Fashion & Beauty Must Haves
5. Large Handbag
As a mother of small children, it's essential that I carry a large handbag. Now that the early newborn days are done and dusted, the last thing I want to be doing is dragging around the red nappy bag of style death!
No, for me, it has to be my large black handbag. Preferably the handbag has two sides, one for the kids stuff and one for the Mummy stuff. You'll usually find it filled with an assortment of hair elastics, hair clips, small plastic dinosaurs, squeezy pouches of pureed fruit and about a half-kilo of disintegrated chocolate & biscuit dust.
This last is an essential for the handbag, as desperate times call for desperate measures, and if I'm really in a pinch and the girls have already annihilated the ziplock bag filled with sultanas and other dried foodstuffs, then I just tell Punky to cup her hands together and I can manage to empty out enough of this dust to keep her happy for at least 30 secs.
Winning at Mothering am I!
There are only a few things that I always try to make sure I have time for in my beauty routine and mascara is one of them. It's amazing how a few coats of mascara can really distract people from the fact that your eyes are a lovely shade of pink and you are carrying around bags so dark people could be mistaken for thinking your eyebrows have taken up residence under your eyes!
Sometimes though, no amount of mascara is going to disguise the look of the chronically sleep-deprived. At times like these I like to challenge myself to see just how thick I can get that shit on my lashes. If nothing else, people will be so disconcerted by the spiders legs you have sticking out of your eyes they will avoid any eye contact at all.
Sometimes though, even a few spiders legs sticking from your eyes is not enough to scare people off from looking, and this is when you need the big guns. When first-time Mum's-to-be ask me for suggestions on must-haves as a new Mum I tell them one thing.
A good pair of sunglasses.
Not only do a good pair of (very dark) sunglasses come in handy for hiding the un-white whites of your sleep-deprived eyes, they are also exceptionally good at hiding other things.
Like the roll of your eyes when being offered completely unsolicited advice from perfect strangers about how you should or shouldn't be parenting your child. They are also handy for hiding the bug-out your eyes do when you are trying to control your temper in public just after your toddler has pulled an entire shelf of product on to the floor and then run away laughing like a child possessed.
Good sunglasses. Do not leave home without them. Even when it's raining. Trust me!
2. Hand sanitiser and moisturiser.
For me, these two go hand in hand. For some reason I seem exceptionally good at breeding children who can shit on command. I am yet to figure out what exactly that command is, but as far as I can figure out, two of the triggers appear to be the mere mention of bedtime and entering a shopping centre.
The main reason why I need the large handbag mentioned in point one is because I can't leave home without packing at least 1 nappy for each of the girls. Because the very moment I do, they will start brewing a number 3 of such epic proportions that even an extra nappy won't cut it, and we will be heading straight to the kids department for new duds.
Hand sanitiser is essential for this reason, as there is not always a tap and soap dispenser within easy reach of a poonami. And for the times when there is, the moisturiser needs to be applied afterwards. My little shit machines are so epic sometimes that I am washing my hands up to 40 times a day (when you take in to account my own toileting excursions and other shenanigans that result in hand-washing).
Some days my hands resemble those of a dehydrated 98-year-old man, so a good moisturiser is a non-negotiable.
1. Baby wipes
Seriously, even once my girls are past the stage of needing their nappies changed and hands wiped of weird brown substances from the park ground, I will still carry baby wipes. Those things are one of the best inventions every.
I won't say they are the best invention since sliced bread because let's face it: just about everything is a better invention than sliced bread. I mean come on, I may be lazy, but even I wouldn't have a problem with slicing my own bread! But I digress.
I try not to think too hard about what the wet stuff that actually makes the wipes wet is. I'm pretty sure that anything that can remove ink from walls so easily is probably not a good thing to be using on the sensitive skin of our kids, but whatevs. I also live in denial about the environmental impact as well because, damn, those things are just too handy and I don't think I can give them up anytime in the next 15 years!
So there you have it, my Top 5 Beauty & Fashion must haves since becoming a Mum. What's in your beauty arsenal? What can't you leave the house without? Anything I should add to my list?
P.S. I probably don't even need to add this, but just for disclosures sake, this is in no way a sponsored post. Come on, ain't nobody gonna pay me for beauty advice!
P.P.S Linking up for the Laugh Link and Mummy Mondays coz I is a Blog Whore!