Moment is all about those moments, big or small, that make you wish they'd last forever. Those moments you want to stop in time, when everything feels perfect, even for just a split-second. Snapshots of the mind. Moments to treasure forever.

I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth before bed. She'd woken up three times already. Once for a drink of water. Once to go to the toilet. A third time because she was scared of the moth and was sure it had bitten her finger.

We've had a bit of a plague of moths the last week or two. Every year there is an explosion of the furry caterpillar population, and this inevitably leads a few weeks later to an influx of moths, everywhere. This year hasn't been any worse than others, but there is one big difference.

Punky is aware of them. And afraid of them.

It doesn't matter that they are relatively small, mostly only active at night, and positively can't hurt her. She fears them.

After she woke the third time in tears, scared that a moth was trying to get her, I stood beside her bed, smoothing her hair and telling her that there were no moths in her room. I reassured her that they couldn't get her, they couldn't bite. That I would not let a single moth get near her.

But it wasn't enough.

As I finished brushing my teeth I heard her screaming for me, shouting that she was scared and calling out "Mummy!".

I rushed from the bathroom in to the mostly dark house. She wasn't in her bed. She was in the pitch dark lounge room, searching for me. The absolute terror in her voice made me heart thump. I grabbed her up and held her tightly. She was shaking.

I knew there was no way she would get back in to her own bed after this. I asked her if she wanted to sleep in my room with me. She nodded with tear-filled eyes.

I set her up on Dave's side of the bed (he was on night shift) and got her tucked in. I told her I had to go and close the door to the bathroom and that I would be right back. She looked so frightened and small, laying there in my bed.

I quickly got rid of the couple of moths hanging out on the walls of the bathroom and then jumped in to bed with her. She had calmed down by this stage but she was still scared. She told me that the moth had bitten her finger and was trying to get her. I tried to explain that the moths were too little to bite her and they couldn't get her.  I promised her that I had gotten rid of them all. That I wouldn't let a single moth go anywhere near her.

When I turned off my bedside lamp she started panicking again because she couldn't see me. I told her I was there, rubbed her arm, and then got up and put on the hall light so she could see me lying beside her. I rubbed her back and tried to help her relax again.

She asked me if I could give her 'little tickles'. She loves it when I brush my fingers lightly up and down her arm. I lay beside her in the semi-dark, brushing my fingers on her baby-soft skin, listening to her breathing and fighting sleep. Every now and then she would open her eyes to make sure I was still there.

She's a restless sleeper at the best of times, and even in sleep she fidgets and tosses and turns. At around 5am I heard her roll off the bed (thank goodness I'd laid a bed of pillows beside the bed just in case) and she didn't even wake up. I got up and lifted her back in, tucked Blankey in beside her and crawled back over to my side.

I got about 3 hours of sleep on Saturday night. I've never been a big co-sleeper, even when the girls were little, but some nights, despite the tossing and turning, the little legs kicking and arms smacking me in the face, there's something comforting about it.

In the act of providing security for her, I find peace in myself.

The sleep deprivation is worth every second of it.


annstuck said…
You tell your story so beautifully.
I had a night on the lounge on Saturday with my littlest!! As much as I am sleep deprieved and sore from it I know it could always be the last time and so I don't really mind!!
I have a real perfect moment to share but ran out of time, next week for sure!!
They are the moments that bring it all home for me. We are the centre of their universe and they are at the centre of ours and we are their protectors and best friends. As tiring as those nights are.. I agree that they are worth the bags under our eyes. This morning I rolled over to realise we had a little person between us who has snuck in some time in the early hours. He does this often and he rarely wakes me when he does. As much as want him to sleep through more consistently in his own bed I kids love the surprise of realising he's in with us and snuggling up with him. He loves 'snuggles' Jx
writeofthemiddle said…
I had many nights light that with my kids when they were little. I remember my husband fretting over having them in our bed - worrying that it was a habit they would get in to. Well I can tell you - they are not still coming into our bed now! It is not worth worrying about. Do what you need to do to comfort your child and yourself and whatever allows everyone to get some sleep. They grow up so fast! :-)
I am gently working through sleep issues with both of my girls at the moment as I find firm approaches just don't work with them and only makes them more anxious and less willing to go to sleep. Sometimes it's frustrating but then I remind myself that they are only this little once and one day they won't want to crawl into bed with mummy anymore :( I have had many nights on the couch with at least one of my girls lately. One of the best things that helps get my girls off to sleep is playing kids relaxation meditations. I sit with them while they listen and usually within a few tracks they are off to sleep.
HandbagMafia said…
I have those moments a lot. If I have been working, Bennie misses me and sleeps curled against me. It's not hugely restful for me but I love it, too, because it's not forever. Usually she sleeps next to me on a camp bed but some nights she just needs a bit more closeness.
These moments are far and few between for me now with my girls getting older..although Miss G decided to sleepwalk the other night and though the lounge was the toilet...I caught her just in time.....
One day we will wish they would crawl in bed with us and they just won't! Lap it up while you can xo
Natalie @ Our Parallel Connect said…
When my kids were little, my favourite thing was when one of them would cuddle into me and fall asleep in my arms.. my absolute favourite.. now they are too big and would kill me.
Yes it really is, knowing they have peace of mind. Sleep Smeep! My kids go through phases of being scared of things. You're a good mumma x
Alicia-OneMotherHen said…
I am surprised sometimes at the small space I manage to sleep on when one of the girls climb in to our bed! Summer is very wary of the daddy long legs spiders at the holiday house at the moment. She won't go into the toilet on her own without freaking out.
Bec @ Wholly Listening said…
I've had a similar time with my girl tonight. She's still in her own bed right now, but I've stopped many times tonight to go in and lay next to her. It's meant frustrating, slow, writing, but it's also meant prescious moments stroking her hair and watching her relax as she hears my voice. Thanks for helping me to keep things in the right perspective.
Tash from Gift Grapevine said…
I love the way you told that story - I was hanging on every word waiting to find out what happened! As a mum you just know by the sound in her voice whether it is true terror or putting-it-on-to-delay-sleep terror. You handled it beautifully and these are the moments that Punky will remember. I hope you managed to catch up on some sleep though!
I did thankfully, Dave let me have a sleep-in and went to bed a little later the next day knowing I hadn't had much sleep. And it's funny how you can just tell exactly what is going on through the sound of their voice. I guess we pick up the skill when they are newborns and all we have to go on is subtle differences in their cries to know what they need.
It's hard sometimes isn't it, when all you want to do is get something finished, or even just sit on the lounge by yourself for 5 minutes of peace and you have to keep getting up to them. I just have to keep reminding myself that it won't last forever and one day I'll actually miss it.
It's funny the things they get scared of. Punky has never had a problem with any bugs until now, her favourite thing used to be bug hunting with her Daddy, but just lately she seems to have fears of all sorts of things and I'm hoping it's just a three year old stage.
Thanks Em. I figure I'll sleep when I'm dead! Lol!
Oh I absolutely love that too! I still rock Zee in my arms before putting her down in the cot, but she is getting so heavy now that I know those days are numbered. So I'm trying to savour it as much as possible.
Oh my gosh, I'm sorry but I had a little giggle at that! One of my younger sisters was a massive sleep walker when she was younger and some of the things she would do or say were hilarious!
I must admit that despite the lack of sleep & space there is just something so nice about having them all curled up in to you, isn't there?
How good is music for helping them to fall asleep. We have these toys, Violet & Scout, the girls have one each, and when you press one of their feet it plays bedtime music. Each girl has had theirs since they were born and we've played them the music before every sleep. Now, most nights, it's amazing to see how quickly they both start to relax as soon as the music starts.
They do grow up so fast, don't they. It's not fair. I just try to remind myself in the times I start to get frustrated that it won't last forever and one day I am going to miss it.
How good are sleepy snuggles with small people. They are the absolutely the cuddliest things there are!
I hate that feeling of knowing that the last time might happen without even realising. It's why I'm still rocking Zee in my arms every night before I put her to bed, even though she is getting way too big and heavy for it. I'm just so scared that every time I do it could be the last time and I know I will long for it when it's gone.
Tessa White said…
I can't stand co sleeping as my kids cuddle me and I get too hot but whenever asked I always say yes as I secretly love the cuddles and they are so special they over ride the sleep issue until later the next day :)
Oh those cuddles and the feeling of being needed so. Almost worth thanking those wretched moths for right? :) xx

Popular Posts