Friday Funny - All Puns Intended Part 2

1. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

2. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs !'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms !'

3. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

4. What do you call a fish with no eyes ?
A fsh.

5. Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, 'Dam !'

6. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were a bit cold, so they lit a fire in the craft.
It sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

7. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel,
And were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to
Disperse.
'But why,' they asked, as they moved off.
'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'

8. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.'
The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him 'Juan.'
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a
picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, 'They're twins ! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time,
Which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet,
He suffered from bad breath.
This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) .
A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends,
with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.
No pun in ten did.