I think I can, I think I can. Ah bugger it, I can't! | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Thursday, 2 May 2013

I think I can, I think I can. Ah bugger it, I can't!

When I was in year 7 I had this geography teacher. He was one of those teachers that was a hard-arse, but also fair, with a really dry sense of humour. He once made me stand in the corner of the room and count as many bubbles in the paint as I could for the rest of the class. Of course this was because I was talking too much, which would be no great surprise to anyone who knows me and to the regular readers of this blog! 

So anyway, this teacher, his favourite thing to say to us, when we said we couldn't do something was, if it was a girl he was speaking to, "The only thing you can't be is a father!". And of course to the boys he said the same (almost) "The only thing you can't be is a mother!".

Over the years this has stuck in my head and whenever I've found myself thinking "I can't do that!" I hear his words, clear as day and it pushes me to try just that little bit harder, always striving to achieve the things I thought I couldn't possibly do.

However I've also come to learn that there are just some things that I will never be able to do. Some things I will just never be good at.

Like put together an awesome outfit. When it comes to fashion I really have no freaking clue! I always thought, as I went through high school feeling super self-conscious of my daggy clothes and crappy fashion sense, that one day, when I was older and had more money, I'd be good at this fashion shit. But no. Now, in my 30s, I'm just as clueless, the only difference being that I really don't give a shit anymore. I'm happy to not be the most stylish, the most trendy, the most fashion forward. As I've mentioned countless times, I'm a lazy, lazy girl, and being fashionable is just way too much hard work. I'd rather spend my time reading books, and my money on buying them. My one saving grace is having a daughter. I know what looks cute on a miniature human and I'm pretty good at dressing her. Who woulda thunk it?!?

Same goes for cooking. I am a useless cook. Ok, not totally useless, when I actually get in the kitchen and cook and put in a bit of effort the food I turn out is always pretty good, if I do say so myself. I've never had any complaints and I've never had any failures. But I just detest it! I really get no great enjoyment out of cooking, and I get even less out of the cleaning afterwards. And that is my real downfall. Lazy girl strikes again! I was convinced that once I had a house and kitchen of my own that I was gonna make cooking my bitch. But the cleaning afterwards made me her bitch and it's just way too much effort.

We bought our house almost 6 years ago and I still have not mastered the art of keeping it clean and tidy. Sure it's not filthy, and we won't be featured on an episode of Hoarders any time soon (unless you look in the two spare room, that may convince you otherwise on the Hoarders thing!) but I am definitely not going to be winning any Housewife of the Year awards, that's for sure. I've always been a fairly untidy person, and that can be attributed to the aforementioned Lazy Girl Syndrome I suffer from severely. But I was sure, when I was a kid, that when I was an adult I would be good at keeping things neat and tidy and doing my roster of cleaning tasks. I'm still waiting for that to happen. I wonder if it means I'm not really an adult yet?

But the thing that I really, truly thought I would have been better at by now? Getting up in the morning.

Getting up in the morning is my biggest failing as a human being (OK, that might be a little dramatic, but we'll go with it). I suck at getting up in the morning. I've never been a morning person, I need at the very minimum 20 mins of lying in bed after I wake up to actually psych myself to roll on out and get the day started. I am a night owl of the highest order and unfortunately that has derailed any plans I've ever had of being a morning person. My inherent laziness once again comes in to play here, in that getting up in the morning means actually having to do stuff, like go to work, or make breakfast, or do some housework, and the minute my sleep-addled brain realises this my body shuts down and I struggle to rise.
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People would say to me that once I had kids I would get over that quick smart but I can categorically tell you, after 17 months, it is NOT TRUE!. Having kids will not automatically make you a morning person. In fact, I argue that having a baby has made me even less of a morning person! Because when you've gotten out of bed for the umpteenth-million time during the night to re-settle, feed, change a nappy, whatever, the last thing you want to do is get out of the bed when they decide that ridiculous o'clock is the time to start the day.

And they are always so God-damn cheerful about it! Which makes it even harder. People used to joke at work that you couldn't even smile at me within the first half an hour of me arriving in the office as I just couldn't take it. And they were right. For every part of my heart that melts when I see my girl's sweet smile and hear her excited babbling fist thing in the morning, there is an equal part that is grumbling within "Why the fuck are you awake and why the fuck are you so cheerful about it?! The freaking sparrows aren't even awake yet dammit!".
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I would even go so far as to argue that even the best morning people would have trouble being morning people when they have spent all night dealing with a child who wants to party every few hours and hasn't figured out the concept of night and day. Personally I think having a baby has made me even less of a morning person than I ever was before, and now that she's a toddler it just gets worse!

I live in hope though that one day, right around the time she becomes a teenager and wants to sleep-in till midday, I will become better at being a morning person. And at doing housework. I hope I can find the strength and energy to get out of bed at 6am and start vacuuming right outside her bedroom door, with a cheerful smile on my face and some cutesy-cute babbling.

Because revenge is a dish best-served very early in the morning in this house!

This post has been inspired by the bloggers behind an awesome new linky that has started up at The Lounge. Every Thursday the linky will be hosted by one of 5 fantastic bloggers and you're invited to come along, sit down, grab a drink and enjoy some of the other fantastic stories contributed by like-minded Lounge Lizards. This weeks linky is being hosted by The Queen of Awesome, Teagan from Musings of the Misguided, and the theme is What did you think you would be better at by now?

You can check out The Lounge on facebook by clicking here, and check out the other awesome bloggers participating in this weeks linky by clicking here.


  1. A little-known fact Kylez… you can actually be so fashion forward that you end up BACKWARD. Look at some of those catwalk pieces. ACTUALLY backward. So I'd say you're in front. Anyway, dressing little people is way more fun. I'm so with you on the sleeping. I think it's my favourite hobby. WHy do people knit? They should sleep. You can make CELLS in your sleep. Thanks for hanging out on the Lounge today! [x Kim AKA Lounge Lizard the III]

  2. I used to sleep in until 11am on Sundays. Now we get up at 6am.

    However, some light at the end of the tunnel: On weekend mornings now my husband takes over, and 2 of my 3 girls are old enough to just want to watch tv, so I can sleep in until about 7:30-8am.

    And on the up side - how much longer are weekends once you start getting up before midday?!

  3. I try so hard with the fashion but I fail. I love my gym pants too much. And yep I suck at mornings as well. I just wish I didn't like staying up late so much! x

  4. Nearly 4 years later and I am definitely not a morning person either. Mornings are the work of all things evil, and people who think they are awesome, are just strange.

    Thanks for linking up with The Lounge!

  5. Oh lord I used to be a morning person. I still am I guess. But years of sleepless children have work me down to a shadow of my former bright and perky self. Now I fantasise about whole days in bed. The luxury of it...sigh...

  6. Ah yes, I can relate to all of this except the cooking. I like cooking. I leave the cleaning and my husband hates it. Haha!

    But yes, everything else I was just nodding my head saying "I know right?!" And "ah! Me too!"

  7. Ky - I totally could have written this! WOWSERS, especially the clean house part, the hate getting up part and the dress sense. Such a shame the dress sense cos if I had some I reckon I could make myself look MUCH smarter for less moolah! Em xx

  8. Did I write this post? I COULD have written this post! I may actually have written this post in my head and been too lazy to type it up ....

  9. My sentiments exactly!! I could have written this one! I am not normal until I've had my coffee. Bring on the teenager sleep ins!

  10. I can relate to the cleaning thing! I don't think of myself as 'lazy' as such, but I just don't quite know how other people manage (or can be bothered) to keep a spotless house. It's too depressing when it all gets un-cleaned so quickly by my little cherubs! I love that you're already planning ways to torture your future-teens :)

  11. I am with you on all of these. Fashion, I got a stylist. Cleaning I got cleaners and appliances that do most things for me. Cooking, I am saving up for a Thermomix.
    The biggest pain in the arse is that you cannot pay someone else to help you wake and wake up happy. My son has a good hard try, but at the 'crack' I don't respond too kindly.
    Will someone please invent something to help out here?
    Kylie, you are so not alone. I also think I could quite possibly just pip you for the laziest person title.
    Becc @ Take Charge Now

  12. I am still not good at any of these things as well. Especially the house cleaning on.

  13. Great post Kylie! I'm with you on the fashion, cooking, cleaning and mornings! Plus I have had the pleasure of vacuuming outside my kid's rooms in the {not so early} morning while they were sleeping off the night before. Who ever said revenge wasn't sweet?!

  14. omgggg I am so not a morning person either! It doesn't help when my girl isn't as well and I'm so tired struggling to get her out of bed that I just want to slumber back down too ahahah.

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

  15. I am not a morning person either. I miss real sleep-ins. Lots.

  16. Umm oh crap, you mean I shouldn't have had all those children??? Fashion? Isn't that WHY we have kids? To teach us? Cooking... same deal... and cleaning? Who does that?
    Meh, life's too short to dwell on the boring stuff. ;) xxx

  17. I saw a link to that link up, then my own version of Lazy Girl Syndrome hit and I totally forgot to sit and do a post..... As for me, I am definitely more of a morning person that a night owl, but I am so NOT good at being neat, tidy and organised!

  18. Not a morning person either so when my 7 year old wakes up bright and fresh at 6 am mind you on a Saturday morning - we play a game. It's called "lets see how long you can stay still" and because he really wants to win, he tries really hard to stay still - lasts about 10 minutes = 10 minutes snooze for me and then we have another round and if I am lucky , another.

  19. My family always joked that if you wanted to enter my bedroom you should tie a rope around your waste in case you got lost. And they would call out - "I'm entering Emma's room, send a search party if I'm not out in 30 minutes".
    Now though, you rarely see my house messy, I would even go so far as to say I get a bit panicky and can't relax if things are overly messy - go figure!!
    Totally pisses off my sister who had to share a room with me for a time and has always been a neat freak, even as a kid!

  20. Don't shoot me but I can be a morning person and really enjoy getting up and getting at it. If I had to do it every morning, I wouldn't like it though... hold on, with four kids and Saturday sports I do have to get a grip early 6 mornings out of 7!!

  21. Oh Kylez I am a lazy girl too! I love the idea of fashion and do give it a bash, but I just can't be bothered with the effort required to really be a fashionista. Pass me a book or a magazine any day ;)
    Thanks for linking - I hope we see you table dancing in The Lounge again soon xxx

  22. I love fashion but I don't think I do it very well. I try to be a bit different with what I wear but I don't know if I pull it off. I go for comfort as much as possible.

    I am a lazy girl too or actually the way I like to put it is that I just like to spend my precious time doing other things rather than housework. I love cooking when I'm in the mood and I don't mind washing clothes, drying them, folding and putting away but I hate cleaning. Foul.

    I used to be a big sleeper-innerer (it is a word!). Now, even when my parents have Ned for the weekend I still can't sleep too much past 9 or 10. I used to easily sleep past midday before child. I like the mornings now. I don't like missing the day at all.

    I missed this linky. I'm trying to do #blogeverydayinmay. Got in way over my head I think! V.

  23. You just destroyed all my dreams of being a morning person when I'll have kids...!

  24. I'm a morning person now...but it does mean I have to have nanna naps and be in bed by 8:30. What has my life come to?


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