Monday Mini-Rant - F&%king "Fashion" and Why I'll never be a fashion blogger | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Monday, 14 April 2014

Monday Mini-Rant - F&%king "Fashion" and Why I'll never be a fashion blogger

The other day I went to the shops to try and find something to wear to the #voicesof2014 blogging masterclass. And lemme tell ya, it was an effing depressing experience!



I am at that stage where I am not only in between sizes, but I'm in between what is considered plus-size and what's not. So trying to find clothes that fit, both in the shops and in my own bloody wardrobe is an absolute nightmare.

All of the clothes in my wardrobe are either too small, too big, or too damn maternity!

I am so over wearing maternity clothes after being pregnant, breastfeeding, pregnant and breastfeeding, pregnant and once again breastfeeding (you follow that?!) for the past almost 3 and a half years!

If you asked Dave, he would tell you that I have more clothes than any one person has a right to own. However I'l let you try and explain to him why it is that women-with-bursting-wardrobes everywhere exclaim "I have nothing to wear!!!!".  Good luck with that!

Venturing in to the shops it would seem the only people who want to buy clothes are those who are either young or blind. Or ridiculously thin! I spent a shitload of time going in to 3, yes 3 bloody stores, trying to find something, anything, that I could wear.

That was 2 more shops than I'd bargained for!


I don't have a lot of money to spend on clothes, and I've never been big on designer-wear anyway. My budget and comfort level has always seen me well and truly shopping in places like Target and Big W. And boy-oh-boy was I disappointed when I walked out of Target.

Normally I can find something semi-decent in Target, and if not there then Big W, but alas it was not meant to be.

Putting aside the fact that we only have a stupid, poxy Target Country (the place where all the regular Targets send all their rejects and odd-sized stock it seems!) it appears that the people who design the fashions available in our Target hate their customers. Or at least they hate me. (They will after this post at any rate!)

It's all shapeless and floral. Or just downright ugly. There were some tops that I really couldn't believe anyone would actually buy! It looked like one of my Grandma's old lounges had been murdered to make clothing for the stylistically challenged!

And what is with all the cropped tops? I didn't understand them in 1994 and I sure as hell don't understand them now. Especially the long-sleeved cropped top. The only way I can see that working is if you've got a nice, protective layer of fat around the mid-section, blubber some might call it, to keep you warm. But those damn cropped tops certainly weren't designed for the likes of me and my mega-muffin tops so that can't be it.

Maybe the old adage "no sense, no feeling" was actually meant to be "no fashion sense, no feeling"?

Long-sleeved, tartan crop tops with leather-look shoulder patches? And matching mini skirts to boot?

Really, Target???

Really???

And what's with all the leather pants and leggings? The only place I wanna see leather pants is in a nightclub or 1999.

And it's not even real leather, it's "leather look". What the fuck? Forget about crimes against animals, this is crimes against fashion on a grand scale, and I for one, will have no part in it!

If this is what passes for clothing these days then STOP THE WORLD! I want to get off!

This post is further proof of why I'll never be a fashion blogger and have now guaranteed I'll never be a bloody Target brand ambassador either! Do you hate shopping as much as I do? And please tell me you are not down with the whole leather-look thing. If you are, we might have to break up!

Linking it up with mah girl Em over at Have a Laugh on Me to wet her head on her first hosting of the Laugh Link. Get over them and have a few laughs with Em and those other hilarious chickas! And also linking up with the other various Monday link-ups, I Must Confess, Open Slather, and Mummy Mondays.

28 comments:

  1. I didn't know whether to comment as The Plumbette or as Bec from Styled by Bec! x You poor pet, I have been in the same position as you... actually I think most mums have and it can be really depressing not finding something to wear. In these situations I always have a faithful black dress that I choose to wear post baby (never during maternity) and I accessorise it to suit. I do a lot of my shopping online only because it's easier with kids and I'm pretty confident about my shape and what suits it.

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  2. bwah hahahah I also have no clean mirrors or rooms! xox

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  3. Ha ha love that the boobs managed to cope - and Zee! You're a legend IRL and I'm so glad I got to meet you Ky, you're even more awesome in person!!

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  4. As a middle-aged woman who doesn't want to wear garish florals or prints, but doesn't want to look like mutton dressed as lamb I applaud this post Kylie. None of the mirrors in my house are clean either.

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  5. I've been wondering about the leather tracksuit pants and why everyone is drooling over them. I could have written this post. I do touch on fashion on the blog but it would seem I'm 20 years too old and too unfashionable to be part of the whole fashion blogging scene. I've also been having far too many 'I've got nothing to wear' moments with a wardrobe that is literally bursting and find clothes shopping depressing.

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  6. Lol oh Kylie you poor thing! I thought you looked fab on Saturday! Totally on trend darling ;) I'm at that stage in pregnancy now where I've pretty much given up on shopping as anything I want to buy that's 'normal and not maternity' just looks bizarre and anything 'maternity' won't be in rotation for much longer. That being said, I DID pick up a rather fetching new jumper from Big W yesterday that may well make the magical leap from maternity to normal wear with aplomb (or at least I'm hoping so!) The leather trackies thing.. After years working in magazines, nothing really suprises me and though I am an owner of not one but two pairs of Sass And Bide 'Rats' leather look leggings from years back, I can't see myself going down the trackies track just yet!

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  7. I could go on about this for days!! I need a new cossie, a tankini to be precise. My cossie of choice. Do you think I could find any swimmers anywhere the other week when I hit the shops. NO. Tarjay had either a bikini or ugly 1 piece, big dud had none and I couldn't be bothered going anywhere else!! I feel your pain!! There really is not a brand/shop that caters to (real)mum bodies. My stomach will never see the light of day again thanks to 3 kids!!

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  8. I'm certainly no fashion blogger... I had the best outfit - a baby. Hides baby grime, leaking milk AND is so darn cute that no one takes the time to look what you are actually wearing. Winning. For what it's worth, you looked like a total babe on Saturday. Meeting you was absolutely amazing! X

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  9. Oh Kylie you make me laugh! I'm with you on the leather that's not leather inserts in everything... why just why?? And yep the flowy maternity/breastfeeding clothes are still lingering in my wardrobe two years on... Since having kids (and now working from home) I just can't justify the dollars I used to spend on clothes! A good fitting pair of blue skinny jeans are my staple though - I pretty much live in them (and above mentioned flowy tops) :) xx

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  10. I used to love clothes shopping a hundred years ago when I was skinny and had spare cash. Now it's just depressing. Oh well just as well I never go anywhere besides the shops and my boys school and soccer. I reckon there's enough fashion bloggers, anyway. I prefer your keeping it real, Seinfeldian blog just the way it is.

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  11. I hear ya! bloody frustrating and very depressing to go clothes shopping these days,

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  12. I hate that you can walk into one store and be a certain size and then walk into the store next door and be 2 sizes bigger!!! Sucks! I also see so many pretty dresses that appear to be missing about 2 inches of hem!!! depressing!

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  13. AAHH!! I totally, 100% feel you!! I'm too fat for most 'normal' sized stores/clothes, but plus size is just a bulky sack on me. As much as I know this pain and don't wish it on anyone, I'm glad to know others are in the same boat.

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  14. Yep, totally get you! I don't even have a mirror in my house, I use the shower if the lighting is good or the sliding door glass...it's probably a good thing I can't see myself properly some times. My clothes are pretty much all from either Target or KMart. Sizing frustrates the shit out of me, in KMart it seemed that size small shorts and size 12 shorts were exactly the same. And yeah, what is with the crop top things? And my pet hate (and most peoples) are the hang ya bum and pockets out shorts. Would not like to see the credit card bill for people with designer taste!

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  15. Yep I have that problem too - I'm a size 14-16 - too big for most "normal" clothes, not big enough for plus sizes ... Grrr

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  16. You looked HAWT girl, and despite all the drama finding your clothes, you rocked it! I too could never be a fashion blogger, ain't nobody got time for looking pretty all the time, best to be fugly a lot and then when you dress up peeps notice! Love ya guts xx

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  17. Talking of maternity clothes, do you know what I am sick of? Nursing bras. I have been pregnant or breastfeeding continuously now since November 2007. Dear God, I just want a decent bra!

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  18. Argh! I totally hear you. I HATE clothes shopping. My cupboard is also filled with maternity clothes and clothes that are too small or too big. I hate being in between sizes. I'm trying to pack for our NZ trip, but I don't have any effing decent clothes to pack. Boo hooooooooo!

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  19. Just for the record, Kmart is not only the cheapest damn place to buy clothes, but it's where all the good stuff is!! I won't go anywhere else for clothes anymore, and I can do a season's worth of shopping for $200 or less....throw in an extra $100 and BOTH girls are outfitted also. That, my dear, is the definition of perfection to a terminally poor Mama

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  20. I hate the faux leather leggings. Seriously why? Why would you do that????
    I may also be slightly jealous that there is no way I could pull them off with my thighs

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  21. I went into Target today and saw those cropped tops. I don't get it - I want something to cover me in the cold weather!

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  22. Crop tops and leather pants! Computer says No...
    We only have Target country too, good for a pick when the sales are on.
    I have liked what I've seen in the Best and Less catalogues, never been there for clothes for me though, so I don't know how their sizes work. Gotta do some more walking and less eating to get back into the size 14s in my drawers as it is! Totes depressing!

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  23. What about a pair of short shorts where your ass can hang out the bottom!! Isn't the fashion ridiculous at the moment. Hearing you on the shopping front as I too am finding it difficult to find clothes to fit my expanding belly that I actually like. Hope you do find something lovely to wear and I want to see you selfie the shit out of it. Dirty mirrors and all.

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  24. Imagine all the "behind the scenes" sweat that they would give you!

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  25. I hate leather, but I hate fake leather even more!! Op shopping is definitely my thing. You looked pretty gorgeous in that photo by the way Kylie x

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  26. We share the same sentiments! And the back ground on the photo looks awfully familiar! Our house looks so much like that, only a LOT messier! LOL

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  27. I saw harem pants out again the other day. WTF? I'll never be a fashion blogger for the same reasons Kylez but also because I just don't GET fashion. Glad you passed over the "leather" and "floral lounge" items, I completely second you on those points!

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  28. Oh gawd! I'm with you. Fashion bloggers are mystical creatures in my books most of my wardrobe comes from Katies and Susanne! I recently bought a post baby top from Bohemian Traders. That;s me SPLURGING and being all hipster. But at least the make of their clothes will cover all my post baby bits and bumps!

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