Daddy's Little Girl

This post was inspired by Kevin at The Illiterate Infant. He asked me if I was interested in guest posting for his Mums on Dads series and he threw me a couple of ideas that I could workshop. One of those ideas was "Dads and their little girls - where does their allegiance really lie when there's two special ladies in one family?". I started writing this post but decided it wasn't going quite where I thought it should and decided to draft it and work on it later. I ended up writing about Dad's and sympathetic pregnancies, which you can read over here. So instead, here is a post that kind of took on a life of it's own.

Before I fell pregnant with Punky, Dave and I weren't too fussed about what gender our future-first-child would be. I know that Dave would have been happy to have a boy or a girl, but at the end of the day, I'm pretty sure he really liked the idea of having a son, a boy of his own.

Someone he could rough-house with, someone who would throw and kick a ball around with him (he has two brothers, neither of whom have ever been interested in kicking or throwing a ball around, much to Dave's sporty disgust!), someone he could talk footy with.

I mentioned to Dave that just because we might have a son, didn't mean he would be interested in doing any of those things. And that in having a daughter he could do exactly those things with her too. Heck, I've been known to kick and throw around a ball (not well, but that's beside the point!), and I can talk footy with the best of the boys.

In the end we had a baby girl and Dave was not disappointed in the least! From the moment she emerged, Dave has been wrapped around her little finger and the way he dotes on her is amazing to watch. He has so much patience and loves to spend time outside with her, kicking a ball and showing her all the bugs and insects in the yard, 'toughening' her up as he says, so she won't run screaming from a cockroach like her mother!

And while it fills my heart with joy to see the special bond they have, I have to admit to having had the odd pang of jealousy. In the beginning it was because Dave got to do lots of the fun stuff, and didn't have to perform the duty of on-call dairy-cow 24 hours a day.

But as Punky has gotten older it manifested in different ways. Hearing him use the nicknames he made up for me and only ever used for me, he now uses for her too. Seeing the way his first thought in any situation is for Punky, and if she is ok, and comfortable and happy. Seeing the way he watches her doing things and rushes to help her out .

I've come to realise though, that doing these things with Punky is in fact another way that he expresses his love for me. Albeit in an abstract way. Just because he has this special relationship with our daughter doesn't in any way diminish his feelings for me or our bond. And while our relationship has changed since Punky came along, and there have been tough times, and times when we haven't seen eye to eye, times when we've been arguing over who's turn it is to get up in the morning or change the dirty nappy, our relationship is not worse. If anything its grown and matured. Dave now has the little person to play with and tease and do all those kiddy things with/to. All the things that he used to annoy me with.  Thank God!

And in return I've had the privilege of watching my husband grow in to the role of father, I've watched a relationship form and grow in front of my eyes. We've been able to grow our own relationship and learn to appreciate each other more. There's no jealousy anymore, just love and thanks, that our daughter, and the special bond Dave has with her, has allowed our bond to grow and become better than ever.

Linking this post up with the ever awesome Jess and that fantastic weekly link-up, IBOT. If you blog on Tuesday then you should definitely pop on over and check out some of the other awesome peeps that also BOT!