Word Abuse

There are many different types of abuse, but today I would like to talk about one that's dear to my heart. It effects many of us on a daily basis yet we sweep it under the carpet, for fear of telling other people what we really think and risk offending them. Well today I am taking a stand and speaking my mind.

Word Abuse.

It comes in many different forms and we're all guilty of it.

What's that you say? You're not guilty of it? Please bitch, don't make me laugh. You're either living in denial or you really are perfect. If it's the former, read on. If it's the latter? Well, kindly piss off then, God knows we don't need perfect types around here!
No children were harmed in the making of this picture. Sadly, some words might have been.
The first form of word abuse I'd like to acknowledge today is the Overuse form.

Overuse Word Abuse (say that three times quickly!) often occurs without a person knowing it. For years sometimes, a person can live in ignorant bliss of their overusing word abuse, due in part to the fact that people are often too afraid to point out this abuse in someone.

Most often seen in teenagers of the female persuasion, this overuse abuse almost always includes the word 'Like'. Other common words found to be overused by these strangely hormonal, emotionally-fragile creatures are 'you know', 'whatever' and 'that's so unfair'.

However these words are not restricted to the over use of said female teens. The word 'Like' has been known to be overly-peppered through the conversations of 30-something year old men and women alike, especially that of certain husbands (not mentioning any names, Dave). 'Um' is another oft abused word.

Well today, I am doing my bit to acknowledge this affliction, because, as we all know, admitting you have a problem is the first step to overcoming that problem.

So ladies and gentleman (I say gentleman singular coz I'm pretty sure there is only one man who reads this blog, maybe two if it's a lucky day!) I confess to you that my name is Kylie and I overuse abuse the word 'totally'.

It's something I have really only become aware of recently and I'm not sure how long it's been a problem for but I vow to reduce my abuse of the word immediately. Other words I am known to overuse abuse are 'hectic' 'awesome' and 'Da-aaave'.

These poor words are overworked and underpaid. Words such as 'shit' and 'fuck' are made to Overuse Abuse, it's part of their job, but what the fuck did 'totally' ever do to me that I want to take it out and parade it in every second paragraph?

Another form of Word Abuse is much more sinister and again, most often starts with those strangely hormonal, over-emotional teenagers, of  both the male and female persuasion.

It starts off small, heard in the odd conversation here or there, until one day, its insidious infection of our language is complete and its being used by everybody from all walks of life, professionally and personally.

Ladies and gentleman, I am talking about the horrendous act of shortening words. Words like the one I mentioned above, 'totally'.

Now sure, I may be an overuse abuser of the word, but one thing I will never, ever do, is use the shortened form of the word. In fact I am loathe to even type it on this blog, but in the interests of public health I will.


People, I am here to tell you that this word is just not an acceptable abbreviation to be used by anyone over the age of 15 or under the age of 13. Unless of course it's followed by the words 'mah goats'. Or you're a Triple J presenter. And even then it's questionable, particularly from aging punk rockers.

'Totes ma goats' is an acceptable use of the word 'totes', but seriously people, it ends here. Now.
{Image Source}
Unless of course you are using the word 'totes' ironically I just can't abide it's abuse any longer. Poor 'totally' already has to endure the agony of my overuse time and time again, so to then really put the boot in by shortening it to 'totes'?

Well. That's just fucking mean! Won't somebody think of the 'ly'?

There are some words that should just never be uttered by a human ever again, and they include, but are not limited to, 'totes', 'sliver' and 'reals'. Yes. 'Reals'. I hate to break it to everyone but the word 'real' does not gain anything by having an 's' added to the end of it. In fact, the word 'real' hates to have an 's' added to the end of it.

How do I know this. Because the word 'Kylez' also hates having a 's' added to the end of it. That's why. Two words. Nuclear fucking weapons ok!

And while we are on the subject of names, just so you know. My name is Kylie. 'Kylez' or 'Kie' are acceptable alternatives to Kylie. But NEVER 'Kyle'. 'Kyle' is a boys name, it's a whole other name to Kylie and I won't be called it, you hear!

Now, is there anything else I've missed? I'm sure there are words that you too are guilty of Overuse Abusing, so please, for the good of your soul, confess them in the comments. And so that I can continue to build my list of unacceptable word-shortening, please let me know of other horrendous examples you have heard around the place, or, heaven forbid, use yourself.

And if you are a 'totes' offender then I will grant you leniency but you have been warned!

This is a safe place to share and I will totally (do'h!) be sympathetic to your confessions. But I won't totes be.

I'm linking this post up today with the always totally awesome Grace at With Some Grace for Flog Yo Blog Friday. And in case you're wondering, 'yo' is a completely acceptable form of word-shortening.

Also, 10 points to the person who can tell me what song I've referenced somewhere in this post.


ann said…
Totes agree with you Kyle!! Like whatever!! The song is Asshole and is one of my faves!!
Amy xxoo said…
Don't shoot me but, sometimes, I say 'totes'. Most of the time I do it ironically but sometimes I say it because I like to. I think I'm trying to recapture my youth or something....
Kel said…
Totes love this post! And when you mentioned the habit of using the word 'like', I like totes thought of Dave straight away!
Kel said…
What about 'spesh' (as in special)?
Alison said…
I use spesh as well, oh and eps, but that's mainly to annoy my children. Frankly, my entire spoken and occasionally written conversation is often a study in the crappy use of language - fortunately I take an obscure delight in irritating others so it's totes not a prob, for me at least.
Kylie Purtell said…
Lol, I will accept 'spesh' but only in special circumstances!
Kylie Purtell said…
Dave is the absolute worst for 'Like'. It drives me crazy!
Kylie Purtell said…
I have been known to eps myself, mostly when I am feeling lazy and typing about a tv show, or on twitter, where the use of abbreviated words is totally acceptable, except for the word totes! Lol! ANd I use prob too, again mostly in typing, but I have been known to say it as well.
Kylie Purtell said…
Bahahahahaha! I wish I could totally 'Like' this comment, it's gold. And 10 points to you, it's one of my faves too!
Kylie Purtell said…
I won't shoot you Amy, but only because I really like you!
Ai Sakura said…
Guilty of using "totes" too but usually when I'm just texting haha I then to overuse "anyway" and "omg" quite often I think :p oops!

Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Talia said…
Haha! I'm guilt for "You know?" ALL. THE. TIME. It drives even ME batty!
I have also said "totes" but this is mostly just to piss of Luke who actually gets MAD when I say it. Haha!
Unknown said…
I'm like, so totes agreeing with ya. But, whateva!

I don't use totes.. that was my first time!! I am such a 'good' girl and never have taken to swearing.. and we've just had Master 8 try it on for the first time. He is wishing he didn't!
Lydia C. Lee said…
I was guilty of 'like' in my youth, and am now guilty of 'um'. I know because my parents used to go nuts at 'like' and now my husband does about 'um'...same, same but different...
I have never even heard of "totes". Noone I know or met, has to my knowledge, ever said that around me. I think I would hit them if they did.

What will set me off into a word rage is when people end a sentence with "but". I always reply (much to their annoyance) "but what??".

Now I think of it, there are some other crimes against the English language I could rant about, but will hold off for today! (Please note: proper usage of the word "but" in that sentence!!!!!)

(via FYBF)
Anonymous said…
Love it, love it, love it!
I can't even put together a tongue in cheek sentence as those words irk me to the core.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
via FYBF
Me N my Monkeys said…
My sister in-law uses this word and it drives me crazy. i actually just sent her a little snippet of this post. ;)
Like, bitch that is the most reals post ever! Lol
Great post, I've found myself taking to saying "whatever" after chastising my teenage daughter for saying it. She also irritates me with "dude", I am not a dude, don't call me that!
Anonymous said…
I don't know what most of those abbrevs mean! I definitely overuse the prase "You know"...I hate hearing recordings of myself and hear it used over and over again. Great post! x
Me said…
LOL - I don't think I overuse any word but I do overuse !!!!! I can't type without putting them in !
Another word that gets me is 'youse' - even if you are talking about a group of people - there is no plural !!!!!
What I found so fascinating when we first moved to Australia was how the news readers abbreviated words. "This arvo there is an accident ...." "Now that it is holiday season all the relos will be visiting ...." - it drives me nuts !!
Have the best day !
Kylez (not Kyle!) thank you for writing this - I agree with every word. Thankfully for me, my husband is a high school teacher and I KNOW when I'm overusing words, particularly those he hears constantly for 6 hours every day. The word or phrase I detest with a passion is "my bad". It does not make any grammatical sense and it should not be uttered by anyone, particularly by adults who should know better!
EssentiallyJess said…
I have said the word totes more than if like to admit, as well as tomoz which always makes boatman shake his head.
You know is used way too much, as is 'seriously!' but I refuse to give that up!
Enid Bite'Em said…
Oh and don't forget cray-cray for crazy. When I was a teenager, my friend and I watched Wayne's World maybe, I don't know, ten times, and thought it was hilarious to say 'good call' to each other whenever someone said something funny ... until it became such a habit we weren't even saying it tongue-in-cheek anymore and EVERYONE LOOKED AT US LIKE WE WERE WEIRDOS for speaking boganese Americano ... come to think of it, we probably were weirdos :)
I Like totally overuse the the word totally too. The other one I seem to have learned from the kids is "Random". I use that way too often and mostly as an insult to strangers who piss me off in shopping centres.... ;) x
Agree, like, totally :)
Azara said…
This is awesome. Love it! I have a little problem with "totally" too. I don't know why - it's not like I usually do things partially. I use "actually" so often that I have to re-read my posts before I publish them to make sure I haven't peppered every sentence with "actually" or "totally". Oh well, my bad. Hahahaha!!
Azara said…
Oh, and I went back and read some of your other posts and enjoyed them. So now I'm your 200th follower - woot woot! Hehe...I'm sorry; it's hard to stop the word abuse.
MPS shortens every fricken word and it drives me batshit crazy.

He was saying KFC before even the Colonel thought it was a good idea.

I am pretty sure that eventually he will just say the first letter of every word and I will lose my mind.
Unknown said…
I've tried to comment twice now with really witty remarks and lost it both times thanks to my internet connection freaking out. Basically, what I tried to say is that Ned repeats all my overused words, including, but not limited to:


Words that are overused that I don't like but sometimes find myself saying:



PS. Fingers crossed when I hit publish this works.

I am totally guilty of totally overusing totally! Love this post! :=)
Bachelormum said…
Awesome is a fave in our household as is 'whatever' from my darling poppet. And me? I think I use the word 'no' too much, and I'm trying to become a yes girl in the most wackiest sense ... Like my new partner wanting to buy me a new tote bag, I said no, but if goats can have tote bags maybe I can too.

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