Help! Daughter Don't Doze | Kylie Purtell - Capturing Life

Friday, 10 August 2012

Help! Daughter Don't Doze

My daughter has decided she don't doze during the day and I'm at a loss for what to do about it!

Punky is 8.5 months old, going on 18, or so it seems! It's amazing how a child so small can have an attitude so big already! I am seriously freaking out about the actual teen years with her.

A bit of background...
We've had our sleep ups and downs as you do with a new baby, but she was by no means as bad as some of the horror stories you hear. In fact we were pretty lucky in that she settled in to good sleep patterns fairly easily.

In fact, she had gotten so good that by 5.5 months I was able to pop her down to bed for a day nap wide awake and she would roll around a bit before eventually just dropping off to sleep. Lucky, I know!

She sleeps pretty well at night. Some nights are worse than others, but most of the time she is not too bad and she goes off to sleep very well after her last feed of the night and the usual night-time routine.

But ever since she figured out how to pull herself up, about a month ago, she just doesn't want a bar of day sleeps. We had a rough week or so there when she was waking often through the night, to be expected when one has just learnt a new skill as exciting as standing up (who wants to waste time sleeping when you can be standing?!?!), but now I am really struggling to get her to go to sleep during the day.

Before, when I used to put her down, if she wasn't happy to go to sleep straight away it wasn't a problem, because usually after half an hour of rolling around she would drop off, no worries, with maybe one or two grizzles when I first put her down. But I knew eventually she would fall asleep.
Sleeping like a boss!
Mia's first night at home
But now the little bugger just stands up the minute I pop her in the cot and I am constantly going in and laying her back down, which just results in her sooking and me having to stand there patting her back till she is calm again, and quite frankly my back just can't handle it anymore. Doesn't matter whether she is super-tired, on the edge of tiredness, whatever, she just stands on up, bites on the side of the cot and hangs out.

I've tried leaving her in there, she doesn't cry or sook at all when she is standing, only when I go in and lay her down again, and I've left her to see if she wold eventually lie herself down and go to sleep but she doesn't. She just gets sick of being in there after about half an hour or so and yells for me to go and get her.

If I'm feeling desperate and she is just getting too over-tired and sooky I usually end up just trying to breastfeed her to sleep or rock with her in the rocker till she is asleep but it doesn't always work and it's not something I really want to have to do for every day sleep (she should be having two at her age but I would just be happy with one.) I've gone for walks with her in the pram, which sometimes works, but then other times, like last weekend, she just sits there, even if I have it covered over so she can't see anything and she doesn't have any toys. She then ended up sleeping for 45 minutes on Dave's lap while he watched the footy.

I worry about her getting in the habit of sleeping on someones lap, or being rocked or breastfed to sleep during the day (I'm less worried about it at night because she goes to sleep fine whether its being rocked, held, fed or just popped in the cot) but then I wonder if it really matters and maybe I should just go with that, and just do whatever works, but I just don't know. There is so much conflicting advice and to be honest, there isn't as much info and advice out there on getting  babies to sleep during the day as there is as night (that I've managed to find anyway). I've tried a few different things to try and signal that it's time to wind down and have a nap (like reading a book or singing a song)but it hasn't seemed to make any difference.

This sleep suit was a total life saver when we first got it. And surprisingly the transition out of it was easy as and
she was sleeping really well, sleep-suit-free, by about 5-6 months
If she was happy all day then I wouldn't worry so much but she's not, I can tell when she is tired and she gets grumpy and grizzly and all I know is, I can't deal with the constant sooking when she starts to get tired and I can't let her not have a day sleep and I can't just leave her in her cot to cry. I know in time things will probably work themselves out, that this is a huge period of development and learning and I have to expect sleep problems, but I do worry that if I am having trouble getting her to sleep now, how am I going to get her to have a day sleep in 6 months time?

So I'm just throwing it over to the blogosphere. I would love to hear what has and hasn't worked for you, if you think I should worry about it or just go with the flow, in your experience does it get better or worse? All advice and anecdotes welcome and I'm not looking for a miracle solution because I know there isn't one.

I understand that all children are different and what works for some won't necessarily work for others but I just really need to hear what other people say, if for nothing else than just to reassure myself that I'm not the only one this has happened to and that it will (fingers crossed) get better.

Linking this post up to Flog Yo Blog Friday  and Flash Blog Friday coz I need all the advice I can get!

20 comments:

  1. Hi. My daughter went through this when she learned to stand in her cot too. Thankfully it didn't last too long. I had to re-introduce the dummy and I gave her a snuggly comforter toy which occupied her while she drifted off to sleep. I put her in a grobag and then part of our routine was to tuck her in with just a sheet over the top. It was a bit of a cue for sleep time. I also found that putting her to bed a bit earlier (before she became over tired) helped us through this phase. Of course there were days when all of the above failed. I was told that if she wasn't asleep after 20 minutes to get her out of the cot for some quiet play and then try again later. You're right about all the confusing advice. You'll work out what works best for you two. These are just the things we did. All babies are different and it sounds like you're doing a great job :)

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    1. The grobag sounds like a good idea to try. We only put her in the sleeping bag at night time so it might be a good idea to try it during the day and see if it makes a difference. Thanks!

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  2. Sorry I don't have much advice to offer. While all three of my children slept during the day till past 2 years I am not exactly confident I instill good sleeping habits. We co sleep, fed to sleep and all that jazz. I really hope you find a way through it that works for you and Mia

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    1. So do I. I don't mind feeding or rocking to sleep, I'm just worried about when IMO not there and her settling for whoever is minding her. I think I need to just not worry about it and go with it. My sister looked after her today and managed to get her to have two sleeps for an hour or more each. She definitely has the touch better than I!

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  3. hang in there...

    For the cot biting we wrapped the top of the cot in thick material so she wouldn't wake up with pain chip around her mouth. For the standing we used a safety sleep (basically a staright jacket).

    We also did co sleeping, staying with her, feeding, patting and in the end just let her cry it out.

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    1. That's a great ideas for the cot, I might have to do t this weekend.

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    2. That's a great idea. We bought cot teething rails but they didn't fit our Boori cot.

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  4. I'm a first time mum with zero advice to offer, just a lot of empathy :) Good luck.

    P.s she is a real cutie :)

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  5. no advice here as it looks like you've tried EVERYTHING. all i say is don't worry about rocking her to sleep. she is only little for such a short time. in a year from now you'll look at her and go shit where did that time go, and she'll be running away playing and you'll be wanting those cuddles. nothing is forever, so hang in there. xo

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    1. My mother in law said the same thing, and I have to admit, I really like it when she falls asleep in my arms on the rocker, she so warm and snugly. I am definitely going to miss that when she is older.

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  6. Oh, it's a hard one.
    Have you read any of the Tizzy Hall or Gina Ford books? When the twins were newborns I didn't want to use those books (they tend to be very straight down the line, very black and white) but when they were around 8-9months (just like your little one), I relented and read the books.
    You just have to persist and keep putting her back down when she stands up.
    It took us a couple of weeks, but we eventually got there.
    Good luck!

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    1. I actually found Tizzy Hall's book in my spare room the other day when I was cleaning it out,totally forgot that I was given it before Mia was born. I had heard that it was rigid but I might give it a try any way.

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  7. Hunter was the worst with this. The heet with the velcro strap was recommended but iI wasn't keen. Instead woukd just continually go back in and lay him down, tucking him in really tight. It was a battle of wits, but eventually I won!

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    1. Gee, I didn't even know there was such a thing as sheets with velcro!

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  8. Sorry I can't help.

    Girl Child had two 15 minute sleeps a day until about 13 months old when she started having a proper day sleep again. Those months without proper day sleep drove me me a little crazy. But it got better eventually. I was told somechildren just did it.

    She's about to turn now but that no proper day sleep is etched in my mind.

    Good luck. I hope it's a short phase.

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    1. I hope it's a short phase too. I just keep telling myself that this too shall pass and not to stress too much about it. Easier said than done though!

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  9. Babies and sleep are a mystery to me! I'm amazed I've made it through. Best of luck. Bree

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    1. Thanks Bree! It's funny how it just feels like this will go on forever and I'm never gonna survive but i'm sure I will, with lots and lots of coffee! Lol!

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