One of Those Posts That's About Everything and Nothing All At the Same Time

I was lying in bed the other night and I had this awesome idea for a blog post. I had the whole thing written out in my head and as I lay there I kept refining my words until it was perfect.
This post is the result of sleep deprivation and insomnia. As you
can see from the above picture, when you've got two laptops going,
with about 20 open tabs between them, not to mention using your
iPad and iPhone at the same time, you've clearly got problems.
Or no life. One of the two. Or perhaps both.
Tell me I'm not alone!

The only problem was, it was 2am and I didn't have anything to write this awesome idea on. I was too lazy to actually get out of bed and go in to the next room, in fact I was so lazy I couldn't even be bothered to roll over and pick up my phone and jot down this blog post that would have blown your mind.

That's how lazy I am. I take laziness to a whole new level people.

So of course the next day, when I actually sat down to write a blog post I couldn't bloody remember for the life of me this awesome blog post idea. So fucking annoying!

You know what else is annoying? The way I keep losing bobby pins. Seriously, I have literally owned thousands of the things, for me wedding hairstyle alone they used over 300 (and it was only half up, that's how thick my hair is!). yet do you think I can ever find one of the little fuckers?

No. Those bastards are never there when I need them. Seriously, it's worse than socks. Where do they go??? I certainly haven't picked up that many bobby pins that I would need to be buying more on a semi regular basis, and I know I'm not just vacuuming them up because you can hear them when they go up the tube.

I bet they're off having a bloody party with all the missing socks. One day they are going to find this giant black hole and it will just be filled with odd socks and lost bobby pins, getting it on in some kind of super-freaky warehouse-style rave.

I'd also like to know where all our teaspoons are going. We used to have so many but over the last few months they have just been disappearing. It's so bizarre. I mean, socks and bobby pins I can almost kind of understand and accept, it's been happening for so many years, but teaspoons? Dave doesn't believe me but I know it's happening.

I used to think that someone was coming in to our house while we were both at work, touching and using our stuff and then taking it with them. I used to worry that I would get home from work one day when Dave was on afternoon shift to find the random person that lived in our roof and came in the house when we were out hadn't gotten back up there quick enough and was soaking in the bathtub or cooking a meal in the kitchen.

Why did I think this? Because shit just goes missing in this house and turns up in the weirdest of places, and a place where I didn't and never would have put it, I'm sure. Dave swears he hasn't touched stuff when I ask him where it's at so I can only assume it's the person living in the roof. I'm not too angry though, I mean he lives in a roof. With rats. Rats!

So anyway, here ends my ridiculous post about nothing. The Seinfeld post if you will. In case you were wondering, I'm not drunk. Or stoned. But it is 12:30 at night, I have to be up to start work in the morning, not to mention deal with the munchkin, and I am suffering from that awesome combination that is sleep deprivation and insomnia. Isn't mother nature a bitch! Just when you think, yippee, I might get some relief from the insomnia because I've not had much sleep for the past year, she pulls a fast one on ya!

Have you noticed I use a lot of exclamation marks?

I'm linking this post up with the awesome Grace and the ever so wonderful Bree for Flash Yo Blog Friday. I mean Flog Blog Friday. Whatever.

P.S. Don't forget to come back next week where I reveal an awesome new monthly series, possibly with linky love. It'll be like free love on the Internet!


Me said…
Oh man - so happy to find someone - anyone - else who has great blog ideas in bed (or the car or the bath or the shop) and can't remember them when they sit down to blog !!!! Maybe you are my long lost sister / cousin / aunty - somehow related friend ????
Have the best day.
Kel said…
We'll have to just take your word for it about the mind blowing post hey? Lazy bugger. No wonder roof man picked your roof, look how much he can get away with! And I was going to say you should host a linky, woo hoo!
Kylie Purtell said…
I am seriously shocking with this! I have all my best ideas while lying in bed trying to fall asleep. And on nights like that one, when I am too lazy to actually record the thought I always forget it and it was always a great one. I think we are totally long-lost random sisters! Lol!
Kylie Purtell said…
I know! I am so annoyed coz it seriously was a good idea, and I actually remember thinking to myself "this is such a good idea there is no way I will forget it" to justify my laziness. Dickhead! I'm staring to have serious issues with roof-man and these teaspoons though, I am so over washing up teaspoons every time I want to make a tea or coffee coz I can now only find about 3!
School of Mum said…
Love Seinfeld! Talking about everything and nothing is the story of my life. I get blog ideas at stupid times too and I keep trying to tell myself over and over the idea so I don't forget it until I finally have to do something else, like eat,sleep,get out of the shower and BANG! The idea is gone. So annoying!
Catherine Rodie said…
I SO relate to this. I am always blogging in my sleep (or when I'm drfiting off to sleep) they are the best posts I've ever written and yet no one has been able to read them as they remain forever in my subconscious! x
Grace said…
LOL! Too funny!
I love getting random ideas for blogging. I love it even more when I find that I'm laughing at myself over a post in my head. Crazy, much?
If you ever need some bobby pins, I have a whole stack. I still can't bear to part with the ones that I used for my wedding...that's how much of a hoarder I am!
Unknown said…
I too have great post ideas in the most random places!! I also use a lot of exclamation points!! Haha.
This is hilarious! Definitely could write a show about this :)
When you find your teaspoons can you please tell my teaspoons to get home, now?
Bill said…
The thing about those 2am ideas is that they often only *seem* brilliant in the half-asleep fog. On the couple of occasions when I've actually been with-it enough to write or record those 2am ideas, when I've come back to them in the morning, I realised that they weren't half as good as I thought they were at the time. I use that experience to console myself for every brilliant 2am idea I've lost since.
joeh said…
Naw, your man is moving stuff. Don't believe him...we lie!

cranky old man
You needed to link up with For Fuck Sake Friday...someone runs that linky party, but I'm always pleased to have you. P.S. I have the same issue with bobby pins :-)
Louise said…
Love this! Your bobby pins are clearly off partying with our hair slides, bobbles and pop socks!! Off to track you down on Twitter! :-D
You know there was a guy in Japan that lived in the top of a chicks wardrobe for YEARS and only ate her cereal.

Check your wardrobe.

And don't buy cereal.
Kylie Purtell said…
Oh yes, I do the same thing. You think if you can just repeat it enough times there is no way you'll forget it. Never works, never!
Kylie Purtell said…
Isn't it annoying! The people in my brain think I'm a blogging superstar but sadly the rest of the world wil never know!
Kylie Purtell said…
I am always laughing at my blog posts in my head and then I press publish and think to myself, shit, is that only gonna be funny to me? And thei re-read it about a million times to try and reassure myself that it is slightly funny and not just stupid! I was going to keep all of my wedding bobby pins but one day I was in desperate need and used a few and it just progressed from there. Now that are either scattered around my house or partying it up in that black hole!
Kylie Purtell said…
I don't know what it is about exclamation marks, but I just seem incapable of ending a sentence with out one! Or two!!
Kylie Purtell said…
Sometimes, when I'm doing stuff around myself and notice random and strange shit, I wonder if I'm actually in a Truman Show style thing and the director is messing me
Kylie Purtell said…
I certainly will! I better not find them though, otherwise there will be a bit of teaspoon ass kicking going on!
Kylie Purtell said…
You're exactly right Bill, it's just like they say in How I Met Your Mother...nothing good ever happens after 2am.
Kylie Purtell said…
Lol, I just know it is him. He probably goes off to work and has a good laugh at the guys at my expense.
Kylie Purtell said…
For Fuck Sake Friday, that certainly sounds like my kind of Ning. Will definitely have to find that one. But I will always link up with you, your links is just too hot, how could I not!
Kylie Purtell said…
Yep, and my hair elastics and clips are so totally tending the bar at this party. Shitheads!
My grandmother had a thing for teaspoons.

You would always find a few in her bag, a few less in the drawer.

Perhaps you have a theiving granny in your midst?

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