Obligatory Twilight Post - ***SPOILERS***

Yes, that's right, Twilight. I read the Twilight series.

And I wasn't impressed. Not by a long shot.
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Let me start by saying this...the following is my own personal opinion. If you love Twilight, great! Couldn't be happier for you. If I was a teenage girl I probably would have loved it too. But I didn't. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it. I am going to say a few things that are just a little bit ranty and facetious. Because I can. So please, if you love Twilight, don't comment and tell me how wrong I am or try to correct my assumptions/assertions. Because I know everything you're going to say. I always play Devil's Advocate with myself when whinging about things, so I have an answer/response for both sides of an argument.

Don't get me wrong. The idea behind Twilight is a good one. The 'star-crossed' love story between Edward and Bella is a great one. It's just that Stephanie Meyer is NOT a good writer. Yes, I know, I'm no Pulitzer-prize winning novelist myself. But I know a well-written story when I read one.

And this is not.

There are four books in the Twilight saga. Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn.

The thing I found a bit strange about the whole thing was the way she falls for Edward so quickly. Not that I'm knocking love at first sight, or anything like that, I just found it strange that one day she's never heard of the guy, and then the very next she is utterly obsessed with him. (For the Twi-hards - I know this is because, as a vampire, he is supposed to be irresistible to her)

It's also a little pervy. She's 17 and he's 117 for Pete's sake! Now sure, physically, he doesn't age, but mentally, I have to wonder what could possibly be so appealing about a 17-year-old girl.
As I said. Just a little pervy.

The thing that really gets me though is how boring the first three-quarters of each book is! Seriously! Nothing happens! It's just Bella obsessing about Edward. Or Bella trying to get over Edward. Or Bella waxing poetic about how 'beautiful' Edward is. Seriously, this girl must have swallowed a thesaurus, coz the amount of different words she comes up with to say, basically the same thing, is ridiculous! I found myself skimming over all the paragraphs that contained the words 'beautiful' or 'perfection' that weren't in speech marks!

I also felt that there was no real 'depth' to Bella, she's pretty one-dimensional. And superficial. most of her superlatives about Edward are to do with his physical beauty and not his personality. I mean, the way I see it, Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes to the bone. And she never really seems to want to go more than skin-deep and find out what he's like underneath.

A lot of the 'action' feels contrived, like someone was reading the book and told Meyer...
"You know you really should think about dropping some action in here somewhere or people are going to fall asleep. If they haven't already."
This is particularly true of the second book.

*********************************Start Spoiler*************************************

In the second book, New Moon, Edward decides to leave Bella because he cares too much for her & can't stand to keep putting her in danger. So he leaves. And Bella spends the next 2 quarters of the book pining away for Edward, as if it's the end of the world.


You only knew him for a grand total of 6 months! I don't think anybody told this girl there are other fish in the sea. She gradually starts to get some life back as she becomes closer to Jacob (who's another story all together, I don't think I've ever been more annoyed at a character in my life!). But then out of the blue, just when you're starting to wonder where the token-action is, Alice comes to take Bella to Italy to save Edward.

He's gone to Italy to get the Volturi (vampire royalty and enforcers of vampire laws) to kill him because he can't live without Bella. And Bella and Alice have to save him. Best part of the whole book, because you get to learn about the Volturi and the vampire laws, etc, which is quite interesting. But man, what a slog to get to it!

The third book, Eclipse, isn't as bad as the second. In fact I would go as far to say that New Moon (2nd book) is the WORST book in the series. At least Eclipse has a little more action and intrigue, although Jacob continues to annoy. Just leave the girl alone and let her maker her own decisions for pete's sake!

My favourite book of the four is the last one, Breaking Dawn. And even then, it's only the last half that I really liked. Loved in fact....
***BIG SPOILER COMING ... ********************************************************************************
...as this is where she becomes a Vampire. I was staring to get really worried that she wouldn't end up being turned in to one, and that's pretty much all I was waiting for.

The Happy Ending. The Happily Ever After.

Meyer really should have explored Bella's transformation so much more! There was so much that could have been written about, and although I really liked it, I was left wanting more. And hoping that she writes another book, so that i can get more of Vamp-Bella. Who is soooo much cooler!

This is where I depart from the Twi-hards. From all I've heard, the Twi-hards were disappointed with the ending, especially the part about Bella and Edward having a half-breed baby (half-human, half-vampire, conceived before Bella was transformed, and what eventually lead to her death-bed, emergency transformation) but I actually don't mind it, maybe coz I'm so clucky!

Having said all that, you probably think I hate the books. I don't hate them. I'm just really disappointed because they could have been so much better. My suggestion to Stephanie Meyer, had I been her publisher, would have been to condense the first three books into and then expand the last book into two. But what do I know...the books are best-sellers, so maybe it's just me!

The thing I DID hate about the books was this...the editing/proof reading, whatever you call it. Whoever it was who was supposed to read through and make sure all words were spelt right, grammar was correct and that words weren't MISSING from sentences, yes, that's right, MISSING, should be SACKED!!!!! Because they did an appalling job. It is so bad! Even one of my sisters, who is not the best reader, found it frustrating, just the blatant mistakes that weren't picked up. I'm sorry, but show a little respect for the readers and GET IT RIGHT!!! It's like, in their rush to get more copies printed so they could make more money, they sent the wrong draft to the printer, the draft with all the mistakes left in. That's what really pissed me off the most. There is absolutely NO EXCUSE for that!

So, in closing my rant on Twilight, here's my suggestion...if you haven't read the books, don't bother, just watch the movies (I really enjoyed the Twilight movie as it was all the best bits from the book showcased in a super-succinct way, no boring bits here!) or be prepared for a few sloooooow bits.

If you really loved Twilight, what did you think about the poor proof-reading and all the mistakes? Did it annoy you? Detract from the story? Or did you not even notice it? Do you think I was let-down because I expected so much from the hype?


carly said…
i havent read the books. i dont plan to. the movie didnt do it for me. and it frustrated me how clingy and needy bella was to edward but then as soon as he leaves goes to jacob! well righto then. obviously it wasnt all consuming love and your just willing for anyone to take you in.. hmmm.

sorry. i hate them. and the hype. robert isnt very sexy either.
Alycia said…
I haven't read them or intend to. I'm not into that kind of thing ANYWAY and being bestsellers, I'm less inclined to! Another friend shared with me that she didn't like them because they felt pervy and wrong and made HER feel awkward reading them!

It's weird - almost as though those who disliked have been to scared to speak up before now! Yay for dissent!
That's totally how I felt girls! They just didn't do
it for me! And they did make me feel uncomfortable whi-
le reading them. The best-seller reason was also why I
resisted reading Harry Potter for so long...but at
least they were well written and had more of a purpose!
I did feel I had to frame my comments with a disclaimer
I was just waiting to get a bunch of abusive comments
from 14-year-old Twi-hards!

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