You Are Such a Whore. A Blog Whore! | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

You Are Such a Whore. A Blog Whore!

My name is Kylie and I'm a Whore. A Blog Whore.

The problem started about 5 years ago when I discovered a little blog called Mamamia. It was written by a former magazine editor from her living room couch and I found it really interesting, the little snippets that she posted throughout the day.

From there I discovered that there was a whole host of people writing stuff on little websites called blogs and once I started reading them I couldn't stop. I was addicted. I would spend my lunch breaks and my free-time after work reading as many blogs as I could find. I would search them out, clicking from one blog-roll to the next, constantly on the search for my next hit.
The Babbling Bandit. Just one of my fave blogs

Some were funny, some were sad, some had awesome spelling and grammar, others not so much. But everyone was writing for themselves and nobody cared if people read or commented, they just wanted to get their thoughts down on the page (screen), record awesome things they found around the internet, practice their writing and use their brain for something other than mothering, or mindless office work.

People didn't care so much about the blogs that others read, or who read theirs, or who the 'big' bloggers were, people just read what they wanted to read and concentrated on tapping away on their keyboards, telling their own stories. Nobody cared if you liked this blog or you didn't like that blog and nobody felt any sense of entitlement that blogging or bloggers owed them something and that people should be tailoring their blogs and their writing to their specific tastes.
The Illiterate Infant. Another fave

95% of the worldwide blogosphere is still like this. It's still those ordinary people, tapping away on their keyboards, filling their spaces with the stuff they find interesting. It's only a small minority that seem to have a problem with this and I suppose in the end I shouldn't really worry about that minority.

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There are many definitions of what a 'blog' is. The word blog is actually an abbreviation of weblog, and I personally relate most to Bloggers own definition of what a blog is (the bold emphasis is my own)...


A blog is a personal diary. A daily pulpit. A collaborative space. A political soapbox. A breaking-news outlet. A collection of links. Your own private thoughts. Memos to the world.
Your blog is whatever you want it to be. There are millions of them, in all shapes and sizes, and there are no real rules.
In simple terms, a blog is a website, where you write stuff on an ongoing basis. New stuff shows up at the top, so your visitors can read what's new. Then they comment on it or link to it or email you. Or not.

After becoming immersed in the world of blogging I decided to start my own blog. Which I did back in May 2009. You can read my first post here. I saw blogging as a way to practice my writing, to get better at putting my thoughts down in a way that was somewhat coherent. If people read what I wrote and identified with it great! But that wasn't the main aim.

To be perfectly honest with you, I doesn't matter to me if people do or don't like my blog. I write it primarily for me, and now for my daughter as well, to have a bit of a record of our lives that she will be able to easily access. So that she can gain a glimpse in to my mind and the thoughts and feelings I had when she was first born and on my journey of becoming a mother.
I love Cup of Tea and a Blog

I also have a journal that I write letters to her in. This is where the most personal stuff is written, stuff that I won't ever publish on here. Not because I don't want to, or because its not fit for sharing with the world or anything like that, but because those words are for her and her alone.

You may wonder why I don't just keep an offline journal if I don't care whether or not people read or like my blog. You may wonder why I bother to participate in link-ups. The answer is this: online its much easier to find previous posts and things I've written about. I also use this space to collect links to things that I have found funny, amusing, entertaining or thought-provoking. Its easier to keep it all together here, searchable with the use of a few key words.
Kelly's Handmade Tears and Triumphs is a must read

And I love participating in link-ups because I love to find new blogs. Like the title of this post says, I'm a blog whore. If people want to visit me from a link I've shared on IBOT or FYBF then great! But I participate because its a great way to find new blogs, to read and hear different voices.

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I wrote a post the other month that was a little bit ranty. Anyone that knows me in the offline world knows that I love to get my designer Ranty McRanterson pants on from time to time. I enjoy having a rant about stuff, its a great way to blow off a little of the steam that builds in everyday life, where I can say whatever pops in to my mind without having to worry about boring my husband.

That post that I wrote about blog snobs, it was read by quite a few more people than I expected. I really only expected some of the regular IBOT community to have a read, because after all they are the ones that seem to love my ranty pants and I gotta say, I quite like them too! They're comfortable! And elastic-waisted!
I also love to read about Amy's New Adventures in Dreamworld
I stand by everything I wrote in that post. I just wanted to point out one thing that I don't think I actually mentioned on Tuesday. That post about blog snobs was mostly written from the perspective of a blog READER. Not as a blog writer. Just like my Book Snobs post was written from the perspective of a READER. When I take offense to people saying there is nothing worth reading out there and that there are no decent blogs, I am taking offense to the idea, both stated and merely implied, that what I read and enjoy reading is crap and that I'm an idiot because of it. Perhaps nobody means that when they say it, but its what a lot of us hear between the lines.

It doesn't bother me what people think of my blog because I understand that its not everyone's cup of tea. People either like it or they don't and that is 100% fine by me. I've been blogging for 4 years now and sometimes lots of people read my blog and other times no-one reads my blog. I've published over 1000 posts and I'd say that probably only half of them have comments. I have no idea about the page views because it just doesn't matter to me. It's not the reason why I post here.

I'm not gonna lie and say it isn't nice when someone takes the time to read and leave me a comment. It's lovely when people do read your words and take the time to respond and let you know they either get it or think you're dead wrong. But if they don't? It's not the end of the world. People obviously had better things to do that day. Like read other blogs or live their lives. Or they just simply didn't like what I wrote. It doesn't diminish what I wrote, or the value of it.
The Climbing Tree is an ever growing obsession

There are more important things in life than how many people read or comment on my blog. Unless someone is trying to start a business through their blog, or their blog is for their business, then I think that people need to stop worrying so much about stats and followers and analytics and cliques and all the rest of it, because it doesn't matter.

Write for you. Write to please yourself. Read blogs that make you happy, that you identify with. Life is too short to waste time whinging and worrying about how many people do or don't read your blog and its certainly too short to waste time reading blogs you don't like.

If you write for you, first and foremost, then everything else is just the icing on the cake, and you might be surprised by how good that icing ends up. But don't do it just for the icing. Your writing will suffer if you're doing it just for the icing.
I love to laugh along with Emily from Have a Laugh on Me

So tell me, why do you blog? What got you started blogging in the first place? Do you do it to make money, become "well-known"? Do you worry about your stats? Are you in it for the hobby or the community? They say you should "know your niche" and what your blog is "about" if you want to become a successful blogger. But I don't think that's always true. The best bloggers are not always the most popular or most successful. No matter what or why you blog, to me the best bloggers are the ones who write from the heart and stay true to themselves.

P.S. The blogs scattered throughout this post are just a taste of what I think is some of the best writing on the web. There is so much more from where this came from and I have a post brewing to let you know of a few more that I love. I hope none of the bloggers whose headers I've nicked for this post mind. If you do just let me know and I'll remove them.

P.P.S. If you are looking for more readers to your blog please send me an email with a link to it because I would love to check it out. My whoring is not limited to any one type of blog and I'd be seriously happy if you took the time to introduce me to your blog. I promise I'll have a read, and even leave you a comment! Plus, I'm going on maternity leave in a few months and will be spending ridiculous amounts of time with a child attached to my boob, so having plenty of reading material in that time is going to help keep my sanity intact!. kylie(@)kyliepurtell(.)com

45 comments:

  1. Kylie, you had me a whore! I love your honesty and transparency. I blog to write. My soul, my mind, screams for me to write - if I don't, things could get ugly - I also write to offer my son's a glimpse into my life, my thoughts and that of their huge, extensive family - in a way that is impossible for a 4 and 6 year old to understand today - but they will one day. I started as a reader and that will always be the hat I wear when I visit someone else's blog - not as a blogger myself - I am their to share in their story, their adventure, their words and enjoy the ride - Love the bloggers you have mentioned in your post, the first blog I ever read was Muddled Up Mumma, and I would save reading her blog for morning tea time - it was like flicking open a magazine - still read it today xx

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  2. You dirty whore! Jokes, jokes :) I started blogging back in 2006 at the suggestion of an online friend, who thought some of the conversations we had would make for good blog. In was a sad, single, emo-girl atbtge time so it was also a good way to get things off my chest. Now that I'm a happily married mama, it still about getting things off my chest, but also about recording the crazy things my kids do, the adventures we have as a family, having a rant, and talking about current events. Its just my head - and my heart - on a page really.

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  3. I started blogging with my mate but then she didn't want to continue. Now I'm not sure why I blog and is probably why I haven't blogged much. I love writing and playing with different designs of my website. And also to share Jesus, even if a few people read it and learn then that's good enough. But S doesn't understand why I post and finds it weird so I think that's been limiting me as well. With a rejuvenated perspective I hope to get back into it!!!

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  4. So very true! Sometimes when I feel like I lost my way in blogging, I always look back to my first post. That was the true reason I started, and that's thr direction I intend to take. I may not blog a lot of heavy emotional stuff, but what I write is always true to myself.

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

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  5. You had me at the word 'whore'. My name is Alex and I'm a blog whore too.


    I started blogging in 2009 when I was pregnant. I think I saw Dooce on Oprah and thought that looks like fun. I love putting stories or thoughts or random ramblings on my blog. I'm a bit of a nerd and I love editing photos to put on there. I've been known to obsess about fonts on my layout. It's just fun to have a space to call your own.


    I've stopped doing as many reviews/ giveaways as I used to. I think the novelty has worn off and I've gone back to just writing things that amuse me.


    I think all the blog contests out there (like Kidspot, Mamamia's Most Clickable etc) are the reason bitchiness in the blogosphere starts. People get resentful (why doesn't everyone love my blog?!) and spiteful. It's stupid because there are SO MANY blogs out there it would be impossible to categorise them all.

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  6. You know I started blogging because my bestie told me other people would get a laugh off what I say, and because I love writing and have lots to say I started. A lot of what you said make me stop and think, eg reading posts I love, I sometimes feel obliged to read those I'm not so into (only a few really) - but you've given me food for thought. And you've also made me realise that I started blogging for me, so won't feel guilty for not writing to everyone else's meme's or links. So suit my style, others not, and that's okay. If I had more time I'd be reading blogs all day - but it's just not possible. I love honest, funny and ranty pants bloggers, eg you. Those who keep it real. A big hug for the shout out - and glad I can give you a giggle Ky. Hope your GT isn't giving you too much grief and Punky is being a wee angel! Em x

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  7. I did it for the same reason you do. To practise writing, Oh, and to get rid of all the chatter in my brain. But mainly just to WRITE. And if somebody reads that is awesome, and if they don't I still have a diary that my kids can read one day to find out who I really am.
    Now it has become a little more about helping others though with their crusade into mid life. As I discovered that people were reading and that even my clients were reading I became more conscious of ensuring some quality information as well as diary fluff.
    So yeah .. that's why I'm in it. And still doing it every.single.day which is not something I would recommend ...
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit

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  8. There's soooo many fantastic blogs, and I can't keep up with the ones I *am* subscribed to, and I am spewing at all the good ones I either read once and forgot to mark or the ones I don't even know about it....honestly you could spend your whole life just reading blogs! I think it's such a great community and sense of support, something generations before us never had. It's like therapy for me sometimes! As long as I can overlook stats (or lackthereof) and days where you get no traffic or comments, and remember that this is a record of MY journey, for MY (and my family's) reference, then it is an awesome little hobby :) x Aroha

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  9. I started to blog, to bring a personalised side to my business. But after a year or so I realised I wanted to talk about my personal life and my struggles with being a step mum and part of a blended family. I love reading lots of new blogs on Tuesdays, it is my favourite blog link up!

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  10. I LOVE the linkies for the reason! Its great to be able to wander from one writer to the nest. Im not even sure why I started writing. Maybe because I could see that bloggers have lives, wheras I was feeling trapped at home. Blogging has definately opened up fun opportunities for me to socialise and be exposed to new things, and it always feels like a conversation when I write, (and read!)

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  11. I doubt any of the fine bloggers you've mentioned would mind getting a plug from you. ;-) Great post.

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  12. Aha, well I started mine as a platform for me as a writer but have realised that blogging is it's own writing platform and in many ways MUCH more satisfying than print of all types. Has its drawbacks too of course. I have always been commercial to some extent, since I always sold print books off the blog. In many ways I'd like to describe mine as more an online magazine and less a blog. Anyway, whatever, I like it and it evolves all the time. And I love peeking into the lives of other online writers. Keep on keepin' on.

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  13. I started my blog to be part of a business idea I had. I had been reading blogs forbyears but ad no clue how much time it took. In the end I trashed the business idea and just let the blog take me along for the ride. I have cobbled together some work from this base and now have new directions to head in. I let go of all the extra "stuff" late last year and while it stalled my blog growth it stimulated my own growth =win for me

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  14. I need to get back to basics. I want to write about the adventures I have with my kids, but I also want to have those adventures too! I feel like I've missed something.
    Far out so many awesome IBOT posts today!!!!

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  15. I loved your rant! I think you were spot on. I like some of the same blogs you do- you've got fine taste :)

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  16. Yes!!!! Yes! I love this post. And this is exactly why I blog. And how I blog, and I'm not much fussed about stats, because they don't mean much. It's all about the writing and community for me. Keep being a whore Kylie- you're awesome xx

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  17. Agree with everything here. I blog to connect and to keep a record of life at this time and place. My blog has been in maintenance mode since December and it will likely stay there until I get around to getting a new computer. I miss blogging, but I don't miss the pressure I was putting I myself to do certain posts in a certain time frame or have so many likers or page views etc. when I go back, it will be for me only, with no pressure :)

    Hello from #teamIBOT ;) xx

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  18. Becoming well known is not on my agenda, my blog is purely for my enjoyment and though it ma have taken a back seat to life in the past few weeks, I have finally realised that this is nothing to stress over, no one is going to come and tell me off for not posting and it doesn't mean that my blog means nothing. I love blogging and I am still new in this amazing world, and I am so enjoying reading all the other amazing blogs out there, it really does help you realise that you are not alone.....

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  19. This is a good post, and not just because I'm in it. ;-) haha!

    Seriously though, I've just recently finished being a participant/subject for a study on mums who use social media and I've had to answer a stack of questions about why I blog, etc. etc. I said similar things to you - this is a space where I write the memories for my family to look back on. Where I write things like the date of Lior's first tooth etc. And I put them online for EXACTLY the same reason as you - so easy to search and find old things! I like the spiders-web-iness of blogs like that. Linking back etc.

    I guess over time our blog has changed a bit, and it is easy to start caring what people think. For example, just a few days ago I commented on a friend's blog and mentioned being pregnant, and then they posted congratulations, they hadn't realised. And by this stage we had announced it over 4 weeks ago, and it is mentioned in nearly every post, and nearly every other instagram I take, all on twitter etc., and I was a bit offended. Not because this person is a big-ish blogger and didn't recognise me, but more because I thought we were friends. I think I'm getting sidetracked. Hopefully your pregnant brain can follow along with my pregnant brain! Lol.

    I think what I'm trying to say is that I started to care that this person didn't read my blog, when I was a very diligent reader of their blog, and comment once or twice a week or whatever. We've met in real life a few times etc too. Then I needed to just give myself a slap and tell myself to get over it. She, nor anyone else was the reason I blog.

    I also need to say that there is another reason I blog other than just for our personal records etc. I also blog as a community service (obviously not all the time, the Dear Lior posts don't really offer any community service!!), but things like my posts on PND, Recipes, Infant Dairy Intolerance etc. I post all of those things in PART as a record of our life, but i chose to share those on the internet in the hope that they may help other people. I have found lots of comfort, research and information from other people's research they've shared on blogs, and I guess I wish to return the favour!

    Sorry for the long winded comment. Perhaps I will write an actual blog post along this topic, inspired by your post. It's always good to refocus to make sure your priorities are right!

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  20. Elise, I am with you on the social aspect!! I consider many bloggers true blue friends, even though I have never met them in real life, or even had a skype conversation or anything! Particularly bloggers who I regularly comment on and I on their blogs - I feel like we have a legitimate friendship!

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  21. A couple of the blogs I have mentioned above, in particular Amy @ New Adventures and Talia @ The Climbing Tree, were the blogs that got me through endless hours of breastfeeding with Punky in the early days, I would save reading their blogs for the evening feeds, which were always the longest!


    I love the fact that our kids will be able to gain a glimpse into the minds of their Mums when they get a little older, I wish I could read a blog that my own Mum had written when we were growing up, it would be awesome.

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  22. "It's just me head - and my heart - on a page really". I LOVE that Amy, it sums up exactly how I feel about it too. I must s I love being able to look back at older posts and see how I've changed over the years, some of it is cringeworthy but some of it is really interesting. And I love that I have a record that's tangible, of my journey to becoming a Mum and finding my feet in this new world.

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  23. I love playing around with the design too. Sometimes I sit down to blog and then spend the whole time just doing aesthetic stuff instead, its fun! Has S ever read your blog? Dave doesn't read mine unless I shove a particular post under his nose!

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  24. And I think that is so important, its the key really, being true to yourself. I like to read back over my first post too, its a great reminder of why I started, and funnily enough its the most viewed page on this blog!

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  25. I love that too, it really is this little space we have all to ourselves that we can do whatever we want to. It's a creative outlet really!


    I totally agree about the contests out there, I don't think they are necessary, and as you say, its definitely where the bitchiness starts. It's just a way of pitting people against one another and I think it goes a little against the community spirit that I love so much about blogging.

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  26. Thanks Em!


    I know what you mean about feeling obligated to read blogs that I'm just not that in to. Its taken me a long time to come to the realisation that its ok if I'm just not that into a blog. Part of the reason I love linkys is that its a chance to check in with some of the blogs that I do enjoy reading but perhaps don't hang out to read every day, unlike other blogs (like those I've listed). I tend to also go to someone's blog maybe a few times a month and read through all the posts I've missed and I really enjoy doing it that way with some as well, rather than checking in every day.

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  27. I've only blogged every single day for a month at a time, every now and then and it is hard. I find I tend to post lot of crap just to get something up. It took me ages to realise that for me, blogging works much better if I just blog when the inspiration takes me. The only day I consistently blog is Tuesdays, but because there is no theme or anything like that I find I often have lots of posts lined up as I draft them when the inspiration takes me and then flesh them out each week.


    It's interesting to look back over my older posts and see how my writing has changed. I think I am definitely better, although I still need to learn how to use less words to say the same thing!

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  28. I hate it when you find a new blog and then forget to bookmark it and subscribe and then can't find it again! So frustrating!


    I love the support too, that's something I've really discovered since having Punky. When I've written posts about having a hard time or not being able to cope with something, the support I've received, and just hearing that other people have gone through the same thing has been really helpful, especially in the early months when I was just living in that newborn bubble and felt so isolated.

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  29. Yep, I think Tuesday is my favourite day for blogging, there is always such a wealth of great posts to be found via IBOT. I think its important that we are all sharing the realities of our lives online and showing different ways of living. Not only does it help those in similar situation, but I think it opens people up to worlds and ways of living that they never knew existed and helps people to be a little more understanding of what others go through and deal with in their own lives.

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  30. I feel the same way Talia and Elise, the syocial aspect is fantastic. There are a few bloggers who I've never met but who I've been reading for years now and they really are as much my friends as the people who I see in my offline life and I LOVE that!

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  31. Fingers crossed! I think I need to make a monthly "Bloggers I Love" post because thee are just too many to include in one post!

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  32. That's one of the things I love about blogging, is the evolution, it can grown and change as we do and doesn't have to stay as something if it's not working, you can do whatever you want because there are no rules and its your space.

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  33. I love the ride that blogging can take us on The fact that there are no rules and we can do what we want is something that really appeals to me.

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  34. I know what you mean Jess, its so easy to get caught up in it all and then realise that we have been spending so much time online that we are running out of things to write because we have been neglecting our offline life. All the times I've taken a step-back an had a break from blogging have been so good for me and I come back to it with better perspective and balance every time. Plus a lot of new stories to share!

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  35. Thanks Kim! I think stats are interesting from a purely historic stand, I find it interesting to look at what has been popular with the spammers consistently! Lol! And the funny search terms people have used to point to the blog, but in terms of real readership and following and community they're really not a true indication.

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  36. Blogging is the greatest outlet. I've always kept a journal in some form or another since I was 10 years old so blogging has always felt like a natural extension of that.

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  37. I totally get that. When I first started I was so involved and found it became a bit of a chore as I was putting pressure on myself to post a certain amount and about certain things. I got bloggers burnout after a while I think. But when I stopped worrying about how man followers there were and how much and what I was posting and just got back to doing it for me, I've found that passion again and the rest has just followed from that.

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  38. It really does, reading that other people have the same experiences is half the fun isn't it, takes away some of the isolation we can sometimes feel. Its liberating to be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, with your blog.

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  39. The searching with ease was one of the first things that attracted me to blogging, being able to write about stuff and post links and things and then find them with the ease of a google search, its awesome!


    I know what you mean about caring what people think, sometimes its easy to fall in to that trap, Iv'e done it too.


    I think it is so important all the stuff that you have shared in regards to PND, the IDI, etc. Like you say, blogs are a great way to get find information and if you can help even one person by posting about what you've been going through then that is so fantastic and such a great service! I've particularly found reading about Lior's Infant Dairy Intolerance interesting, as even though Punky hasn't had the same problem, reading about some of the alternatives that you've found has been great, and also because it turns out that my sister had the same thing when she was a baby but nobody could tell Mum what the problem was. When I told her about what you'd gone through with Lior she said it was like I was talking about A. So I hope that down the track, when A has babies, and the chance that they may have the same issues, what you've written will help her.


    Love the long comment, you should definitely write a post, its a really interesting topic, I've been loving hearing about why people blog.

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  40. Beautifully said, Kylie!!! I love how you're such an integral part of our community because of your genuine interest in all our blogs.
    You're fiery, passionate and extremely loyal. Love all that about you x

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  41. Thanks Kylie for including my blog. I love your blog too. I love your honesty about this stuff. I stupidly let myself get caught up in some of the negativity out there but you are right, who cares what anyone thinks except me?

    I loved this comment:

    "sense of entitlement that blogging or bloggers owed them something and that people should be tailoring their blogs and their writing to their specific tastes".

    That has always baffled me when I've read those sorts of complaints. My blog is my space and I'll write what I want. Anyone who doesn't like it can click away! I've had a few sponsored opportunities come my way lately and I've thought about what my readers might think but in the end I figured if I can do them while keeping my voice authentic then I'm going to do the posts. Each measly $50 I get makes a big difference to my life. And by getting the practice it might help larger opportunities come my way.



    Thanks again for the linkback (that's me caring about stats - heheh) and the love.


    V. xx

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  42. Kylie, don't ever try to shorten your posts, the detail you go into is what I love about your blog!
    I blog because I've always written things and kept lists, and to be able to have a space that I can add whatever I like, is like a dream to me.
    The only downsize to blogging for me is not having enough time to read all that I would like. xx

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  43. Catching up on your blog - I'm a few posts behind. Yours is one that I look forward to - it's passionate and tender but you sure know how to get your point across! I became interested in blogging through Twitter. As new mum, I followed all the 'mum' handles and was party to hilarious conversations and amazing journeys. I started my own last year, as you know and have fallen in love! X

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  44. I needed this post. I'm in the process of thinking whether I should shut down my blog. It started off as a private one then I slowly started sharing with friends, then I thought I wanted to head down a certain direction and now I'm lost. I'm caught up with the stats wondering if anyone even reads it. I should just do as you suggested "Write for you. Write to please yourself". Thank you for reminded me why I Started my blog. If you would like to read a new blog while you have a baby on your boob feel free to read mine (www.gen-y-mum.blogspot.com), considering I'm also pregnant and will be in a very similar boat soon after you.

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