Wanker Words can Bite Me! | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Friday, 7 February 2014

Wanker Words can Bite Me!

Sometimes words are wanky, don't you agree?

wanker words can bite me, wanker words
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Buzz words, phrases, some of them just really get under my skin and rub me the wrong way.

Yes. Pun intended.

I watch a lot of cooking shows, and cooking shows are filled with them. There are so many that are just so frickin annoying!

Like "good, honest food".

I'm sorry, what?! Food lies? Since when has food been lying? And if it hasn't been lying, then how is it honest? Despite the amount of times I hear it, I am yet to figure out what "honest food" bloody well is! It just looks like food to me.

"Perfection on a plate". Always said in reference to something I would never, ever eat!

"Comfort food". My definition of comfort food does not include something with a million ingredients that takes 3 hours to cook. Slaving over a stove is not comforting to me! I'd much rather be comforted by my husband. At least he could give me a hug without covering me in sauce. Most of the time.

"It's us, on a plate". Um, no. It's not you on a plate. It's bloody food on a plate. It would have to be a jolly big plate to fit the likes of you on it! And then we'd be getting in to dangerous cannibal territory and I really don't wanna go there!

But for me, the worst one of all?

It has to be "clean eating". Or "clean food".

Piss off mate. The only time I've ever eaten dirty food was when I was a toddler and picked up bits of crap off the floor and shoved them in my gob. Or maybe when drunk and I've dropped a bit of my delicious, late-night kebab!

"Eating clean". It's such a wanker term don't you think? I'd rather eat good, healthy food, than a bloody adjective.

Do any of the above annoy you too? Got any more wanker words to add to the list?
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9 comments:

  1. There was a rage (last year I think, so hard to keep up) about 'activating' food. It makes it sound like a bomb, what exactly happens when it gets activated? I don't know if I want to eat a food that has bomb connections..

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  2. Ha ha... have you been watching My Kitchen Rules? I've just started watching. In truth I had not noticed such annoying phrases but I sure will now. You're right, they're totally annoying. The show and shows alike are all a bit of wank though... ..

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  3. I actually use "comfort food" a lot but they don't usually require much or any cooking at all. That to me is really very comforting hahaha

    Ai @ Sakura Haruka

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  4. I love you for this post and that image!!! Even though I love it, MKR is pretty wanky in that respect. Whenver I watch those shows i'm always thinking, great dish, now double it!! I do use 'comfort food' as well though...

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  5. I would have to agree, it's just food! sheesh! Thank goodness there's no ad breaks between prep and service round here, except for the gobs full of wine from me :)

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  6. Yes! Eating clean just sounds so judgemental, by the eaters of the said clean food! And we definitely don't waste any delicious kebab. x

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  7. I have to disagree with you on one thing. I believe that chocolate can be a comfort food.

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  8. LMAO - this is gold and juts what I needed, a laugh. I might have also picked up a dropped kebab in my pissed state xx

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  9. Oh Kylie, these are all the reasons I don't watch pretentious "reality tv" cooking shows! You've hit the nail on the head!

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