Six Week Shake-Up

I just can't get enough of this face! So cute!

I'm not gonna lie to you.

This last week has been hard. Very hard. Punky has just been up and down and all over the place. She basically spent Saturday doing nothing but being fed, refusing to sleep and crying, crying, crying. Thank God Dave was off work coz I don't think I would have handled it on my own.

I have no idea what was wrong, except for maybe a delayed reaction to her needles that she had on Thursday, but she was fine after them and on Friday so I don't think it was that. She didn't sleep the best, she was waking up every two hours Friday night/Saturday morning, which is not like the usual routine of sleeping 4-5 hours, then waking for a feed, then sleeping another 3 hours and waking for another feed, it was barely every two hours and she was hungry!

My Mother-in-law did say when she was first born that at around 6 weeks babies tend to have a growth spurt and want to feed more and sometimes get quite whingy too, so I am hoping it is that and not something else.

The poor little munchkin has a fungal infection on her neck, in one of the folds of skin, so we have to clean it and put cream on three times a day and she is not impressed with it to say the least! But it's gotten so much better in just a couple of days so being 'cruel to be kind' is paying off.

I also took her to the doctor today to have her eye looked at because it's gotten a bit gunky and gross and she thinks it's a bacterial infection so now we have to give her eye drops as well. She doesn't seem as fussed by the eye drops though. To be honest, I think it's the fact that we have to hold her still to do her neck that she dislikes most, so as long as I am quick with the drops and get it in there while she is holding her head still herself she shouldn't be too fussed by it.

I don't like the whingy sookiness though, it makes me worry that there is something I'm doing or not doing to make her cry, and it breaks my heart hearing her. We spent a lot of time on Saturday trying to keep her occupied and interested in different things, and by the time I put her down for bed for the night I can say we both breathed a sigh of relief!

I'm prepared for the fact that there will most likely be plenty more days like that in the coming years, but I certainly hope it's a little while before it happens again! I'm sorry to say that I didn't handle it as well as I should have, I think the sleep deprivation of the previous week just caught up to me, and by about midday I was sitting on the bed crying while Dave tried to get her to sleep; he managed it, although she only slept for about half an hour and then wouldn't re-settle. I just felt so powerless to do anything and like I was doing something wrong that she would just be crying for nothing, as there was no obvious reason why she was so upset. Plus, I admit I got a little annoyed at Dave earlier in the day and took some of my frustration out on him which made me feel even worse.

The truth is, I sometimes feel a little jealous of Dave, going off to work where he doesn't have to be 'on-call' for Punky, and he doesn't have to worry about feeds and nappy changes, and he gets to come home and sleep all day without any interruptions; he can go to the gym whenever he wants without having to time it just right. It's been 7 weeks now and I haven't slept more than 3 continuous hours in a row, or had more than an hour to myself to go get a quick haircut and it's really starting to catch up with me.

And the worst part is, I feel guilty for feeling this way, and wanting to take a break, because I know that if given the choice I wouldn't want to leave her and go off to work or anything like that, but even just 4 hours of unbroken sleep, or a couple of hours to myself without worrying about being available for feeding, would be so good right now. But this is what I signed up for, and I knew (as well as you can) what I was getting myself in for so I have to suck it up.

I am so lucky to have my little munchkin, there are so many people who don't ever get to have what I have and I am so very thankful for that.

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