You Know You're Getting Old When You Get Excited About A Vacuum Cleaner

**Disclaimer** I love Dyson vacuum cleaners. Have done ever since my in-laws spent over $1000 on one and I saw what that baby could do. It's the first time I've ever gotten excited about a household appliance and had appliance envy. So one Christmas, about 4 years ago, after hearing me carry on about how amazing this thing was, my Dad and step-Mum bought me one. Can I hear a hell yeah! I love that thing. So I was super excited when the market research company that I'm subscribed to was looking for people to test a new Dyson hand-held vac. I replied to that email so quick that even the Internet got whiplash! So in the interest of full-disclosure, the hand-held vac I mention in this post has been given to me for 4 weeks to test out and if I like it I then have the option of buying it half-price at the end. Anyone can join this market research company and you don't have to be a blogger, I'm not required or obliged to blog about it but because I am a loser like that I am. Just so we're clear. Oh, and I haven't even used the bloody thing yet. And this post has really turned it to a ramble not only about vacuum cleaners. **End Disclaimer**

So basically that disclaimer up there has pretty much summed up this whole blog post. Maybe I should just leave it at that. Just one big disclaimer.

Seriously though, I'm getting old. Not in my wildest teen dreams did I ever think that one day I would be getting a hard-on for a vacuum cleaner. I mean, I am the laziest bitch around, housework is not a word that features heavily in my vocabulary, just ask Dave! So the fact that I am actually excited about a bloody hand-held vac is just ridiculous. Ridiculous!

10 points if you get which movie I'm referring to both in this picture and at the end of this post.
Again. Seriously. I haven't even opened the box and I'm already writing a blog post about the damn thing. Bitch better be good!

When I got the email looking for people to test out a new hand-held vac I was so excited. Mostly because I had actually asked Dave to get me one for Christmas, didn't matter what brand, it just had to be something I could suck up the dropped food from under Punky's high-chair with. Plus, when I got the email back to say that I had been chosen to test-drive it I was excited too because it meant that it would save Dave buying me a Christmas present and that meant that I could then try to bribe him in to making my Christmas present (and my next birthday present too mind you!) a ticket to the Digital Parents Conference in March.

Amazingly he has agreed that my Christmas and birthday present can indeed be a ticket to Digital Parents Conference. Now I just need to suck up the courage (pun absolutely intended!) to actually buy the ticket and go!

I'm really hoping this hand-held vac lives up to my high expectations. My highest expectation being that Punky won't actually be scared of this one like she is the big vacuum and that it will indeed be light enough to get her using it herself! Heck, if she can vacuum with her little toy vacuum cleaner than why the hell shouldn't she do it with the real thing and start earning her keep?

Judging by her reaction to the noise of the drill the other day though, I doubt she will take too quickly to the hand-held vac but one can dream can't they? The kid doesn't even flinch when a massive jet plane comes in to land over the top of the house, or a bloody F18 screams past on a fly-by (for those who aren't aware of just how loud that is, go hang out on the tarmac at your local international airport next to a plane revving it's engine before take-off and you'll get the idea) but she takes off running if I start the vacuum cleaner and within minutes there be tears! Strange kid. I'm thinking maybe I didn't do enough vacuuming while she was in the womb!

Anyhoo, that's the extent of the excitement in my life this week. Getting a hand-held vac to test out. It's not quite the easy money that sitting around talking about baby food and formula for two hours, while eating excellent food with endless drinks of my choice, and then walking out the door with an envelope of cash was, but its still pretty damn cool. And my house might actually be all the cleaner for it!

So are there any other losers out there like me that get a hard-on for a certain house-hold appliance? And is anyone else going to Digital Parent's Conference in March? Can I hide behind your skirt?

Oh, and by the way, it's Tuesday bitches! And you know what that means dontcha! It's IBOT with Jess time. And if you don't know what I'm talking about then go bow down at the feet of Jess and tell repeat "We're not worthy! We're not worthy!"


always Josefa said…
Absolutely brilliant and hilarious! My can't live without household appliance is....the coffee machine! The balance of my day (and everyone else's) rests on that fabulous thing! As for DPCON13 - still undecided - hopefully I can make a decision soon xx
PS Have fun, when you actually open the box!
Ai Sakura said…
We have a handheld vac and it is a lifesaver! :) I don't have time to vacuum everyday do it really helps in sucking out the crap from sofa and the floor every now and then. I get excited about household appliances too. The last major one I got was a clothe steamer because I hate ironing haha.

Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Housewife in Heels said…
I totally get your 'love a dyson/ hate cleaning' mentality. I once tried to be a 'fun' mum and vacuumed my then 12 month old with the vacuum cleaner. He didn't think it was fun, and spent then next year and a half with a vacuum phobia. All the best with the DP Conference!
mrsdsmaundering said…
I soo wish I'd purchased a Dyson instead of my stupid Hoover - will look forward to reading hearing your verdict.
Kirsty @ My Home Truths said…
I would love a Dyson. Actually I would love a vacuum that actually works. I have one that has crap suction and another that has a broken attachment. Unless I want to go about on my hands and knees the vacuuming just doesn't happen around here - so I get your excitement, I really do! And I wish I was able to go to DPCON this year and meet you and other awesome bloggers but it's not going to happen - have a fantastic time!
Amy Wells said…
I would also love a new vacuum because is pretty damn old. I'm sure if I had a newer, better one I'd enjoy vacuuming more.... And then it would be ' party time! Excellent! Scha-wing! ' ;)
ColoursofSunset said…
We need a new hand-held vac. Will be interested to hear how it goes when you test it out! As for household appliances, we recently went 4 weeks without a washing machine because ours broke and the extended warranty people couldn't get their shit together. The day they delivered my new machine I was beyond elated. I even posted a pic on IG of me and the machine, a grin from ear to ear! Enjoy your toy! I think in 4 weeks you'll be up for half the cost! ;-) x Aroha
I'd love one of those hand held jobbies. I had a play with it at the bloggers brunch and loved it. We have hard wood floors and the stairs are a bitch to clean. Doubt I'll be getting one any time soon though, there are always more exciting things to spend money on.
Rita said…
I hate vacuuming. Maybe I'll need one of those to enjoy a little bit more this house chore.
Mrs Holsby said…
I really hate vacuuming, like, I'd rather clean the toilet kind of vibe. That said, I want one of these little babies so that I can pick up food after meal times.

Someone suggested I get a dog, but I like dogs less than vacuuming!
Grace said…
I'll see ya there! But no hiding, 'k? I'll find you, anyway!
Who wouldn't want to play with a Dyson? Especially if it's hand held. Just whip it out and it does the job.
Emily said…
I totally adore my hand held vac, it's no Dyson but man I'd LOVE one. It's just a shame I hate housework so much that I doubt any appliance could fix my loath of it . Emily @ Have a laugh on me
Tracey @ Bliss Amongst Chaos said…
Ha ha! I love this, one big disclaimer and all!
I don't have a hand held but I really would like one. Anything to make this whole cleaning crap easier. In fact I would just like a frickin product that would prevent the mess in the first place! :)
EssentiallyJess said…
Oh it's hilarious what getting old does to us! I'd be just as excited if I got a dyson!
Kylie Purtell said…
10 points to you Amy, and a bonus 100 for adding in your own quote! Love it!
Sophie Allen said…
Lurve my Dyson! I need a hand held though!!
Luke said…
Wayne's World! Party Time! Excellent! Weeoohweeohweeooh!
Ohh hubby won't let me get a Dyson handheld - he says that I have a proper Dyson and a dustbuster and since I don't do the cleaning I can shut up about it. I argue that I use the dustbuster so therefore I should have a Dyson one because they are better. He won't agree :( The dustbuster was the best parenting product I have ever bought, $60 and it picks up wet & dry kid-spills... I still want a Dyson though.
Rhianna said…
My girls were exactly the same, noisy plane no worries, V8 racing cars - love them. Stupid vacuum cleaner, scream like there is no tomorrow! Also I recently purchased a rather expensive vac and am so so in love with, that I totally get what you mean in this post, as one lazy ass to another ;)
Neddy was the same, hated the sound of the vacuum. When he was six months old we tried gymbaroo and he lost it at the end of every session when everyone gets a set of maracas to shake. Seriously went hysterical. I cracked up laughing at his reaction and the other mums looked at me like I was some mean mummy. It has only been until recently that Ned will stay in a public toilet when the hand driers are going. Seriously, until about 3 months ago he used to make me promise not to use one when we went in there and when other people did he'd bolt for the door or get this really worried look on his face. On the other hand, my niece Mala, doesn't even flinch.

Re vacuums, I really really want a handheld, easy to use vacuum to pick up all the crumbs and shit that fall off Ned all day long. Would love to know what you think of this one. I've had duster busters in the past that are crapola so will only invest in one if it is really good. A robotic vacuum would be awesome too.
Alicia O'Brien said…
Agreed, I have a dyson, love it! Summer has been a dream with the vacuum cleaner, I could vacuum around her when she slept as a baby. Now she tries climbing on it when it is going! Although she shit herself, and was clawing the lounge like a madwoman trying to disappear into the wall when they tv accidently went onto whit noise at full boar on the weekend!

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