Perception. It's all in your head.
The lovely Essentially Jess wrote a post the other day entitled Integrity. In it she wrote (and I hope she won't mind me directly quoting her)...
Jess' post got me thinking and of course, as usual, I left a long rambling comment on her post.
I've always said perception is all in your head. And I don't mean that it's not real or anything like that, but it's something that is unique to you. No-one else is going to perceive things in the same way that you do, about everything, all of the time. How you perceive something comes down to your own personal story. Your life experiences. Your emotional state at any given time.
Perception is something that can screw with the best of intentions. Or be completely spot-on. But it is almost always subjective, and is more often than not different to what the actual person you're perceiving is thinking and feeling.
We often do things with the best of intentions, but particularly with the written word, its very easy for people to misconstrue what we are trying to convey or mean. I've gotten in to trouble many times in my life because of it.
It's why now, I tend to write very fence-sitterish posts unless its something I'm seriously passionate about, I shy away from talking about anything hugely controversial with people I don't know very well, and will often keep my opinions on certain things to myself until I have sussed a person and their situation out enough to be able to determine whether or not its worth my time to voice my opinion and potentially get in to an argument.
If you know me well you know that I am not normally one to shy away from an argument or sharing my opinion. But that is because I know you. I know your situation, and, I hope, I know you well enough that I can voice said opinion without offending you too much and can have a meaningful dialogue about it, rather than incite a knee-jerk reaction or unintentionally hurt the person I'm speaking with.
One of the things I've come to love about blogs and blogging is the way it has opened me up to different ideas and opinions on things. I love to learn. I love to hear people's perspective on something, especially if it's different to mine, as I find I learn a lot from the experience, and quite often my opinion or perception will be changed or softened, simply because I had never thought about something in that particular way because, as I said above, my life experiences or emotional state is different to everyone else's.
I like to say that I don't care what people think of me but if I'm to be totally honest, I do. I think everyone does, to a certain extent. And it's not totally a bad thing. Caring about what people think of me is what allows me to grow, change and mature. It allows me to think about parts of my personality and life that perhaps aren't that great and need to be worked on. It's a bit of double-edged sword though, because if you worry or think about it too much it can hold you back and stop you from letting your true self shine through. Whatever your true self is.
I don't think anyone other than you will ever really know your true self. Even with those we are closest to, there is still always a part of us that only we will truly know. How's that for a philosophical sentence!
What is the point of this post? Honestly, I don't really know. It's just some thoughts that I've had lately, over the last few months or so, due to things going on in my life and the lives of people I know, thoughts that have been sparked by blog posts like Jess'.
Most of the time I think my posts come out a lot like how I speak in offline life (do they Kel, Belinda? You'll have to tell me based on your own perceptions) and I don't often blog 'heavier' or more philosophical stuff because those are the thoughts I keep for myself and those I am closest to, those who know me best.
I wonder how those who read this blog perceive me, do I come across as split-personality to you as it seems to me, as lame and shallow as I seem to myself? And do I really want to know? I don't think it would change how I blog, the things I post or the way I write, so does it really matter? Do you wonder these things too or I am just rambling nonsensically as usual? Just with less swear words!
Linking this post up with Jess, because it's Tuesday and I Blog on Tuesday. Do you?
I’ve got a situation preying on my mind. I won’t go into details because I don’t think that’s right, but suffice to say it has got me thinking about character and what is really important. Even more, what do I want to be known for?...
...I know that we’re not supposed to care what people think of us, and I agree wholeheartedly in that concept....
...Having said that, I also believe that peoples perceptions about us are incredibly important, and can inhibit or encourage us. And those perceptions generally come from our actions, or whatever they are perceived to be.
Jess' post got me thinking and of course, as usual, I left a long rambling comment on her post.
I've always said perception is all in your head. And I don't mean that it's not real or anything like that, but it's something that is unique to you. No-one else is going to perceive things in the same way that you do, about everything, all of the time. How you perceive something comes down to your own personal story. Your life experiences. Your emotional state at any given time.
Perception is something that can screw with the best of intentions. Or be completely spot-on. But it is almost always subjective, and is more often than not different to what the actual person you're perceiving is thinking and feeling.
We often do things with the best of intentions, but particularly with the written word, its very easy for people to misconstrue what we are trying to convey or mean. I've gotten in to trouble many times in my life because of it.
It's why now, I tend to write very fence-sitterish posts unless its something I'm seriously passionate about, I shy away from talking about anything hugely controversial with people I don't know very well, and will often keep my opinions on certain things to myself until I have sussed a person and their situation out enough to be able to determine whether or not its worth my time to voice my opinion and potentially get in to an argument.
If you know me well you know that I am not normally one to shy away from an argument or sharing my opinion. But that is because I know you. I know your situation, and, I hope, I know you well enough that I can voice said opinion without offending you too much and can have a meaningful dialogue about it, rather than incite a knee-jerk reaction or unintentionally hurt the person I'm speaking with.
One of the things I've come to love about blogs and blogging is the way it has opened me up to different ideas and opinions on things. I love to learn. I love to hear people's perspective on something, especially if it's different to mine, as I find I learn a lot from the experience, and quite often my opinion or perception will be changed or softened, simply because I had never thought about something in that particular way because, as I said above, my life experiences or emotional state is different to everyone else's.
--------------------
I like to say that I don't care what people think of me but if I'm to be totally honest, I do. I think everyone does, to a certain extent. And it's not totally a bad thing. Caring about what people think of me is what allows me to grow, change and mature. It allows me to think about parts of my personality and life that perhaps aren't that great and need to be worked on. It's a bit of double-edged sword though, because if you worry or think about it too much it can hold you back and stop you from letting your true self shine through. Whatever your true self is.
--------------------
I don't think anyone other than you will ever really know your true self. Even with those we are closest to, there is still always a part of us that only we will truly know. How's that for a philosophical sentence!
--------------------
What is the point of this post? Honestly, I don't really know. It's just some thoughts that I've had lately, over the last few months or so, due to things going on in my life and the lives of people I know, thoughts that have been sparked by blog posts like Jess'.
Most of the time I think my posts come out a lot like how I speak in offline life (do they Kel, Belinda? You'll have to tell me based on your own perceptions) and I don't often blog 'heavier' or more philosophical stuff because those are the thoughts I keep for myself and those I am closest to, those who know me best.
I wonder how those who read this blog perceive me, do I come across as split-personality to you as it seems to me, as lame and shallow as I seem to myself? And do I really want to know? I don't think it would change how I blog, the things I post or the way I write, so does it really matter? Do you wonder these things too or I am just rambling nonsensically as usual? Just with less swear words!
Linking this post up with Jess, because it's Tuesday and I Blog on Tuesday. Do you?
Comments
I do like your "rambles" :p makes you very relatable on the blog and feels like I'm listening to an old friend talk ;)
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Maybe we all go through this?
I think it is just the way life is - hmmmmm - I'm still thinking about this one (as you can see!)
xx
And I couldn't agree more - there will ALWAYS be a part of you that only you will know. I was thinking about that today, part of my self-centeredness I guess...
I don't think your posts come across as shallow or lame, I think it comes across as you ranting and raving like you do. The problem I have is, you talk quite fast, so when I read, because it sounds like you, I try and read quite fast, and I think to myself "Slow down Kyles, take a breath!" but I'm pretty sure that's only because I'm imagining you saying it, and not because you type too fast.
Thanks, it certainly did go well, I'm actually really interested to see how we go this week. There is definitely a blog post about it brewing I think!
It is important to know how people think of us, so we can improve, but we do need that balance of not caring as well. You've put it perfectly in saying that it's a double edged sword.
Which is why I'm trying to learn to hold back judgement. Whether it be a world wide story like Lance Armstrong's or someone much closer to home. The more often we learn how to see a situation, any situation, with an open mind, the more chance that we'll eventually have one.
Visiting from IBOT.
Lol, I definitely do talk too fast don't I! And I think I do type too fast sometimes, it's why there are so many mistakes all the time!
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