One Perfect Moment {Now I Lay Me} | Life | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Monday, 2 March 2015

One Perfect Moment {Now I Lay Me} | Life

One Perfect Moment is all about those moments, big or small, that make you wish they'd last forever. Those moments you want to stop in time, when everything feels perfect, even for just a split-second. Snapshots of the mind. Moments to treasure forever.

Nineteen Months. Not a baby anymore, not yet a little girl. Her face still has some of that round, baby squishiness left in it. The full cheeks. The extra rolls of delightful baby fat still cling to her fast growing arms and legs. Her podgy little belly.



But, there's that whisper of a little girl. I see it in the cheeky glint of her eye as she tears around the house, never stopping for more than a moment. I hear it in her laugh, when she makes a joke or does something silly, when she's playing with her sister. I feel it when she comes up to me unexpectedly and wraps her arms around me.

My baby is growing up. And I'm so not ready for it.

When she was small, sleepy times were a mix of easy and tear-my-hair-out frustrating. Since birth she's had a knack for putting herself to sleep. I'm not sure if it's simply her nature, or a necessity born of being a second child with a big sister not prepared to let Mummy stand for ages patting a baby to sleep.

Whatever it is, despite a few rough patches around times of big developmental leaps and immunisations, our baby girl has been, for the most part, a good sleeper. Content to snuggle in my arms as I rock her to the sounds of her special bedtime music.

Sometimes she would fall asleep almost straight away, safe in the knowledge that all small people seem to have, that a mother's or a father's arms are the best place in the world.

Other times, she would lay there in my rocking arms, staring up at me with her big, beautiful blue eyes. When she does this, she seems to have a wisdom beyond her years. Framed with those long lashes she inherited from her Daddy, it's almost as if she knows, the same way I know, that these days of being held and rocked in my arms are numbered.
Baby Zee, exactly 7 hours and 5 minutes new, July 2013
At nineteen months old she weighs almost 12 kilos. It's no easy feat to get her into her sleeping bag and then lift her out of the cot for our nightly sleepy time rock. Some nights she protests, she strains in my arms, she doesn't want to be held. I know this is nothing against me. It's just her way of exercising her autonomy, realising little by little that she is a person unto herself. Separate from her Mum, her Dad and her sister. She is learning that she is her own person, with the world at her feet.

But other nights? Other nights, as she settles in my arms, she looks up at me with those knowing, soulful eyes. She gazes at me the way she has since birth. Her little body relaxes as she lets go of the play and chaos of the day.

Sometimes her chubby little fingers reach up and explore my face, touching my lips, my nose, my neck. In doing this, I feel as though she's doing with her fingers, what I am trying to do with my heart.

Memorise this moment. This feeling. Tuck it away into the very deepest part of my soul.

We both know these moments won't last forever. Soon, she will be too big for me to cradle in my arms, rocking her to the gentle strains of a lullaby we have danced to since the very day she was born. A lullaby filled with the soft gentle music of the bond between mother and child. A bond so exquisitely beautiful that it overwhelms my heart, fills it to bursting.

I want to commit every detail of her lying there in my arms to memory. I never want to forget the feel of her gaze, the touch of her soft hands. The way her eyes grow heavy and the line of her mouth relaxes.

In this moment, everything is perfect.

A perfect moment of pure, unadulterated love.


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12 comments:

  1. writeofthemiddle2 March 2015 at 11:56

    What a gorgeous little baby! Oh my goodness - as the mother of twin boys now aged 22 and a daughter who will turn 20 next month .... I can tell you that time speeds up very quickly. It only seems a short time my three were all little. It's wonderful that you are noticing, capturing and enjoying all the special moments! :-) xo

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  2. Oh I love this post as I have just been thinking the same. After having a newborn recently my toddler just seems so big! And is growing up fast. Those early days are so so precious and certainly don't last long. Hold onto them, remember them, love them

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  3. Gosh it's sad how quickly they grow, my 3.5 is under instructions to STOP IT! I do miss those early months...

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  4. Kaz @ MeltingMoments2 March 2015 at 17:08

    So beautiful. Sitting here reading with a lump in my throat. Such special moments.

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  5. Tash from Gift Grapevine2 March 2015 at 17:34

    They grow up way too fast! I remember feeling sad when Mr TT no longer fit in his sleeping bag and then last year when he moved from his cot to a big bed. I miss the baby stage (although am now living vicariously through my friends). I'm sure Zee will be keen for lots of cuddles in the years to come. As she gets bigger, she'll be able to cling on and hug even tighter.

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  6. It goes too quickly. I want the 19 months back again sometimes just for one extra baby cuddle!!
    I still need to share my moment from a couple of weeks ago!!

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  7. Alicia-OneMotherHen3 March 2015 at 10:27

    Definitely a time to be cherished. Those cuddles don't last forever x

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  8. It so is! I love when babies rub their hands over your face. So gentle. So lovely xo

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  9. Bec @pinchmebeautiful4 March 2015 at 17:17

    I hear you! they grow way to fast. Cant believe my little man will be 18mths soon... makes me a little sad. xx

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  10. Oh yes. Our youngest baby just turned one late last week & I am struggling emotionally that our baby is growing up. I know it is inevitable - we have 6 after all. But I just can't loosen my grip on his baby days & they are sliding through my hands faster than ever before.

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  11. I am an emotional wreck already tonight Kylie and then THIS... this beautiful post from you just sent me completely over the edge xx

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